[17:07] Amanda: :( i just lost everything in lava T_T
[17:13] Vic: what'd I tell you about lava!
[17:13] Vic: Nothing but trouble!

(Talking about choice in games)
[14:16:07] <yatpay> but if your choices have no impact, what's the point of even having them? why not just watch a movie?
[14:16:22] <bryce> cause i like pushing buttons

(11:43:17) yatpay: lol, no one likes my pun: [Link to meme]
(11:46:59) Beager: probably because it should say "Juno / there's a probe going to Jupiter?"
(11:47:22) yatpay: i fail at memes :(
(11:49:15) Beager: well it was a good joke about jupiter, so Io you that much at least
(11:49:56) yatpay: lol, BOOOOOOO

[23:43:51] <chris> i'm thinking about starting a blog
[23:44:13] <yatpay> Blue Label and Blue Shift?
[23:44:26] <chris> i love it when you talk dirty
[23:44:30] <yatpay> >_>

Vic: *Burrrrrp* ... when did I have Chinese food?

(Email from Shawn to our group at work)
I've been stricken with zombie flu and won't be in today. If you see me at work today remember to shoot for the head, it's the only way.

(14:55:24) yatpay: oh man, i just got a double long wheat thin
(14:55:28) Beager: ME TOO
(14:55:41) Beager: WE'RE WHEAT TWINS

[14:28:48] <yatpay> what is the best pie
[14:28:55] <yatpay> false. the correct answer is lemon meringue
[14:29:10] <commander> i didnt even say
[14:29:16] <yatpay> doesn't matter
[14:29:19] <commander> :|

(Shawn is at a CMS sync)
[22:28:31] <shawn> If shit breaks during the sync my course of action will be this [link to image] because I haven't touched the CMS in ages

[10:27:55] <shawn> it was a picture of Eminem eating eminems
[10:28:00] <shawn> errr M&Ms
[10:28:02] <shawn> lol
[10:28:03] <yatpay> >_>

(16:30:01) Beager: i have another theory about [My Little Pony]
(16:30:46) Beager: it's secretly being funded by al-qaeda to discredit the character of americans
(16:31:07) yatpay: yeah, cause the ponies clearly display qualities that would tear this country apart :P
(16:31:23) yatpay: like friendship, honesty, laughter, loyalty, generosity, kindness..
(16:31:31) yatpay: well ok, you might have me with magic
(16:32:31) Beager: friendship paints us as soft
(16:32:38) yatpay: oh this is going to be good
(16:35:30) Beager: we'd be soft on them if they attacked us
(16:35:41) Beager: honesty means they can deceive us, we're easily deceived
(16:35:52) Beager: laughter means we don't take the arab world seriously
(16:36:05) Beager: we mock them openly with our pony worship and our Gays On Television
(16:36:24) Beager: loyalty, we are loyal to Israel and all of Her matzoh maidens
(16:36:39) Beager: Generosity also in that we give trillions of pesos to Israel every year
(16:37:27) Beager: and kindness, that we are kind to adulturers and the wicked, yet we cheer the spilling of the blood of Muammar Gadhafi the Fabulous
(16:38:01) Beager: al-qaeda will infiltrate the U.S. inside the butt of a gigantic wooden Twilight Sparkle
(16:38:12) Beager: and will reign holy death upon this traitor nation
(16:38:21) Beager: and now i'm on every watch list in the US, yaaaaaayyyy

(Testing some programming code)
Shawn: Step one.. hey! It didn't explode! Step two.. OH NOOO!!

[22:17:47] [Link to image of cute animal]
[22:18:00] <yatpay> hahahahaha, is that a seal??
[22:18:04] <shawn> polar bear
[22:18:12] <shawn> polar opposite (pun intended)

[20:03:29] <yatpay> i started an unattended fire in my kitchen yesterday
[20:03:56] <shawn> that could mean anything between my stove is on to my apartment is on

Bryce: Alright guys, I'm gonna go for a bit. I'm going to say hi to Alicia. .... Oh. Guys. Alicia says.. "I'm not requesting that." Well she's getting that, here I come! *click*

Bryce: I'll tell you this. You want me to mute you in Call of Duty? All you gotta do is talk. Boom. Done. Doesn't matter what you say. I don't need 15 year-olds telling me I suck!

yatpay: What's the major city of South Carolina?
James: None?

John Kav: JP you should make a Brony branded product.
yatpay: I'm pretty sure that would be copyright infringement.
Beager: No, it'd be.. CLOPYRIGHT infringement!
yatpay: ...I'm really mad I'm adding this [to the quotes page]
Beager: Bahahaha

Dad: [My friend] was over the other day, and wanted some.. what's that purple stuff.. you put it on toast?
yatpay: ...jam?
Dad: Yeah! Jam!
yatpay: ..

Pooja: Cats.. reproduce in bulk right?

Beager: JP, how long does it take to get to the moon?
yatpay: Using what?
Beager: False. Space isn't real.

John Kav: The Sky Crane? Sounds like something out of the Kama Sutra.

(Via text message)
Topaz: HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF BUZZ
Topaz: LETS... FIND OUT!

Colin: Bryce, have you ever seen Toy Story 3?
Bryce: No.
Colin: Bryce didn't like it either.

(A few hours after their wedding)
Alicia: Aww, I can't threaten "The wedding is off!" anymore.
Bryce: The divorce is on!!

[23:41:14] <yatpay> this year [Mel's Dad] supposedly [carved a pumpkin of] his cat: [Link to picture of Mo]
[23:41:17] <yatpay> but i haven't seen it yet
[23:42:03] <commander> hahaha
[23:42:07] <commander> that cat was made to be a pumpkin

[21:37:53] <yatpay> [Link to image]
[21:38:26] <clark_james> i wonder if he ever came back
[21:38:44] <yatpay> lmao

yatpay: Hey John!
John Kav: ..
(Simultaneously) Both: Space!!
yatpay: Alright, let's not do that again..

Phil: [If I were falling out of an airplane] I'd try to take off all my clothes. Make 'em guess.

[17:06:46] <bryce> man being a student has issues i did not prepare for...i have to actively remember to shower
[17:06:49] <bryce> it not part of routine lol

[16:37:10] <yatpay> with your hearing aids, can you hear enough of a show to get the general tone of someone's voice?
[16:37:22] <sierra> no
[16:37:27] <sierra> I can't even tell if htey're male or female, usually
[16:37:33] <sierra> just that someone's talking, maybe.
[16:37:38] <yatpay> weird. what do they let you hear then?
[16:37:45] <sierra> explosions.

[16:19:41] <mel> I was just reading an article about the Mario games
[16:20:02] <mel> And when they referred to "POW" blocks, I automatically read that as "Prisoner of War" blocks
[16:20:04] <mel> Very different

(Discussing how to hack into my website to change quote scores)
Canz: You know what the really easy way to do it is? Just punch you in the face and take your laptop.
yatpay: Ha, yeah, I'm already logged into the MySQL console.
Canz: "Hey, what happened to your face?" "I got hacked!"

(Brett texted me the day after Steve Jobs died)
Brett: steve jobs is dead?!
yatpay: lol, you're like slowbro. someone posted a picture of slowbro going "RIP Steve Irwin"
Brett: slowbro is dead?!

[13:57:23] <yatpay> [Link to a video of a surgeon peeling a grape using a sophisticated robot]
[13:57:26] <yatpay> the future is now!
[13:58:34] <nugget> in the future we won't have to peel our own grapes
[13:58:40] <nugget> robots will do it for us

[15:37:09] <yatpay> i'm pretty sure Dash is about 20% cooler than Dart
[15:38:18] <shawn> shawn rolls for initiative. Roll = 24, Goal = 12. Roll successful. Shawn dodges the pony reference.

(16:14:39) yatpay: [visiting Chernobyl is perfectly safe] provided you stay in the known safe areas, don't touch moss, don't walk into the grass, etc
(16:14:43) Beager: haha
(16:14:51) Beager: you can touch the moss and grass in new mexico though!
(16:14:54) yatpay: lol, yeah
(16:14:56) yatpay: don't touch it in chernobyl!!
(16:15:01) Beager: listen
(16:15:11) Beager: if i can't get my daily frolic in, I'm not a happy camper
[....]
(16:16:44) Beager: radioactive gas pockets that have been sitting there for 25 years
(16:16:51) Beager: are you talking about chernobyl or a lan party

[22:31:44] <yatpay> fun fact: door knobs were not invented until 1878
[22:32:29] <vicbond> Fun Fact: Prior to 1878, "doors" were called "holes".

[15:15:03] <mel> I was trying to call Raz at *our* home, forgetting that when I hit speed dial for "Raz Home" on my phone it actually calls his *parents*
[15:15:29] <mel> And without realizing, I left a message for Raz on their answering machine which starts "You're probably pooping..."

[10:30:28] <commander> did you watch arrested development
[10:30:56] <yatpay> funniest show ever made
[10:31:08] <commander> i may be going to see the entire cast at a panel in 2 weeks :D
[10:31:13] <yatpay> wowee
[10:31:14] <yatpay> very cool
[10:31:17] <commander> yea :D
[10:31:22] <yatpay> where?
[10:31:26] <commander> new york :P
[10:31:29] <commander> at the "new yorker" festival
[10:31:34] <yatpay> sweet
[10:31:36] <commander> yup
[10:32:38] <yatpay> did you watch that video of my cats opening the door? i'm meeting the entire cast later tonight
[10:33:22] <commander> the entire cast of that video?
[10:33:23] <commander> your cats?
[10:33:40] <yatpay> yeah
[10:33:52] <commander> you're meeting your cats later tonight?
[10:33:58] <yatpay> i'm so excited
[10:34:06] <commander> :|

[11:19:08] <mel> A telemarketer just hung up on me
[11:19:11] <mel> I don't know how to feel

[19:43:01] <yatpay> Orlando Bloom tweets "I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around in random items."
[19:43:21] <shawn> Lady Gaga, human katamari
[19:43:31] <shawn> and at some times human calamari

(Mel is watching My Little Pony)
[10:25:28] <mel> This just happened in real life:
[10:26:21] <mel> Mel (to no one, since I am sitting in an empty TV station): Pfft, that pony has glasses. Who do they think they are, the Mayor?
[10:26:21] <mel> Pony on show: Mayor!
[10:26:21] <mel> Mel: Shut up.

[10:11:15] <mel> Guess how many hours I'm working today
[10:12:07] <yatpay> 17
[10:12:24] <mel> Pfft, not THAT many
[10:12:52] <yatpay> 7
[10:13:07] <mel> Way more than that
[10:13:38] <yatpay> 17
[10:13:52] <mel> This game is no longer fun.

[20:49:46] <vicbond> ugh my popcorn is cold already
[20:49:50] <vicbond> THE NIGHT IS RUINED

yatpay: Oh man, I wish there were a professional kickball league. I'd watch that.
Brett: We could start it.
yatpay: OK, we'll start it in Buffalo. Get out here.
Brett: Ugh. No. We'll be the first professional kickball rivalry.

yatpay: Brett, the Bills won yesterday 41 to 7.
Brett: That's ridiculous. The Bills should never win a game.

(Notice that at the start of this quote, I am sending something Amanda said to Shawn)
[23:46:54] <yatpay> [23:45:43] <amanda> an tell Shawn "it's ok, someday he'll be one of us [as a pony fan] XD"
[23:48:09] <shawn> I'll give the same response I give to people that tell me, "You'll pray when you're on your deathbed.": I may, but know that the person that prays is no longer me; as long as I have an ounce of willpower left I'll stick to my ideals
[23:48:39] <shawn> "I may, but know that the person that ponies is no longer me"

[22:50:53] <yatpay> ugh. i hate flash videos that don't include a volume control
[22:51:11] <shawn> you mean FLASH VIDEOS THAT DON'T INCLUDE VOLUME CONTROL?

[15:45:33] <tony> I like my women like I like my scotch: twelve years old and given barely any water.

[10:02:40] <yatpay> speaking of bryce, i don't know if you heard but he's back in school
[10:02:51] <clark_james> oh yeah?
[10:03:03] <yatpay> yeah, he's going for a masters in pharmacology and toxicology
[10:03:31] <clark_james> he better design a real life Muk
[10:03:42] <clark_james> but i'm sure thats his goal anyway

[16:41:10] <yatpay> so how do you maintain a katana?
[16:41:31] <yatpay> slice through three bad guys a day?
[16:41:49] <tony> No, that's how you maintain a perimeter

[15:21:16] <mel> I'm taping the news today
[15:21:20] <yatpay> the little kid news?
[15:23:41] <mel> No, the adulty news
[15:23:45] <mel> Not like....porno news
[15:23:48] <yatpay> hahahaha
[15:24:02] <mel> That's another show entirely

[14:57:20] <yatpay> no library will ever beat [Clark University's] goddard [library]
[14:57:24] <yatpay> jerry garcia's favorite place to trip
[14:57:43] <yatpay> i want to know wtf jerry garcia was doing in the goddard library
[14:57:52] <bryce> tripping

[14:49:58] <nugget> yeah but people just liked alex mack cause she was hot
[14:51:44] <yatpay> i liked alex mack cause i wanted to be able to turn into liquid, lol

(Bryce is going outside to check out Hurricane Irene and talking to me on the phone)
Bryce: Alright, we're heading into the eye of the storm...
yatpay: You're not even near the eye!
Bryce: ...the spleeeeen.

(Making plans for Bryce's bachelor party. This is via text message)
yatpay: ok, party has been cleared with everyone at work now. i joked [with my department manager] saying "we're all nerds, so instead of strippers we'll have video games" and he said we need a video game where you strip strippers
Bryce: We aren't playing duke nukem forever
Bryce: Lol

(16:20:01) Beager: whats your spirit animal
(16:20:11) Beager: mine's a frisbee

(Via IM)
(Beager just had his wisdom teeth out)
(10:35:24) Beager: so the best part
(10:35:30) Beager: i'm in recovery, still drunk as hell
(10:35:52) Beager: wacked out of my gourd
(10:35:55) yatpay: haha
(10:35:58) Beager: with gauze in my mouth
(10:36:09) Beager: and my parents are getting instructions about after care from the nurse
(10:36:17) Beager: and i'm going "MURGHUGM MUGRHUHUGRMM MUGRHUGM"
(10:36:36) Beager: and then, i start doing Godfather impersonations, straight up Marlon Brando
(10:36:49) Beager: I've never done a Marlon Brando impersonation IN MY LIFE
(10:37:02) yatpay: LMFAO
(10:37:08) Beager: so everyone's trying to shut me up cause i'm talking over the nurse
(10:37:28) Beager: and I'm goin "HURHUH ON THIS THE DAY OF MY DAUGHTERS WEDDING!!!! TAKE THE GUN, LEAVE THE CANNOLI"
(10:37:38) Beager: and I didn't know about any of this until my parents told me later.

[00:38:23] <topaz> oh, sad story for you
[00:38:31] <topaz> i was bumping around in the dark last night
[00:38:41] <topaz> had pretty good night vision
[00:38:46] <topaz> since it was dark
[00:39:14] <topaz> went to the refrigerator to get something, which was bright and screwed up my night vision
[00:39:38] <yatpay> rookie mistake
[00:39:45] <topaz> and i thought "oh hey, i should do what pirates did and close one eye when i open the... awww .("
[00:40:06] <yatpay> ahhhh hahaha
[00:40:11] <yatpay> poor potaz

[11:04:36] < Throbulator> Good afternoon, ponygoons
[11:04:43] < Geomancing> Hola Throb.
[11:04:47] < fenster> Good morning Throbulator
[11:05:12] < Throbulator> I'm from the magical lands of yurop. I can answer all your questions!
[11:05:24] <%OFSheep> why I am so bald?
[11:05:38] < Throbulator> a wizard did it
[11:05:46] < Wooten> lousy genetics
[11:05:49] < fenster> Why is my cat so sick?
[11:05:56] < Throbulator> wizard
[11:06:01] < Throbulator> totally a wizard
[11:06:06] < yatpay> Throbulator: what will NASA replace the shuttle with?
[11:06:17] < Throbulator> wizar- oh almost got me!
[11:06:39] < yatpay> see i thought you were just going to say they'd use a wizard to teleport things into space
[11:07:11] < Throbulator> now i imagine wizards with some rocket boosters on their back
[11:07:17] < yatpay> i like it
[11:07:42] < Throbulator> besides wizard hats look kind of aerodynamic
[11:08:08] < }xXxpRInCe_dUbYAhxXx{> the robe is for keeping warm while FLYING
[11:08:37] < Wooten> wizards refer to their hats as "nose cones"

John Kav: You know how most rockets use explosive detachment to separate stages, but SpaceX is using a piston.
Beager: Speaking of explosive detachment in stages, did anyone else have Lloyd's [taco truck] for lunch?

Uday: Beager! Do that thing you do!
Beager: Masturbate?

[23:27:22] <yatpay> i was watching My Little Pony, then switched to the republican debate, haha
[23:27:27] <yatpay> an odd juxtaposition
[23:27:42] <shawn> meh, just as much horseshit flying around both

[20:10:43] <tony> Man, X-men still stands up
[20:10:45] <tony> I give it an A
[20:11:25] <tony> I give it an AA
[20:11:34] <tony> Because it's fun to watch while drinking

<amanda>: better question is how do you remember all [these random facts about Care Bears and old My Little Pony], i watched it all when i was little but i don't remember what any of it was about
<vicbond>: I think my memory only operated from 1985-1990.
<vicbond>: anything outside of that, well, thank God for chat logs.

[19:42:02] <shawn> You're lucky I can keep secrets like nobody's business
[19:42:09] <shawn> that's one hell of an unintended pun

[17:07:05] <mel> I have been working 8:30am to 10pm all week
[17:07:14] <yatpay> how is that even possible?
[17:07:25] <mel> I BOUGHT A COFFEE.

(Beager facetiously asks what the higher number you can count to is)
yatpay: Aleph Null
yatpay: there you go, a number has an aleph null cardinality if it is countably infinite
yatpay: so i think that's your answer :P
Beager: My favorite Aleph is Aleph Trebek

(Amanda, Vic, Joy, and Jeff demanded I add this quote)
(Speaking about the new "My Little Ponies")
yatpay: You see, I feel like Rainbow Dash is the coolest, but I can relate the most to Twilight Sparkle.

(1:04:58) yatpay: Hey, [work related question]
(1:06:49) Canz: I have no idea.
(1:06:56) yatpay: haha, ok
(1:09:44) Canz: I don't know most things.
(1:10:18) Canz: I just guess with confidence.

[11:54:08] <yatpay>: last year's otakon: [Link to image]
[11:54:11] <yatpay>: this year's otakon: [Link to image]
[11:54:52] <Topaz>: next year's otakon: [Link to image]

[11:47:48] <yatpay> [Link to image]
[11:54:02] <nugget> that reminds me of an are you afraid of the dark episode

(Via text message)
Brett: do squirrels poop?
yatpay: what the hell kind of a question is that
Brett: i have never seen a squirrel poop. have you?
yatpay: i've never seen you poop either!
Brett: thats because i don't poop
yatpay: touche

(I spend a lot of time on the couch in our work area. This exchange occurs via Twitter)
Beager: Having an imaginary friend is fun when you're little, until you grow up and he's living on your couch.
Matt: @beager JP was your imaginary friend growing up? Why can I see him too?