Welcome to the quotes page. When people say funny things, I write them down. I started doing this some time in 2003 and the collection has been steadily growing ever since. Around 2006 I introduced the voting system. If you like a quote, click the up arrow, if you don't like it, click the down arrow. That's it! Enjoy!
Quote #1835Score: 0 + / -
13:56:40 <mel> I'm still stuck on Sims 2
13:56:49 <mel> Like, emotionally
Quote #1834Score: 0 + / -
08:50:07 <yatpay> lol, i just searched ebay for 'landsat 7 patch' and got a lot of cat 7 patch cords
08:50:37 <vicbond007> And they're all 1c and from China
08:50:50 <vicbond007> "free gift with order"
08:50:54 <vicbond007> free gift is stinkbugs
08:51:04 <yatpay> HAHAHA
Quote #1833Score: 1 + / -
Bryce: I've been trying to get into cheese and crackers lately and.. I don't even know where to start. There's so many types of cheese.
Quote #1832Score: 0 + / -
11:05:59 <vicbond007> [my persistent cough] is just from shitty food.
11:06:08 <yatpay> lol, it's like a burglar alarm
11:06:13 <yatpay> "vic's been eating off-diet!"
11:06:13 <vicbond007> burger alarm
11:06:16 <yatpay> HAHAHAHA
Quote #1831Score: 0 + / -
Annalise: Dogs are amazing. In that they have the capability to kill us at any time.. and they usually won't.
Quote #1830Score: 2 + / -
(Josh is talking about a company he's considering applying to)
Josh: They're like the Casper of bidets. Like a ghost whispered to your butthole.
Quote #1829Score: 0 + / -
Suz: My 4-o-clock meeting has been canceled.. because I canceled it.
Quote #1828Score: 0 + / -
12:29:46 <josh> jp are you gonna see ad astra
12:29:56 <vicbond007> catch you on the next pass
12:30:21 <josh> you should go to the theater and then look at a poster
12:30 24 <josh> and then leave
12:30:30 <josh> and then see it the following time
Quote #1827Score: 0 + / -
17:04:42 <sawboss> Gooigi
17:04:48 <yatpay> no
17:04:49 <yatpay> stop
17:05:05 <yatpay> is there a wagooigi?
17:31:40 <sawboss> You said stop and then immediately escalated it haha
Quote #1826Score: 0 + / -
10:41:36 <mel> Oooooh no, I just watched a bunch of 10th grade cheerleaders hit on a senior boy.
10:42:17 <mel> It was...thirsty
10:42:48 <yatpay> >_>
10:44:34 <dan> they need some Brawndo
10:44:55 <mel> They won't stop giggling during silent reading time
10:45:04 <yatpay> well when is giggle time
10:45:19 <mel> 11:15 to 11:25
10:45:31 <dan> Tee--
10:45:36 <mel> NO
10:45:41 <dan> --Hee
Quote #1825Score: 2 + / -
10:13:00 <yatpay> in today's "i should just go back to bed" moment.. i just discovered there is a challenger accident "truther" conspiracy that says that the entire crew is actually alive and the whole thing was staged
10:15:09 <sawboss> Oh, you got my newsletter
10:17:53 <yatpay> ಠ_ಠ
Quote #1824Score: 0 + / -
08:00:58 <yatpay> lol, oh man. so here's the most unexpected thing. there is now a non-zero chance that when you're up here we'll be grabbing lunch or something with clark james
08:01:07 <mel> Whaaaaaat
08:01:12 <yatpay> who is going to be floating through the area at some vague time around that time
08:01:22 <yatpay> he's like a balloon that you have to go chasing down
08:01:24 <mel> Like a ghost with bones in it
08:01:38 <yatpay> HAHAHA
Quote #1823Score: 1 + / -
11:33:31 <Lisey> i'm such a stuffed-up mouth-breather right now that eating crackers takes up my last airway and that's how i live on the wild side
Quote #1822Score: 1 + / -
22:09:55 <Lisey> i studied for 5 years to tell people not to smear poop on their face, i clearly have chosen wisely in life
22:10:27 <yatpay> haha, oh nooooo
22:11:58 <Lisey> haha in all seriousness my job is great and i chose it because i like meeting interesting people
22:12:50 <Lisey> but someitmes when i take a step back im like "is this real life? or a sitcom? what is happening? why is a crisis so morbidly funny? dont smear poop on your face"
22:13:17 <yatpay> HAHAHAHA
22:13:30 <yatpay> please
22:13:31 <yatpay> just please
22:16:19 <pandapook> Vic says "dont do a shit"
22:16:33 <yatpay> haaaaaaaaaaa
22:18:02 <Lisey> what if, you don't do a shit, but find a shit, and put that on your face
22:18:07 <Lisey> did vic think about that
Quote #1821Score: 1 + / -
20:40:10 <mel> The problem with searching for my name in big documents is that it always also highlights every time somebody says something smells.
Quote #1820Score: 2 + / -
15:24:10 <vicbond007> I like how Bronycon got away with doing everything Otakon couldn't. Streaming from the con center, recording video, setting off indoor pyrotechnics, not using DSL...
15:24:23 <yatpay> pyrotechnics??
15:24:28 <yatpay> oh that smoke?
15:24:46 <vicbond007> no at closing and opening, they had actual firework fountains
15:24:54 <vicbond007> on the main stage
15:24:58 <yatpay> lol, jesus
15:25:07 <yatpay> with so many furries in the audience that's a real roll of the dice
15:25:16 <shawncplus> HAHAHA
15:25:16 <yatpay> one stray spark..
Quote #1819Score: 2 + / -
Mel: "Dig me up, I dare you" would make a great tombstone.
Quote #1818Score: 2 + / -
Mel: My Scottish accent is getting so good
Topaz: Is it?
Mel: Yeah, I don't even have to yell anymore
Quote #1817Score: 0 + / -
Steve: Kids books should not have adult men being shaved.
Quote #1816Score: 2 + / -
19:39:47 <shawncplus> completely unrelated the new superman is crazy good if you haven't seen it yet
19:39:57 <yatpay> a superman thing is good?
19:40:08 <shawncplus> the last two superman movies have been fucking incredible
19:40:18 <yatpay> ...... superman???
19:40:22 <shawncplus> fuck, spiderman
19:40:26 <yatpay> lol, holy shit
19:40:28 <shawncplus> I was going to say "super good"
19:40:51 <shawncplus> evidently my brain moved the word over
Quote #1815Score: 4 + / -
Tom: I've got a bunch of old junk I'm getting rid of.
yatpay: You got a PS2?
Tom: I've got a PS1. Two of 'em!
Quote #1814Score: 3 + / -
[1:26 PM] yatpay: Calvin Coolidge had a pet raccoon named Rebecca
[1:26 PM] Mom: Me too
[1:26 PM] yatpay: hahahahahahahahaha
Quote #1813Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: Buzz is gaining weight and Neil is losing it. What's going on?
Quote #1812Score: 2 + / -
[3:17 PM] yatpay: why are there scary crystals on your desk
[3:17 PM] Dan D: It's a bouncy ball
[3:17 PM] Dan D: Well, was
Quote #1811Score: 3 + / -
Bryce: Mario's a bad person! I mean, I'll play his games, but he's a bad person!
Quote #1810Score: 1 + / -
Vic: [The new AMV server has] a 2 drive set, with a backup 2 drive mirror, and if a single drive fails it immediately gets dropped and replaced with a standby drive
yatpay: this sounds distressingly like the computer architecture of the space shuttle
Vic: Opportunity didn't die. I stole it for the VAT
Quote #1809Score: 3 + / -
13:45:10 <yatpay> "TIL Late 80s, during visiting a zoo, Mike Tyson offered the zookeeper $10,000 to open a gorilla cage so he can go in there and punch the Gorilla who he noticed was bullying all of the other primates."
13:56:26 <brett> Lol that's awesome
13:57:12 <brett> In the dnd universe, a fight between Tyson and a gorilla could be hilarious
13:57:36 <brett> In real life i feel like a gorilla could probably tear tyson's arms off
13:58:03 <brett> Which of course is against the rules of boxing
Quote #1808Score: 1 + / -
[12:50] vicbond007: Guys...I'm not long for this world. Ghostbusters 3 is confirmed. After that comes out, this world will have little else to offer me. It's been a good run, folks.
[12:51] pandapook: well make sure to at least bring the groceries home later
Quote #1807Score: 1 + / -
[12:04] bretticusmax: Tony as my closest and best home owning friend, i was really counting on you building a bunker with enough space and frozen burger meat for me to meet you there at the apocalypse
[12:05] zoopers: As my closest and burgeriest friend, I was really counting on you being the frozen burger meat
Quote #1806Score: 5 + / -
[11:57] suz: just think in 2051 you'll only be 65 years young
[11:57] suz: where will the waterfront be then?? the mystery makes it exciting
Quote #1805Score: 6 + / -
21:18:36 <bryce> Little Bear keeps trying to lick my hand, a clear sign I need to wash my hands
Quote #1804Score: 2 + / -
Becky: Staying up late watching Harry Potter is different than staying up late drinking beer.
Quote #1803Score: 3 + / -
10:11:50 <sawboss> I’ve had a skip-it theme stuck in my head for a little while now
10:11:52 <sawboss> not sure why
10:15:15 <sawboss> All I know is the very best thing of all, there’s a, counter on this ball
Quote #1802Score: 2 + / -
22:31:04 <sawboss> I made a wishlist called “Maybe Manga” at some point
22:31:09 <sawboss> but there is nothing there
22:31:14 <yatpay> maybe not manga
22:31:44 <sawboss> yeah
22:31:48 <sawboss> that is for the best
22:31:53 <yatpay> hahahahah
Quote #1801Score: 2 + / -
20:42:48 <yatpay> "hm.. what could i put in a kong to keep topaz busy? perl? too abstract. fake eye? too mean. laphroiggughgu [fancy whiskey]? too liquid"
20:43:17 <Topaz> lol
20:43:33 <Topaz> infinitely many smaller fractally-arranged kongs
20:44:11 <yatpay> HAHAHAHA
Quote #1800Score: 0 + / -
20:32:07 < *> Endorphion mic drops.
20:32:32 < *> Topaz picks mic back up
20:32:34 <Topaz> please don't do that
20:32:36 <Topaz> these are expensive
20:32:38 < *> Topaz puts mic back away
Quote #1799Score: 1 + / -
15:22:19 <vicbond007> somehow I have a nutrisystem snack that says "enjoy by October 15 2018"
15:22:34 <vicbond007> Guess I'll just eat it miserably
Quote #1798Score: 4 + / -
11:35:26 <sawboss> I am the reincarnation of Richard Garfield and he hasn’t even died yet
Quote #1797Score: 0 + / -
17:09:15 <yatpay> do you ever suddenly get an uneasy feeling out of nowhere.. stop for a second.. realize "oh no.." and then i start sending you CSS questions?
17:15:32 <suz> hmm
17:15:35 <suz> I havent thought about it
17:15:40 <suz> maybe thats what that is
Quote #1796Score: 1 + / -
Brett: Bread, when it goes bad, is obviously bad, right? I've had this bread for like twoooo months and it looks fine. I'm working from home tomorrow, I'm not scared! It's not no expiration date, it's good forever!
Quote #1795Score: 2 + / -
10:04:16 <zoopers> I already have a fat, tomato-fed woodchuck walking around all cocky and alive
10:05:19 <zoopers> Also it poops like an adult man, which is deeply upsetting
10:05:51 <zoopers> . . . that or my neighbor is really messing with me
Quote #1794Score: 1 + / -
[11:53] pandapook: Today is so nice
[11:53] pandapook: Too bad I hate outside
Quote #1793Score: 3 + / -
[17:26] Mel: I learned a lot from listening to Scottish ASMR, actually
[17:27] yatpay: I think that's the most Mel sentence I've ever heard
Quote #1792Score: 0 + / -
[09:30] zoopers: time to give Koda her first bath. I'm creating a makeshift scuba suit
[10:06] zoopers: She seems to hate being wet, but that's always been cold water
[10:06] zoopers: Either way I'm covering the tub in peanut butter
[10:16] yatpay: >_>
[11:18] zoopers: That's unrelated to the dog. I just don't want to slip
Quote #1791Score: 3 + / -
David K: What's life if you're not sweating every step?
Dan D: Dry, I guess
Quote #1790Score: 1 + / -
Topaz: i eat so much sushi i can tell the temperature by checking how far up my legs the mercury is
Quote #1789Score: 1 + / -
[14:24] vicbond: Unexpected consequence of serious weight loss, not a day goes by where I almost lose my wedding ring.
[14:24] vicbond: I can fit a pen in it, above my finger.
[14:25] yatpay: lol, gotta get it resized
[14:25] yatpay: i don't think it's expensive
[14:25] vicbond: I'll hold off
[14:25] vicbond: Just in case I turn into a fat fuck again.
[14:25] vicbond: There's gotta be something I can jam in there, like a classy washer or something
Quote #1788Score: 0 + / -
[1:12 PM] yatpay: no comment
[1:12 PM] Dan: yes comment
[1:13 PM] Dan: is this equivalent to `//no` and `//yes`?
[1:13 PM] yatpay: ha, what?
[1:13 PM] yatpay: oh
[1:13 PM] yatpay: UGH
[1:13 PM] Dan: HA
Quote #1787Score: 4 + / -
[21:33] brett: [the bitcoin surge] makes me nervous just thinking about it
[21:34] brett: like the price of bitcoin is going to crash, and somehow i'm going to default on my mortgage
[21:34] brett: i don't even own a house!
Quote #1786Score: 1 + / -
(Shawn is interviewing at Google)
[17:56:05] <shawncplus> basically everything in there math related I'm going to tank
[17:56:59] <yatpay> when it comes up just ask to go to the bathroom
[17:57:01] <yatpay> every time
[17:57:38] <shawncplus> "I'm sorry, answering that would reveal proprietary information for my current employer"
Quote #1785Score: 1 + / -
[11:27 AM] yatpay: is [the satellite] JPSS-1 associated with our constellations?
[11:48 AM] Dan: no its the new better EOS constellation
[11:48 AM] Dan: they fly above [our satellites]
[11:50 AM] yatpay: literally and figuratively? :P
(Dan buys some chips)
[1:33 PM] Dan: these arent that great
[1:33 PM] Dan: theres more surface area for flavor but it tastes pretty bland
[1:33 PM] yatpay: lol, i thought you were talking about the new EOS constellation and i was confused
[1:34 PM] Dan: lol
Quote #1784Score: 0 + / -
[13:43] zooper: Sometimes I wonder what Smarterchild's last words were
Quote #1783Score: 2 + / -
(Mel is a teacher now)
Mel: Guys I'm really worried my students are going to figure out I'm a pervert.
Quote #1782Score: 2 + / -
[15:00:41] <mel> I have a sexual harassment video playing on mute in another tab
[15:03:03] <yatpay> but how will you learn to sexually harass?
[15:03:12] <mel> HENTAI
Quote #1781Score: 9 + / -
Mckeed: A frozen grape is good as a goof to throw at someone, they think, just a grape, that doesn't hurt
Quote #1780Score: 0 + / -
yatpay: Topaz is still unconscious or lurking unseen in the house
Tony: The two aren't mutually exclusive. Check your six for somnambulists.
Quote #1779Score: 3 + / -
[16:05] yatpay: if you had to sum up Final Fantasy 5-15 with one word each...... what would they be
[16:44] Josh: Five
[16:44] Josh: Siz
[16:44] Josh: well
[16:44] Josh: i screwed that joke up
[16:44] yatpay: HAHAHAHA
[16:45] Josh: hahaha shit
Quote #1778Score: 0 + / -
Vic: I want the doctor to write me a prescription for pepperoni
Tony: That's the start of a porno..
Quote #1777Score: 0 + / -
[08:31] josh: Hey did you use an app for your room layout planning
[08:41] yatpay: nah just photoshop
[08:42] josh: Ugh so mundane
[08:45] yatpay: oh, sorry, I used project tango, cloud computing, and machine learning so that cortana would automatically learn my spatial preferences
[08:45] josh: Ugh too complicated
Quote #1776Score: 7 + / -
Amanda: How'd you mess up your knee anyway?
Brett: Too much flag football and weight lifting.
yatpay: My joints are pristine!
Vic: I'm like veal.
Quote #1775Score: 5 + / -
[21:45:53] <yatpay> i'm thinking about getting into tulip futures
[21:48:18] <brettalmquist> Good investment, they're due for a rebound
Quote #1774Score: 3 + / -
Tony: Why would you bring [James Bond] Jaws into space?? You put a helmet on that motherfucker and he's not special anymore!
Quote #1773Score: 0 + / -
[09:15:24] <mel> So I woke up this morning hugging my laptop, which is cool
Quote #1772Score: 9 + / -
[14:42:19] <%yatpay> [Link to photo]
[14:43:52] < Zoopers> That happens when you press the SHIFT key five times
Quote #1771Score: 1 + / -
[23:26:42] <yatpay> turns out the shipping weight of the rift is about the same as buzz
[23:26:45] <yatpay> maybe i can trade them
[23:27:21] <suz> lol
[23:27:48] <suz> if you're very careful, you can swap buzz for the rift without setting off the alarms
[23:28:43] <yatpay> oh man, good idea
Quote #1770Score: 4 + / -
[19:45:00] < wacko> i want a psyche chip
[19:45:39] < PandaPook> I want a potato chip
Quote #1769Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: today i saw a guy with no arms smoking a cigarette with his feet.
yatpay's Mom: Get can you blame him?
Quote #1768Score: 3 + / -
[10:48:09] <yatpay> do you think the idea behind sky knights taking so much damage from arrows [in Fire Emblem] is that the animal falls down?
[10:48:27] <bryce> hmmm, maybe
[10:48:37] <bryce> i guess an animal could freak out
[10:48:41] <bryce> i'd freak out
[10:48:42] <bryce> haha
Quote #1767Score: 2 + / -
[08:49:37] < Zoopers> Most people don't know that time travel is only possible on Feb 29
[08:49:46] < Zoopers> So that's when you look for the anomalies
[08:50:52] < Zoopers> Yesterday I watched a picture of Hitler fade in and out of existence at least ten times
Quote #1766Score: 2 + / -
[11:43:29] < Zoopers> I just had an awkward panic where I looked out the window to see if the mail had arrived
[11:43:33] < Zoopers> And there was the mailman
[11:43:37] < Zoopers> But he was looking down
[11:43:39] < Zoopers> So I hid
Quote #1765Score: 1 + / -
[11:03:06] < Josh> alexa, let's play the name game - buck!
[11:04:18] < Josh> banana-fana fo-fuck
[11:56:43] -!- Josh [~Adium@126.96.36.199] has quit [Quit: Leaving.]
[13:16:36] < Zoopers> bot, Josh is having a stroke
[13:16:36] <@codexbot> Zoopers: got it. (Josh used to be pretty dry)
[13:16:40] < Zoopers> Eh
Quote #1764Score: 2 + / -
[20:10:41] <yatpay> i'm watching cowboy bebop
[20:47:57] <beany> Beep Boop
[20:48:11] <yatpay> close
Quote #1763Score: 1 + / -
[11:33:46] < wacko> yesterday was my first time playing powerball
[11:33:50] <%yatpay> how'd it go
[11:33:58] < wacko> lol
Quote #1762Score: 2 + / -
[23:12:08] <suz> Dolphins and whales always look so happy and friendly
[23:12:13] <suz> I don't trust em
Quote #1761Score: 2 + / -
[13:35:14] <%yatpay> i like the idea of caesar doing a spit take
[13:38:07] < Zoopers> He was drinking an odd combination of lemon juice, garum, mustard, and egg. He spat the mixture onto a nearby salad of romaine lettuce and croutons, and the rest is history
[13:40:58] < Zoopers> I don't care if no one laughs; I'm proud of that one
Quote #1760Score: 2 + / -
[16:58] Purnell: i'm down to drink whatever
[16:58] Purnell: i see some Heinekens and soy milk in the fridge
[16:58] Purnell: thats a drink rite?
Quote #1759Score: 1 + / -
[15:44:29] < wacko> i feel like robots have already attained singularity
[15:44:50] < wacko> and they're just acting stupid to convince humans that they won't one day take over the world
Quote #1758Score: 1 + / -
James: What was that show? New Kids on the Block? No! ..Guts!!
Quote #1757Score: 3 + / -
[14:44:52] -!- Zooper [~Zooper@m-b.clients.kiwiirc.com] has joined #ponyville
[14:45:10] <%yatpay> the singular zooper!!
[14:46:20] * Zooper cell divides
[14:46:25] -!- Zooper is now known as Zoopers
Quote #1756Score: 2 + / -
Bryce: Look at that dog. He's happy as a clam.
yatpay: I feel like the expression should be "as unaware of its existence as a clam"
Bryce: .....that's true happiness, JP.
Quote #1755Score: 1 + / -
Beany: I don't know how to tell Josh to get to Harvard Square.. so he sucks.
Quote #1754Score: 7 + / -
Beany took a photo of Josh on her film camera..
Beany: Let's see how it came out! *looks at back of camera* We can't!
Quote #1753Score: 3 + / -
(Goran might have to have his tonsils out)
[10:46:41] <goran> but we'll see what the doctor says
[10:46:56] <goran> always avoid unnecessary surgery etc etc
[10:47:52] <yatpay> yeah of course
[10:48:06] <goran> unless it's for like
[10:48:09] <goran> a sick robot arm
Quote #1752Score: 0 + / -
[14:42:53] <%yatpay> "As a Colorado native, I've only ever had sex a mile high. What I need to do is join the Sea Level club. "
[14:43:22] < suz> lol
[14:45:13] < Zoopers> Seven-thousand leagues club
[14:46:33] < Zoopers> Oh wait, it's twenty. I feel tumb
[14:46:36] < Zoopers> dumb
[14:46:37] < suz> :|
[14:46:38] < Zoopers> Triple dumb
Quote #1751Score: 2 + / -
[17:55:16] <goran> so the doctor gave me antibiotics
[17:55:26] <goran> which are basically just penicillin
[17:55:29] <goran> and i've always wondered
[17:55:48] <goran> if the other bacteria like, resent the bacteria responsible for giving us penicillin
[17:56:04] <goran> like it sold them out
Quote #1750Score: 1 + / -
[15:48:03] < Josh> im gonna leave at 4 if [the fire alarm that keeps going off] goes off after 4
[15:48:14] < suz> how in the world are you gonna do that
[15:48:26] < suz> pretty sure that requires time travel
[15:48:39] < Josh> hmmm
[15:48:40] < Josh> you're right
Quote #1749Score: 0 + / -
[12:14:29] < Zoopers> Also, being a ghost sucks more than I thought if you can get mailed around an' shit
[12:14:43] < Zoopers> I need to change my retirement plan
Quote #1748Score: 0 + / -
[13:28:59] <mel> A bunch of work people are hovering behind my desk
[13:29:04] <mel> And I don't wanna look like a slacker
[13:29:10] <mel> Just act like a slacker
Quote #1747Score: 2 + / -
Vic: The vending machine at work is unlocked. Also, they're out of snickers bars now.
Quote #1746Score: 0 + / -
[15:34:22] < wacko> there is a sewer museum in paris which is, no joke, literally in a sewer
[15:34:46] < wacko> but they made their sewers so nice that there is plenty of space
[15:35:33] < wacko> that shit would never fly in america
[15:38:07] < Zoopers> There is a joke here about astronaut waste, but I choose to let it go
[15:38:25] <%yatpay> you don't want to know how they deal with human waste in space. it's gross
[15:38:51] < Zoopers> Bag it, tag it, frag it
[15:38:56] < Zoopers> 'murica
[15:38:59] <%yatpay> no, more than that
[15:39:03] <%yatpay> imagine a cotton candy machine.....
[15:39:12] < Zoopers> No thank you
[15:39:12] <%yatpay> the worst cotton candy machine
Quote #1745Score: 3 + / -
[12:32:55] <%yatpay> wacko: [link to funny picture of Wacko]
[12:37:27] < wacko> keke
[12:37:55] <%yatpay> keke rosberg? [link to photo of F1 driver Keke Rosberg]
[12:41:10] < wacko> f1 drivers would make good couriers
[12:41:20] < wacko> "keke's delivery service"
Quote #1744Score: 0 + / -
[14:50:56] <bryce> i should prob settle on my main smash fighters
[14:51:06] <bryce> and mix it up when i feel like it
[14:51:07] <bryce> haha
[14:51:14] <bryce> Peach is a front runner
[14:51:17] <bryce> HAH-CHAH
[14:51:18] <yatpay> you should write a serious looking paper on your decision making process
[14:51:25] <bryce> I just wrote it
[14:51:28] <yatpay> hahahahahaha
[14:51:29] <bryce> HAH-CHaH
Quote #1743Score: 3 + / -
[11:42:59] < Zoopers> Honestly, if you can attach a bar bot to a Roomba, you have a good butler bot
Quote #1742Score: 1 + / -
[10:42:47] < Josh> in japan, viking means "endless buffet"
[10:42:58] < Josh> it also means viking.
Quote #1741Score: 2 + / -
[11:53:24] < PandaPook> Dean likes to put his arm down in empty cups then lick his paw like "what was in here, hummm a fine choice"
[11:54:00] < Zoopers> Pretty much what I do
Quote #1740Score: 0 + / -
[11:44:30] < Zoopers> When Shayna has the hiccups
[11:44:34] < Zoopers> I am really good at scaring her
[11:44:38] < Zoopers> But it doesn't work
[11:44:55] < Zoopers> I'm going to keep doing it anyway
Quote #1739Score: 2 + / -
[14:37:37] < Zoopers> Dankesheen
[14:37:58] < PandaPook> my German teacher is rolling in her grave right now x.x
[14:38:12] < Zoopers> ZEN SHE HAST BEEN BURIED INEFFICIENTLY
[14:38:25] < Zoopers> PACK ZEM MORE TIGHTLY
[14:39:08] < beany> Hahahaha zoopers is fluent in German
Quote #1738Score: 3 + / -
[11:12:52] < beany> I'm knitting a scarf for my gramma
[11:13:11] < beany> Tables turned Gramma! Muahahaha
Quote #1737Score: 1 + / -
[11:54:29] <goran> sleeping bags always freak me out actually
[11:54:33] <goran> i mean i don't mind sleeping in them
[11:54:36] <goran> just the idea of like
[11:54:39] <goran> if there's a snake in there
[11:54:43] <goran> i can't get out quickly
Quote #1736Score: 4 + / -
[11:04:35] <mel> Spotify thinks I want to listen to Mambo #5 over and over
[11:04:44] <mel> You're so wrong, Spotify
Quote #1735Score: 7 + / -
[15:14:00] < VicBond007> We played [Five Nights at Freddy's] on the projector
[15:14:04] < VicBond007> So everything was life-sized
[15:14:09] < VicBond007> Including my nightmares
Quote #1733Score: 1 + / -
[11:33:20] <@yatpay> i need to think of somehting half assed for work halloween
[11:34:03] < Zoopers> Just keep adding office supplies to yourself
[11:34:08] < Zoopers> Until you're a costume
[11:34:15] < Zoopers> "I am the stock room"
Quote #1732Score: 9 + / -
[10:09:27] < Zoopers> Pixie sticks are the most honest candy
[10:09:32] < Zoopers> Just drink this fuckin' sugar
[10:09:37] < Zoopers> Pour it in your mouth
Quote #1731Score: 2 + / -
[10:10 AM] JP: giant bombcast quote of the week: "You can't put a fucking price on Zombo Com!"
[10:12 AM] Eiwe: You can't
[10:12 AM] Eiwe: Because you can do anything at Zombo Com.
[10:12 AM] Eiwe: Except put a price on it.
Quote #1730Score: 5 + / -
[22:53:36] <yatpay> lol, i fucking love prometheus and bob
[22:53:48] <beany> Me too man
[22:54:05] <beany> That's all I can think about
Quote #1729Score: 3 + / -
[15:33:36] < jimsmithkka> i have fencing weapons
[15:34:16] < Skie[work]> I have fencing
[15:34:55] < Skie[work]> which could possibly be repurposed into a weapon
Quote #1728Score: 1 + / -
[15:07:08] <bryce> i might just [get a flu shot] this week
[15:07:16] <bryce> maybe before school
[15:07:23] <bryce> i take public so i'm at high risk
[15:07:36] <bryce> I also lick random objects as i go
[15:07:40] <bryce> another risk factor
Quote #1727Score: 4 + / -
Bryce: Didn't you have a goatee at some point?
Brett: Uh.. the last five years?
Quote #1726Score: 1 + / -
[16:19:36] <suz> i'm weird bc i love horror but it also scares me
[16:19:39] <suz> maybe thats why i love it
[16:19:42] <suz> i'm scared very easily
[16:19:55] <yatpay> BOO!!!!!!
[16:20:03] <suz> :-|
Quote #1725Score: 9 + / -
[22:34:21] < Waldo> commitment: opening a pint of ice cream and throwing the lid away.
Quote #1724Score: 3 + / -
[12:07:47] <%yatpay> i was amazed when i found out how thick the skull actually is though
[12:07:50] <%yatpay> i thought it was like 1-2mm
[12:07:55] < Josh> no way
[12:08:08] <%yatpay> oh weird
[12:08:18] <%yatpay> womens' skulls are 0.6mm thicker
[12:08:23] <%yatpay> their brains as so safe
[12:08:28] < Josh> its at least what, a centimeter?
[12:08:31] <%yatpay> lol, that sounded like an insult
[12:08:34] <%yatpay> average is 6.5mm for men
[12:08:38] <%yatpay> 7.1mm for women
[12:08:52] < Zoopers> I wonder if there's an evolutionary reason
[12:09:07] < Josh> cavemen clubbing women
[12:09:17] <%yatpay> pfft
[12:09:23] < Zoopers> Oh, yeah. I saw a documentary on that on cartoon network
Quote #1723Score: 10 + / -
[12:02:49] < Josh> computers, when asked if they are computers
[12:02:58] < Josh> always say beep boop
Quote #1722Score: 2 + / -
[15:23:44] < Zoopers> Step 1: Swallow plant
[15:23:49] < Zoopers> Step 2: Swallow flashlight
[15:23:54] < Zoopers> Can now breathe underwater
[15:23:58] < Zoopers> Science
Quote #1721Score: 2 + / -
[13:38:09] < beany> I got a random text
[13:39:00] < beany> Telling me to be at the Beverly school for the deaf at 9:30am in gym clothes
[13:39:04] < beany> No thanks.
Quote #1720Score: 1 + / -
[12:53:30] < VicBond007> When Zoopers mentioned his grandma, I immediately pictured a lasagna with googly eyes
[12:53:37] < Zoopers> hahahaha
[12:53:37] < Zoopers> wat
[12:53:47] < VicBond007> I dunno
[12:53:56] < VicBond007> I've been really hungry all day
Quote #1719Score: 4 + / -
[13:10:53] <bryce> haha there is this line in a song i am listening to "Take your shoes off... and I will throw them in the lake"
[13:10:55] <bryce> fuck you
[13:10:55] <bryce> haha
[13:11:07] <bryce> don't throw my shoes in the lake
Quote #1718Score: 2 + / -
[11:33:23] < VicBond007> Dirty laundry is just clean laundry that you're not desperate enough to wear.
Quote #1717Score: 2 + / -
[11:01:27] < Waldo> man, cats freak the fuck out when you give them ear drops.
[11:01:52] < gogisha> i freak the fuck out when you give cats ear drops
[11:02:13] < beany> It's why you gotta burrito the cats and Goran first
[11:02:28] < gogisha> haha
Quote #1716Score: 0 + / -
[16:09:31] <vicbond> I dunno I just like blaming robots for bad decisions
Quote #1715Score: 0 + / -
[09:13] yatpay: man. i guess i need more sleep. i just tried to do: "ssh ~/repos/2u/puppet"
[09:14] Eiwe: That seems reasonable. You just want to ssh into the directory.
[09:14] yatpay: lol
[09:14] Eiwe: cd http://www.google.com
Quote #1714Score: 3 + / -
[14:42:39] < beany> Maybe I won't go to the post office today. I'm not a strong swimmer
Quote #1713Score: 8 + / -
[16:45:51] <yatpay> i've lost more than the cats weigh :D
[16:46:35] <brett> now you can finally justify eating the cats!
Quote #1712Score: 1 + / -
[13:39:07] <@yatpay> apparently i'm a decent server at volleyball because i'm bad enough to be squirrely but good enough to keep it in bounds, haha
[13:40:52] < Zoopers> I'm a decent server of food for the same reason
Quote #1711Score: 7 + / -
14:18:06] < Zoopers> The REAL question is if this upgrade warrants a new PC name
[14:18:27] < Brett> i think it does!
[14:18:43] <@yatpay> for what it's worth, i didn't rename Highwind when i got a new motherboard/cpu/ram
[14:18:55] <@yatpay> i think for a new name you need a new case
[14:20:12] < VicBond007> I consider new motherboard a "new pc"
[14:20:37] < Brett> new pc! new pc!
[14:21:08] < Zoopers> I can't accept that on the grounds that I would like my brain to one day be put in a robot body and don't want to look back on this as a reason for an existential crisis
[14:21:16] <@yatpay> hahahahahahahahaa
Quote #1710Score: 5 + / -
[12:10:30] <@yatpay> WaldoZzz: [rocket launch] postponed again. probably around a week. bad actuator in the thrust vector control system and they want to pin down the root cause
[12:14:37] < Sawboss> i hate it when they miss an actuator
[12:14:47] < Sawboss> you have to go all the way back down the aggro crag
[12:14:52] < Sawboss> to hit it
Quote #1709Score: 1 + / -
[19:35] brian: 4:3 is the hitler of ratios
[19:36] brian: I will crop my video to the golden ratio
[19:38] brian: 1165x720
Quote #1708Score: 6 + / -
[14:23:11] <suz> the best part of [being a freelancer] is that i sound totally professional but i have no pants on
Quote #1707Score: 4 + / -
[13:10:51] <vicbond> when I log into the Iron Editor youtube account, almost all of the video suggestions are makeup tips.
[13:11:05] <yatpay> cause you're so fucking ugly
[13:11:13] <vicbond> lmao
Quote #1706Score: 0 + / -
[10:42:01] < Melee> My cat is trying really hard to eat my cereal
[10:42:07] <@yatpay> what kind of cereal
[10:42:22] < Zoopers> Meow mix
[10:42:25] < Zoopers> Poor Mel =(
Quote #1705Score: 8 + / -
[12:51:46] < suz> the F train derailed this morning
[12:51:51] < suz> so the 7 will probably be extra crowded
[12:51:55] < suz> who knows for how long
[12:51:55] < Josh> jesus christ really?
[12:52:01] < suz> that is all
[12:52:40] < Zoopers> On an unrelated note, I got a sweet flat penny this morning
[12:52:46] < suz> ooh from where
[12:53:09] < VicBond007> I get it
[12:53:17] < suz> :<
Quote #1704Score: 4 + / -
[14:21:28] < Melee> There's a really nice row of condos near me where one in the middle exploded during a fire. I call it Building Duck Duck Goose.
Quote #1703Score: 3 + / -
[11:07:45] <@yatpay> Zoopers: i have this image of you breaking off of society and starting a viking theme park and just living there
[11:07:56] <@yatpay> but you'll need a beard
[11:08:06] <@yatpay> no one will take a clean shaven viking seriously
[11:11:11] < Zoopers> I would love that, Yatpay. Haha
[11:11:30] < Zoopers> A theme park that regularly raids King Richard's Faire and takes their shit
Quote #1702Score: 1 + / -
[10:58:17] < charlie> still no work
[10:58:23] < charlie> best day to work from home
[10:58:26] < suz> you should watch orphan black
[10:58:35] < charlie> you should watch orphan black
[10:58:39] < suz> i did
[10:58:40] < suz> lol
Quote #1701Score: 2 + / -
[15:33:00] < Zoopers> Beards are comforting
[15:33:05] < Zoopers> That's why I don't have one
[15:33:10] < Zoopers> So you remember I'll cut joo
Quote #1700Score: 2 + / -
Brett: What is diasterPEACE?
yatpay: He's the musician you just listened to.
Bryce: He did the soundtrack to Fez.
Brett: Is that you pronounce it? I always thought it was "FEEZ"
yatpay: ...Brett. "Fez" is a word!!
Quote #1698Score: 1 + / -
Kailey: There's sour cream in this pie.
Charles: That's what that is? I didn't want to know. I didn't really look until I was halfway through the pie.
Quote #1697Score: 2 + / -
[15:18:59] <bryce> not sure what to do tonight though
[15:19:03] <bryce> annalise is away
[15:19:09] <bryce> and the mice will play
[15:19:17] <bryce> but they don't like me, so i am not invited to their party
Quote #1696Score: 6 + / -
[13:53:04] < Josh> i talk like this
[13:53:05] < Josh> just to
[13:53:08] < Josh> create
[13:53:11] < suz> annoyance
[13:53:12] < Josh> DRAMAAAA
Quote #1695Score: 6 + / -
[13:40:22] < beany> Mac and cheese pie?7
[13:40:29] < beany> !?!?
[13:41:16] <@yatpay> lol, where did that 7 come from
[13:42:17] < Josh> the heart
Quote #1694Score: 3 + / -
[18:00:16] <yatpay> buzz has become weird around strangers
[18:01:00] <bryce> haha you have to do some shock therapy
[18:01:04] <bryce> take him onto the subway
Quote #1693Score: 2 + / -
[13:39:28] <bryce> my [antibodies] comes in monday
[13:39:32] <bryce> then i wlll have tons to do
[13:39:53] <yatpay> hell, i make tons of those things every day
[13:40:20] <bryce> can they detect Akt phosphorylated at the Threonine 308 residue?
[13:40:29] <yatpay> that's between me and my doctor
Quote #1692Score: 3 + / -
(After reading the next quote down)
[23:18:52] < beany> Ha
[23:18:54] < beany> What
[23:19:28] < PandaPook_> he realized he was about to say they go through peroids, and then stopped himself lol
[23:19:57] < beany> Yeah
[23:20:12] < beany> I meant. what to the girls in tubs
[23:20:23] <@yatpay> lol, what?
[23:20:47] < PandaPook_> girls in tubs?
[23:25:21] < beany> Did I read that wrong
[23:25:36] < beany> I did
[23:26:11] < beany> Angry girls in labs makes much more sense. not that I doubt bryce's ability to pull in wet tang
[23:26:53] < PandaPook_> lmao, I love you Beany xD
(After reading that..)
Bryce: Brings a whole new meaning to the term 'western blot'
Quote #1691Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: Is that one of the angry girls in your lab.
Bryce: No. They're not so angry anymore. They go through perio--errrr..
Quote #1690Score: 4 + / -
[23:54:51] < Josh> more than once I've considered that airplanes are just an elaborate trick
Quote #1689Score: 0 + / -
[20:32:53] < suz> i think mxy has an affinity for cheese
[20:33:49] < beany> I do too
Quote #1688Score: 3 + / -
[00:30:26] <shawn> We have a new guy starting in a couple weeks, Shaun
[00:30:31] <shawn> with a U, like a stupid person
[00:30:40] <shawn> The U is for stUpid Shawn
Quote #1687Score: 10 + / -
Goran: Suz is the corgi of people.
Quote #1686Score: 4 + / -
[09:58:40] <@yatpay> nugget isn't a human
[09:58:56] < Zoopers> Can confirm: He functions without liquor or caffeine
[09:59:05] < Zoopers> Research suggests he is a robot of some kind
[09:59:21] <@yatpay> without caffeine, ethanol, and aspartame, i'm not sure i'd have a bloodstream
[09:59:36] < Zoopers> I don't even have blood
[09:59:45] < Zoopers> It's literally a mixture of olive oil and red wine
Quote #1685Score: 2 + / -
[16:47:09] <@yatpay> every day the day gets 2 minutes shorter :(
[16:47:22] < gogisha> until the day is gone completely
[16:47:29] < gogisha> and replaced by eternal night
[16:47:33] < suz> then we wont have to go to work :D
[16:47:34] < gogisha> THEN I WILL RISE
[16:47:41] < suz> because goran will rise
Quote #1684Score: 1 + / -
[15:50:52] < Zoopers> Secret society [photo of three pugs]
[15:50:59] <@yatpay> oh god
[15:52:22] < gogisha> concurrent programming is super scary
[15:52:44] < suz> so are concurrent pugs
Quote #1682Score: 7 + / -
[10:44:44] < Zoopers> The mouse traps have caught mice zero times and caught Shayna three times.
Quote #1681Score: 1 + / -
[17:29:03] <commander> is elon musk from the future
[17:29:09] <commander> he looks like the generic future-race that is all races combined
[17:29:19] <commander> i think that's his secret
Quote #1680Score: 2 + / -
[17:54:13] <bryce> haha why can't the other person in the lab leave so i can get some saltybet going
[17:54:21] <bryce> Turn this place into something special
[18:27:23] <yatpay> that would be pretty ballin'
[18:48:47] <bryce> Science and stupidity combine
[18:49:00] <yatpay> together at last
[18:49:11] <bryce> haha it was together once i walked in the door
[18:49:15] <yatpay> hahaha
Quote #1679Score: 1 + / -
[Synacorian]: Phil, are you all dressed up today for an interview?
Phil: Nope! My jeans were dirty.
Quote #1678Score: 11 + / -
13:29:27] < suz> flu shot time!
[13:29:47] < Sawboss> horray
[13:29:53] < Sawboss> make it a double
[13:29:57] < suz> <_<
Quote #1677Score: 4 + / -
[10:20:57] <@yatpay> someone is giving away kittens at work
[10:21:03] < suz> *_*
[10:21:18] < suz> take all of them and give them away at our work
[10:21:29] < suz> but actually bring in a basket of kittens
[10:21:31] < suz> on your first day
[10:21:36] < suz> nothing could go wrong
[10:21:45] <@yatpay> what if i just stuff them in the pockets of my vest
[10:21:52] < suz> okay!
[10:23:18] < Zoopers> Hooray! Kitten vest.
[10:23:24] < Zoopers> Were you prepared for kittens?
[10:23:29] < Zoopers> I have one for you.
[10:23:41] < Zoopers> Haiku'd
Quote #1676Score: 2 + / -
[22:53:02] <nugget> I'll feel unrecognized and start doing crazy things
[22:53:19] <nugget> you're talking to a guy who doesn't even drink coffee, I have a lot of room to let loose
Quote #1675Score: 5 + / -
Goran: I don't think you understand how marriage works. You don't become one person. It's not a Voltron-style relationship.
Quote #1674Score: 9 + / -
Goran: Suz is a graphics whore. Sorry, a graphics sex worker.
Quote #1673Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: Did you guys hear that GTA V made $800 million yesterday?
Mike: That's sad.
Tony: Yeah, the new one looks really good.
Mike: Oh, I was thinking of Fast and Furious.
Quote #1672Score: 1 + / -
11:28:47] < Zoopers> Hey, let's be clear. Rippoween is NOT Tonycon
[11:28:56] < Zoopers> Tonycon has panels and a dealer room
[11:29:05] <@yatpay> but only one is open at any given time
[11:29:32] < Zoopers> Well, the panels are all about selling things.
Quote #1671Score: 4 + / -
Dustin: So here's a new one. You know that drawer of candy I have?
Dustin: Well like two hours ago I had one of those sour Warhead things. You know those?
Dustin: Well the moment I put it in my mouth.. my heart started to hurt.. and it hasn't stopped yet.
Quote #1669Score: 3 + / -
[10:37:59] < PandaPook> :( it's ok Suz I bairly get quotes
[10:38:08] <%yatpay> that's cause i'm protesting your spelling of barely
[10:38:16] < PandaPook> whatever
Quote #1668Score: 7 + / -
[10:20:20] -!- suz1 [~Adium@pool-96-232-167-35.nycmny.fios.verizon.net] has joined #ponyville
[10:20:25] < suz> nooooo
[10:20:37] < VicBond007> fake suz
[10:20:42] < VicBond007> $20 on real suz
[10:21:03] < suz> real suz vs fake suz?
[10:21:12] -!- mode/#ponyville [+h suz] by codexbot
[10:21:13] -!- suz1 was kicked from #ponyville by suz [suz1]
[10:21:17] <%suz> real suz wins
Quote #1667Score: 2 + / -
[16:32:17] <yatpay> how are tornadoes formed
[16:32:25] <commander> wind or something
[16:32:29] <yatpay> HAHAHA
[16:32:35] <commander> lol
Quote #1666Score: 5 + / -
Shawn: See what I don't get about driving in New York City is what is the point of the horn if you're going to use it nonstop?
yatpay: When I was there it seemed like the horn was mostly used for--
Quote #1665Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: The Army has a video game. How come the Marines don't have a video game?
Phil: Cause we just kill people for real.
Quote #1664Score: 3 + / -
Zoopers: Nugget, this is an awkward question but.. are you also... a--
Quote #1663Score: 3 + / -
[15:39:09] <yatpay> did you ever get your yolkr [a device that sucks the yolk out of an egg]?
[15:39:14] <commander> no
[15:39:21] <commander> there was some kind of manufacturing problem?
[15:39:24] <commander> but i think they resolved it
[15:39:28] <commander> so it should be shipping soon i geuss
[15:39:56] <yatpay> they should combine it with the oculus rift
[15:40:01] <commander> lol
[15:40:01] <yatpay> to make a device that pulls out your eyeballs
[15:40:02] <commander> ...
[15:40:07] <commander> hahahaha
Quote #1662Score: 2 + / -
Brett: I'm sure the regulations on the Minecraft market are not strictly enforced.
Quote #1661Score: 7 + / -
Goran: My only problem with cannibalism is that it usually involves murdering another person.
Quote #1660Score: 2 + / -
[12:00:28] < Waldo> ShowerTime!
[12:00:33] -!- Waldo is now known as WaldoRubberDucky
Quote #1659Score: 7 + / -
14:09:49] < Brett> bot, talk like zoopers about greg
[14:09:50] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[14:09:57] < Topaz> bot, talk like brett about greg
[14:09:57] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[14:09:58] < Brett> bot, talk like zoopers about andy
[14:10:00] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[14:10:05] < Brett> bot, talk like zoopers about katie
[14:10:07] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[14:10:11] < Zoopers> Brett, who the hell are these people
[14:10:21] < Brett> i dunno, i'm trying to find out your secrets
[14:10:25] < Zoopers> hahaha
Quote #1658Score: 5 + / -
[00:53:53] <yatpay> OH SNAP
[00:54:02] <yatpay> a bunch of [oculus rift] orders in the mid 40,000s just got put into processing
[00:55:25] <Topaz> where is yours?
[00:55:28] <yatpay> 54045
[00:55:33] <yatpay> which i feel is a lucky number
[00:55:35] <yatpay> cause it's symmerical
[00:55:36] <yatpay> lol
[00:55:39] <yatpay> symmetrical*
[00:55:39] <Topaz> palindrome*
[00:55:51] <yatpay> yeah, i knew the word, but honestly, here was my mental process:
[00:56:04] <yatpay> "what's the word. palindrome? that sounds like too much effort to remember how to type. i know symmetrical. that's close enough"
[00:56:07] <yatpay> in a flash
[00:56:16] <Topaz> and yet you typed symmerical
[00:56:23] <yatpay> don't judge me
[00:56:30] <Topaz> JUDGING COMPLETE
Quote #1657Score: 1 + / -
Nugget: There are a lot of good looking old people right now..
Quote #1656Score: 4 + / -
Bryce: Which one was that one ["An American Tail", with Fievel, the cartoon mouse]? An American History X?
Quote #1655Score: 3 + / -
[17:34:02] < gogisha> fly me to the moon came on the office radio!
[17:34:27] < gogisha> it is not in its iconic broken japanese however
Quote #1654Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: Ew. I hope this is poster putty I'm playing with and not something else.
Quote #1653Score: 7 + / -
[16:20:05] < Bryce> haha i woke up [in the middle of the night] and was going to buy some games [again], but then i said NO, and ate a hard pretzel instead, that took long enough that i got tired and went back to sleep
Quote #1652Score: 3 + / -
[16:16:27] < Bryce> playing russian roulette and regular roulette at the same time, not a bad way to live
[16:16:50] < Bryce> actually that's a terrible way to live
Quote #1651Score: 4 + / -
Scott: We use mylar in our research cause it's transparent to ultrasound, mostly.
yatpay: Oh cool, what do you research?
Quote #1650Score: 4 + / -
[20:26:07] < VicBond007> 151 and mountain dew is passable as a drink
[20:27:32] < gogisha> lol oh dear
[20:34:31] < Sawboss> haha i got a colt 45 in my lap right now
[20:34:42] < Sawboss> going to be a fun night
[20:35:22] < VicBond007> Sawboss. Scientist by day, hobo by night.
[20:35:34] < VicBond007> I'm not sure which side you get super powers from.
Quote #1649Score: 5 + / -
Zoopers: Imagine how much it cost to get [Andre the Giant] drunk.
yatpay: I would imagine that a lot of people would buy him a drink.
Bryce: In a bar?? If Andre the Giant walked in?? Of course you'd buy him a drink! Especially now.. that he's not alive!
Quote #1648Score: 3 + / -
[11:30:14] <yatpay> shaaaame on you for trying to buy things at gamestop!
[11:30:15] <yatpay> shaaaaaame, haha
[11:30:21] <bryce> i have no shame
[11:30:34] <bryce> i'd sell you to gamestop if i could
Quote #1647Score: 6 + / -
(On internet piracy)
Mom: It's fun when it's... when you don't have to pay for them.
Quote #1646Score: 3 + / -
[23:23:35] < Joshura> Based on the nature of their character, which Muppet would have the highest probable factor of successfully assassinating Hitler?
[23:23:49] < suz> sam the eagle
[23:24:05] < gogisha> suzanne is a patriot to her dying breath
Quote #1645Score: 1 + / -
Scott: Brine shrimp are horrible.... but if you put it on a pizza I might eat it anyway.
Quote #1644Score: 3 + / -
(3:35:00 PM) Tim: why [the service] stops is the questions
(3:35:34 PM) yatpay: yeah
(3:35:38 PM) Tim: well i guess that's only one questions actually
(3:36:05 PM) Tim: why the list service stops respondings precious?
Quote #1643Score: 2 + / -
[22:39:27] <nugget> so I turned the language on my phone into spanish
[22:39:30] <nugget> but it just confuses me
[22:39:41] <nugget> and now I'm trying to figure out how to turn it back
Quote #1642Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: Apparently VVVVVV was voted one of the most accessible PC games for disabled gamers.
yatpay: Yeah.. no precision needed, OK for one handed gamers, OK for deaf gamers, OK for colorblind gamers..
Bryce: Well.. deaf people are really missing out on a great soundtrack. Also, everything else that makes sound in life.
Quote #1641Score: 3 + / -
[11:21:14] < Brett> i think "just pooping and breathing" will be the name of my autobiography
[11:21:21] < Brett> and also the contents
Quote #1640Score: 4 + / -
[19:30:36] <%yatpay> bot, what is suz
[19:30:36] <@codexbot> suz is getting sick of our shit
[19:30:39] <%yatpay> lol
[19:30:47] < Bryce> lol she is only human
[19:30:53] < Bryce> i'd be sick of it too
[19:30:59] < Bryce> but i'm knee deep in it baby
Quote #1639Score: 3 + / -
[15:41:01] <%yatpay> bot, talk like brett about sloth
[15:41:02] <@codexbot> <brett> there goes my coffee break a sloth
[15:41:08] <%yatpay> haha, no time for coffee
[15:41:11] <%yatpay> gotta chase down that sloth
[15:41:49] < Brett> if i saw a sloth
[15:41:57] < Brett> you can bet that i would drop everything to go catch it
[15:42:04] <%yatpay> lmao
[15:42:18] < PandaPook> and that's how Brett gets banned from the zoo
Quote #1638Score: 2 + / -
[10:55:47] <%yatpay> suz is busy keeping people out of her country [in the video game Papers Please]
[10:57:08] < suz> i havent even clicked the link [to the game] yet :<
[10:57:17] <%yatpay> who said anything about a link?
[10:57:22] <%yatpay> i just imagine you're down there at ellis island
[10:57:24] < suz> lol
[10:57:26] <%yatpay> "no! no! get the fuck outta here!!"
[10:57:27] < suz> ellis island is closed
[10:57:30] <%yatpay> good job!
[10:57:32] <%yatpay> that was fast
[10:57:34] < suz> lol
[10:57:35] < Zoopers> XD
Quote #1637Score: 9 + / -
Nate: For the first four years I had [my cat] I didn't know he was deaf, I just thought he was a dick.
Quote #1636Score: 7 + / -
(Via text message)
Brett: Galaxy s3 [first smartphone], arriving on wednesday
yatpay: hey cool. welcome to the modern era. maybe I can actually ge tyou to use twitter now that you can use it properly haha
yatpay: which is to say.. on the toilet
Brett: if twitter is just texting from the toilet, then i'm tweeting right now
Quote #1635Score: 7 + / -
Steve: I have to pick up Megan from work at-- oh shit, what time is it?
Quote #1634Score: 10 + / -
[12:04:51] < gogisha> i prefer to just shatter the jar when i need a pickle
Quote #1633Score: 1 + / -
[18:32:16] <shawn> Anthony Bourdain in response to a question asking if he trained with his wife who does MMO: "I'm 56. What the fuck would the point be? My bones are like a box of stale breadsticks."
[18:33:15] <yatpay> hahaha
[18:33:22] <yatpay> did you mean.. MMA?
[18:33:26] <shawn> lol
Quote #1632Score: 1 + / -
[15:00:43] < PandaPook> woah..... I missed something here ^ O_o
[15:01:10] <%yatpay> people always make that little sign to point up. you know, i don't assume you mean conversation that's coming up later, lol
[15:01:16] <%yatpay> whoa, that is some fucked up shit, V
[15:01:23] <%yatpay> and what's up with that guy? <--
[15:01:45] < PandaPook> all the arrows
[15:02:07] < gogisha> lol
[15:02:26] < Zoopers> Deleted line from V for Vendetta
[15:02:36] <%yatpay> hahaha
[15:02:39] < PandaPook> lolol
Quote #1631Score: 2 + / -
[11:20:31] < Zoopers> I still really want our first contact with aliens to be two rovers awkwardly bumping into one another.
Quote #1630Score: 1 + / -
[22:44] Amanda: oh we need a bigger collander
[22:44] Amanda: cuz my huge one died
[22:45] Vic: I have...a bowl with holes
[22:45] Vic: If that's what you mean
[22:45] Amanda: yes that's a collander
Quote #1629Score: 3 + / -
[16:16:15] < wacko> print_a_line("lol");
[16:16:18] <%yatpay> lol
[16:16:21] <%yatpay> oh no
[16:16:22] < wacko> hey it worked
Quote #1628Score: 4 + / -
[10:24:23] < Zoopers> People go to Connecticut on purpose?
Quote #1627Score: 1 + / -
Bryce: There's weird screaming going on in my neighborhood..
yatpay: That seems.. concerning.
Bryce: Maybe it was a bird.
Quote #1626Score: 5 + / -
Phil: If I were Bill Gates I would hire people to send all sorts of useless crap up [into space].
yatpay: Like what?"
Phil: I dunno. Vending machines. And I would force them to bring me there once a year to collect the money that isn't there.
Quote #1625Score: 1 + / -
[10:26:21] < Zoopers> Yatpay, the Byzantine podcast gave me an idea for a sweet science fiction plot
[10:27:35] <%yatpay> oh?
[10:28:27] < Zoopers> Ya. If on our way to the singularity, we created an actual, virtual afterlife where consciousness continues beyond physical death.
[10:28:38] < Zoopers> But . . . DUN DUN it's controlled by the government.
[10:29:34] < gogisha> lol
[10:29:45] < gogisha> i wish that all of zoopers' ideas
[10:29:46] < gogisha> ended with
[10:29:53] < gogisha> "But . . . DUN DUN it's controlled by the government"
Quote #1624Score: 8 + / -
[16:22:58] < suz> part of coming to #ponyville [our IRC chat]
[16:23:00] < suz> involves
[16:23:03] < suz> learning everything there is to know
[16:23:04] < suz> about space
[16:23:06] < suz> from jp
Quote #1623Score: 7 + / -
[01:07:02] <nugget> I showed up to my gym and it was gone
Quote #1622Score: 1 + / -
[13:26:18] < Zoopers> I can recommend you some very good hearing aids. ;-)
[13:30:52] < Sawboss> quit winking you creep
Quote #1621Score: 1 + / -
(While watching Armageddon, someone cracks a plastic case containing nuclear launch codes)
yatpay: I've always wanted one of those things you crack open to get the code inside..
Topaz: You mean a fortune cookie?
Quote #1620Score: 3 + / -
[11:48:42] < Topaz> for more information, press 1
[11:48:46] < Topaz> for a punch in the face, press 2
[11:48:55] < suz> 2
[11:48:58] -!- ServerMode/#ponyville [+o Topaz] by ganymede
[11:49:01] -!- suz was kicked from #ponyville by Topaz [suz]
[11:49:03] <%yatpay> LMAO
Quote #1619Score: 4 + / -
[18:20:32] < VicBond007> someone sent me a guitar pick in the mail today
[18:20:42] < VicBond007> no return address, no note, just envelope with a guitar pick
[18:20:49] < VicBond007> I don't own a real guitar
[18:23:31] < Sawboss> haha
[18:23:45] < Sawboss> it is a sign
[18:23:56] < Sawboss> you must learn to play
Quote #1618Score: 2 + / -
[22:18:35] < Zoopers> 2/3 through pasta-pocalypse
[22:18:37] < Zoopers> agggh
[22:19:48] <%yatpay> lol, what is pasta-pocalypse
[22:54:00] < Zoopers> It's me making a shit-ton of pasta
[23:02:39] <%yatpay> why so much pasta?
[23:02:52] < Zoopers> It makes an excellent "I have no idea wtf to give you" present
[23:04:20] < Zoopers> As well as a "this other gift feels a little half-assed so here's fancy pasta"
[23:04:41] <%yatpay> haha
[23:05:09] < Zoopers> Dad? Booze and fancy pasta.
[23:05:16] < Zoopers> Mom? Sweater and fancy pasta
[23:05:56] < Zoopers> Me? Bought myself scotch 'cuz fuck I'm sick of making fancy pasta.
Quote #1617Score: 4 + / -
[23:31:24] < Jules> brb eatin craynns
[23:32:36] < Amanda> NO MY CRAYONS
[23:32:37] < Amanda> :O
Quote #1616Score: 2 + / -
Bryce: Brett if I win the lottery I'm going to buy you an iPad mini so you can play Hero Academy with me.
yatpay: Why an iPad mini?? Why not a normal iPad?
Bryce: I don't want to spend that much.
Quote #1615Score: 11 + / -
[21:45:10] < Omar> I've got a 2007 Elk Run Sweet Catherine red wine
[21:46:07] < Omar> The 2009 vintage was better though the use of foam-based "corks" may have effected the overall mouth feel. Slightly more acidity in the 2007 than the 2009.
[21:46:11] < Omar> mmmm, wine snob.
[21:48:40] < Bryce> i got a diet coke at mcdonalds…i put rum in it
Quote #1614Score: 3 + / -
[13:26:19] < Bryce> When my hands are cold I stick them on the dog's armpits, she not a fan
Quote #1613Score: 3 + / -
[15:58:03] < Zoopers> bot, what is pandapook
[15:58:03] <@codexbot> pandapook is old
[15:58:06] < PandaPook> :(
[15:58:12] < PandaPook> ./cry
[15:58:18] < Zoopers> bot, pandapook is really old.
[15:58:18] <@codexbot> Zoopers: got it. (pandapook used to be old)
[15:58:28] < PandaPook> ~sad~
[15:58:52] < Zoopers> Bot, pandapook is dead.
[15:58:52] <@codexbot> Zoopers: got it. (pandapook used to be really old)
[15:59:04] < Zoopers> Bot, pandapook is a zombie.
[15:59:04] <@codexbot> Zoopers: got it. (pandapook used to be dead)
Quote #1612Score: 2 + / -
[23:53:55] < Liz> they need to open a karaoke joint where it's nothing but 80s
[23:54:32] < VicBond007> they have that
[23:54:33] < VicBond007> it's called
[23:54:35] < VicBond007> karaoke
Quote #1611Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: Bryce, you sound pretty chipper today. What've you been up to?
Quote #1610Score: 6 + / -
[18:20:33] < VicBond007> ermhegerd I am so behind T_T
[18:21:37] < Bryce> i had to google that to figure out what the hell you just said
Quote #1609Score: 2 + / -
(While watching the Romney vs Obama debate)
[21:43:02] <commander> ugh he's such a dickbag
21:43:07] <commander> i just want to punch his stupid face
[21:43:15] <yatpay> lol, a nuanced position
[21:43:21] <commander> lol
Quote #1608Score: 11 + / -
(Via text message)
Vicbond: Oh man, someone threw out a fog machine
Vicbond: Can't see shit
Quote #1607Score: 3 + / -
[19:21:05] <shawn> Most recent book purchase [Link to book "Nonsense of Free Will"]
[19:21:47] <yatpay> the idea that there's no free will scares me. so i actively avoid thinking about it. just like the chemicals in my brain determined i have to
[19:22:07] <shawn> lol if I deem it quote worthy can you put it on your page?
[19:22:25] <yatpay> ha, sure. one sec
Quote #1606Score: 4 + / -
[17:00:35] <%yatpay> is [the Nintendo office in New York] where they keep the secret real life pokemon?
[17:03:08] < Zoopers> No, Yatpay. That's the zoo.
[17:03:11] < Zoopers> We've been over this.
Quote #1605Score: 3 + / -
Brett: why were you up at 4?
yatpay: to watch the dragon [spacecraft] grapple and berthing
Brett: getting sleepy. i have never seen a dragon berthing. or grappling
yatpay: berthing is like docking but the vehicle is passive
Brett: docking passively is my favorite.
Quote #1604Score: 1 + / -
[16:23:46] < Zoopers> bot, talk like brett about dead
[16:23:46] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[16:23:51] < Zoopers> bot, talk like brett about life
[16:23:51] <@codexbot> That user doesn't talk about that!
[16:24:00] < Zoopers> Brett is . . . enlightened.
Quote #1603Score: 11 + / -
(10:58:44 AM) yatpay: Friday at 2:00: The U.S. Navy "Leap Frogs" - an elite parachute team that often numbers 14 members - will jump from planes at about 12,500 feet at 2 p.m., landing in a spot in the Canalside/Central Wharf area. Free and open to spectators.
(10:59:03 AM) shawn: Interesting
(10:59:17 AM) shawn: Also known as terrifying for people with paranoid shizophrenia
(10:59:39 AM) shawn: Then again I guess most things are terrifying to paranoid shizophrenics
Quote #1602Score: 2 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: I hate probability. It makes my head hurt.
Chris: How sure are you about that?
Quote #1601Score: 4 + / -
Canz: Whenever I have a git merge conflict, I just choose the top one.
Quote #1600Score: 5 + / -
[15:36:21] < gogisha> i think if i ever meet any of you guys in real life i'd freak
[15:36:28] < PandaPook> why? :o
[15:36:51] < suz> you've met jp <_<
[15:36:58] < gogisha> lol yeah and it was weird then too
[15:37:06] < Zoopers> Yeah, but he's weird.
[15:37:08] < gogisha> seeing the internet become real is weird
[15:37:10] < suz> lol
[15:37:21] < gogisha> lol it wasn't yatpay's fault that i was weirded out!
[15:37:37] < Zoopers> Nah, I've known him for years and I'm always weirded out.
[15:37:54] < gogisha> lol
[15:37:57] < Zoopers> I wake up in the morning and shiver.
[15:38:03] < Zoopers> Just thinkin' about him
Quote #1599Score: 4 + / -
[14:42:36] <yatpay> you should hang out in #ponyville too
[14:43:36] <goran> lol ponyville is not real jp
Quote #1598Score: 9 + / -
[23:01:50] < VicBond007> there was a word for an aggressive spooner. I forgot it.
[23:01:58] < PandaPook> rape
Quote #1597Score: 6 + / -
[22:19:19] < VicBond007> This is how I feel when we have an AMV Dept. meeting: [Link to image]
Quote #1596Score: 3 + / -
Phil: I'm gonna make an iPad or iPhone app called "DNA Scan" that has you prick your finger and put a drop of blood in your headphone jack.. and totally ruin their iPhone.
Quote #1595Score: 4 + / -
(3:20:58 PM) yatpay: when the package came i had completely forgotten about it. and was like "well.. it's a little light for a bomb.. and a little heavy for anthrax.. probably fine."
(3:22:00 PM) Topaz: hahaha
(3:22:06 PM) Topaz: i'm totally sending you anthrax and a rock
(3:22:10 PM) yatpay: D:
Quote #1594Score: 3 + / -
(Shawn was tossing a marker up and down and missed it, dropping it to the ground)
[14:22:20] <yatpay> your hand-eye coordination is bad and you should feel bad!
[14:22:38] <shawn> kik
Quote #1593Score: 4 + / -
(In general chat at work)
(2:34:35 PM) yatpay: have you guys seen this image of Curiosity's heat shield falling off? [Link to image of MSL heatshield]
(2:35:19 PM) amirabella: yatpay: yes, it is awesome! can't wait for the hires video from MARDI
(2:35:57 PM) mfrank: My car has pieces falling off it all the time, but nobody seems impressed by it.
Quote #1592Score: 3 + / -
Quote #1591Score: 6 + / -
[15:49:43] < commander> what if i told you that
[15:49:45] < commander> white castle
[15:49:49] < commander> is in atlantis
[15:49:51] < commander> and their cheeseburgers
[15:49:55] < commander> are made out of sea monsters
Quote #1590Score: 3 + / -
[12:22:04] < Zoopers> My brain's moment of the day: "Oh no! Why is there a woman's underwear on my floor? Oh, right. I live with one."
Quote #1589Score: 7 + / -
Shawn: When I was in high school there was a shooting range across the street. Well.. not so much a shooting range as.. this guy had a lot of property.
Quote #1588Score: 3 + / -
[18:40:40] <%yatpay> i got a big heavy package full of maps from the USGS today
[18:41:56] < VicBond007> google gives those out for free
[18:42:30] <%yatpay> these aren't normal maps. plus, i can't put google on the wall
[18:42:49] <%yatpay> this is stuff like various regions of Mars, the Moon.. etc.
[18:43:50] < VicBond007> yeah, I guess we don't have google Mars yet
[18:44:05] -!- beany-pie [~email@example.com] has joined #ponyville
[18:44:13] < VicBond007> speaking of martians
Quote #1587Score: 3 + / -
[16:47:07] < Beany> when is otakon?
[16:47:11] < Beany> this weekend?
[16:47:15] < Beany> next weekend?
[16:47:34] < Zoopers> Beany, Beany, Beany.
[16:47:37] < Zoopers> Don't you see?
[16:47:45] < Zoopers> Otakon was inside you the whole time.
[16:48:02] < Beany> D:
[16:48:11] < Beany> that is why i have been so bloated!
Quote #1586Score: 12 + / -
[15:43:43] <yatpay> so how is south carolina?
[15:43:46] <commander> hot
[15:43:55] <yatpay> did your air conditioner secede?
[15:44:00] <commander> :|
Quote #1585Score: 6 + / -
[23:34:08] < VicBond007> oh man, finally I can rest
[23:34:18] < VicBond007> I've been hunting a goddamn centipede for the last hour
[23:34:25] <%yatpay> lmao
[23:34:32] < VicBond007> Another hour and I'd be sleeping in the car
Quote #1584Score: 2 + / -
[20:16:48] < beany> When i first met dan he told me his middle name was Raoul and I believed him for a couple days...
[20:17:29] < beany> And dad told me his middle name was Tobias when I was wee and I believed him for a couple years until I saw his name on mail...
[20:17:36] < beany> Why would they do this?!
[20:18:23] < beany> Grr
[20:20:43] < beany> Also few up thinking my Gramma and grampa's names were both Bill
[20:21:15] <%yatpay> my full name is actually John Patrick Tobias Burke. named after my grandfather
[20:21:53] < beany> Oooh fancy!
[20:22:07] <%yatpay> lol, no i lied.
[20:22:16] < beany> U ass
[20:22:20] <%yatpay> hahahahahaha
Quote #1582Score: 2 + / -
[22:06:55] < VicBond007> In my reality, Jesus and Rita Repulsa are one and the same
[22:06:58] < VicBond007> It's complicated
[22:07:08] < VicBond007> But 2,000 years away from home does that to a man
[22:07:31] < PandaPook> the fuck did I come back to?
[22:08:02] < VicBond007> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE
Quote #1581Score: 13 + / -
Bryce: You guys want a soda?
Brett and JP: Sure.
Bryce: *Hands out soda cans* ...I dropped one of these but don't know which one.
Brett: and JP: Haha, alright..
Bryce: ... *opens soda which explodes all over him*
Quote #1580Score: 4 + / -
[23:41:38] <commander> i barely remember visiting you [at Clark]
[23:41:53] <yatpay> i'm looking for the pictures, haha
[23:41:58] <commander> lol
[23:42:03] <commander> i was about to say
[23:42:07] <commander> you took pictures during that trip?
[23:42:09] <commander> and then i remembered
[23:42:11] <commander> who you are
Quote #1579Score: 14 + / -
[22:23:16] < Beany> i hate those farts where you gamble and you arent entirely sure you won....
[22:23:25] < VicBond007> what the fuck Beany
[22:23:27] < VicBond007> what the fuck
Quote #1578Score: 9 + / -
Phil: You guys ever turn your head so far around that your eyes start to go black?
Quote #1577Score: 3 + / -
Tony: I'm not sure how I feel about that metaphor.
yatpay: I think technically it's a simile since it uses "like", Mr. English Major!
Tony: Technically a simile is a subset of a metaphor..
yatpay: Technically "Tony" is a subset of "douchebag"!
Tony: I ain't even mad .
Quote #1575Score: 7 + / -
[10:52:19] < tony> I am slow today. I was looking for "blank dice" on thingiverse.
[10:52:43] < tony> Then I realized that's called a "cube" and is the starting shape in like, every 3d program ever.
Quote #1574Score: 4 + / -
[17:57:48] <@yatpay> so, here's my strange habit of the day. whenever i see a plane flying strangely, i make a note of my location and the time in case i have to give a report to the NTSB
[17:58:17] < VicBond007> Here's my strange habit: Fly planes strangely around JP's office.
Quote #1573Score: 8 + / -
(Via text message)
Chris: Do I go for the PhD, or settle for the masters?
yatpay: i think if you don't go for it, it'll start gnawing at the back of your mind before long and you'll have to go for it anyway
Chris: So, you think I should treat it like a relationship?
yatpay: lol, i'm not sure what kind of relationships you've been in...... but i hope there isn't much gnawing involved
Chris: I date raccoons.
yatpay: the important thing is that you're happy
Chris: No - the important thing is that I remember to put a lid on the trash can.
Quote #1572Score: 6 + / -
[16:10:47] < VicBond007> [link to Neil Armstrong's corvette on eBay]
[16:10:50] < VicBond007> JP buy it
[16:15:05] < VicBond007> Take your cat with you
[16:15:16] < VicBond007> be like "FINALLY YOU FOUND HIS CAR now give it back"
[16:15:23] <%yatpay> armstrong hates this shit
[16:15:29] <%yatpay> like when that fucking creepy barber sold his hair on ebay
[16:19:16] < VicBond007> If someone paid money for MY hair, my new job would be shaving.
Quote #1571Score: 2 + / -
(Via text message. Bryce just finished finals)
Bryce: Thank you thank you...it is now my intention to sit in the couch in my underwear, a mug of underwear, and play kingdoms of Amalur
Bryce: I mean a mug of coffee
Quote #1570Score: 5 + / -
Brett: So.. I just bought this game [on Steam]... and I have no idea what credit card it was on.
Brett: It was just like "you want to buy this game?" and I said "Yeah, buy the game" and they said "thanks for buying the game!" and I said "Oh! .. you're welcome."
Quote #1569Score: 8 + / -
Phil: Just signed up for orienteering [class]. ...how do I get there?
Quote #1568Score: 5 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: I'm gong to this old retro game mom and pop store
Bryce: Retro game junkie lol
Bryce: Well mom and pop sounds weird....cool older nerd and his very tolerant wife I feel
Quote #1567Score: 6 + / -
(14:40:56) yatpay: how old is [your son] now? i totally forget when that happened
(14:41:16) Matt: ~20 months
(14:41:21) yatpay: wowee, time flies
(14:41:53) yatpay: i'm coming up on 316 months
(14:42:27) Matt: im sure he'll catch up with you
(14:42:48) yatpay: ... was that a death threat?
Quote #1566Score: 14 + / -
yatpay: I'm reading this JFK book..
Brett: The adult one?
Brett: What'd you say?
yatpay: I'm reading this JFK book.
Brett: Isn't she writing a book for adults? Not Harry Potter?
yatpay: I'm talking about JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY the PRESIDENT, not JK ROWLING you idiot!
Brett: .......I don't know how I made that mistake.
Quote #1565Score: 7 + / -
Steve: JP! Take a picture of this [diagram on a piece of paper] and email it to me.
yatpay: Don't you have a cameraphone?
yatpay: *mutters* .. I should send you a picture of my ass..
Steve: I think if you did that I wouldn't even be mad. I'd just have to say "good job"
Quote #1564Score: 6 + / -
Pooja: So how does User Manager tie into the integration portal?
Matt: What's the integration portal?
Pooja: I don't know.
Quote #1563Score: 1 + / -
(17:04:59) Matt: i throw out random ideas until one makes me look good
Quote #1562Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: You know how to look at specific people on my quotes page, right?
yatpay: You change the URL to have "order=name" and "name=Whoever"
Steve: Name equals "DROP TABLE"
Quote #1561Score: 7 + / -
Steve: I'm waiting for the package to get moved to the yum repository.
Phil: That's what she said.
Quote #1560Score: 3 + / -
[17:07:46] -!- VicBond007 has joined #ponyville
[17:11:02] < Jules> yes!
[17:11:43] < VicBond007> no!
[17:11:52] < Jules> YES!
[17:11:57] < Amanda> fine no sexy dresses for you then Vic!
[17:12:14] < VicBond007> Yes!
Quote #1559Score: 1 + / -
Phil: That's why I don't leave my house, Steve. Not because I don't want to leave my house, but because I don't want to get arrested.
Quote #1558Score: 3 + / -
[19:29:11] <Lingly> Look. If you're going to make a brothel, you want to make it indestructible.
Quote #1557Score: 3 + / -
(Amanda caught a stomach flu on March 16)
[21:07:17] < Amanda> sooo i call what i have the Icks of March
Quote #1556Score: 8 + / -
[18:44:38] < Julia> sending sean to the booze store is like.....sending someone who doesn't know about booze to the booze store. which...isn't really an analogy
Quote #1555Score: 9 + / -
yatpay: There's a place in Massachusetts offering free pizza if you get a vasectomy.
Phil: Fuck it, I'll get one. I don't want kids.
Shawn: You can always reverse it.
Phil: Really? How much is it each way? I want a round trip.
Quote #1553Score: 4 + / -
[15:21] commander: why dont any of your testers have google accounts
[15:21] commander: everyone is anonymous
[15:21] Josh: lol
[15:21] Josh: they're european!
[15:21] commander: gross
[15:21] commander: do they have like
[15:21] commander: gougle
[15:22] Josh: im trying to think of a snarky response but i cant stop laughing
Quote #1552Score: 9 + / -
[22:06:05] < VicBond007> though I'm not a big jack and coke guy
[22:06:15] < VicBond007> I just order it so I don't look like a homo
Quote #1551Score: 4 + / -
[00:36:04] < VicBond007> All I got for Christmas was cornbread and whiskey.
[00:36:23] < VicBond007> So
[00:36:25] < VicBond007> breakfast
Quote #1550Score: 4 + / -
[22:58:26] <@yatpay> i was listening to an NPR story this morning about new horses being bred for racing
[22:58:30] <@yatpay> and had to turn it off cause it was too weird
[22:58:41] <@yatpay> talking about mares and foals and colts and shit
[22:58:53] < VicBond007> JP
[22:58:56] < VicBond007> I know this is weird
[22:58:57] < VicBond007> but horses
[22:58:59] < VicBond007> are real
[22:59:12] < VicBond007> I hope you were sitting down for that
[22:59:20] <@yatpay> lol
[22:59:28] < PandaPook> ~floor..... laughing~
Quote #1549Score: 37 + / -
yatpay: Here's your dollar back
Matt: Sweet, my hooker dollar
Steve: That's a pretty shitty hooker
Shawn: She makes you suck her dick
Quote #1548Score: 3 + / -
[23:49:42] <beager> if canada had a god, poutine would be its eucharist
[23:49:50] <beager> but canada is godless, so it's just poutine
Quote #1547Score: 2 + / -
[15:29:20] <brian> there should be a day where no one has to work
[15:29:27] <brian> universally
[15:29:38] <brian> even if it means that some people will die
[15:32:24] <yatpay> how many people should be allowed to die?
[15:33:36] <brian> as many as it takes for everyone to be free
Quote #1545Score: 8 + / -
Phil: I was looking at this headline and it said "Child burned on playground" and I was like.. like a sacrifice? This country is going down the shitter!
Quote #1544Score: 9 + / -
Brett: I was a dumb kid. And I grew into a dumb adult.
Quote #1543Score: 14 + / -
(16:36:59) Beager: curse you heathen meat eating infidels
(16:37:22) Beager: you who bathe in worcestershire and worship the weber grill
(16:37:54) Beager: may fields of soybeans consume your young and may you be judged harshly by the All-Seeing Tofurkey
(16:44:53) Matt: IN WEBER GRILL WE TRUST
(16:46:36) Matt: Our Weber, who art on patio, hallowed be thy brand; thy grilling come; thy will be done on gas as it is in charcoal.
(16:49:15) Matt: give us this day our daily steak, and forgive us our burnt burgers as we forgave those who burn chicken; and lead us not into grease fires, but deliver us from vegans
(16:50:57) Matt: For thine is the grill, and the steamer, and the smore cooker, for ever. Amen.
(16:51:40) Shawn: lol, quality
(16:51:44) Phil: approved
(16:56:53) Beager: oh yeah? welll… uhhh
(16:57:20) Beager: TOFU BE PRAISED
(16:57:27) Beager: ALLAH SNAKBAR
Quote #1542Score: 1 + / -
[17:37:33] < PandaPook> muahahaha, i brewed things [in Minecraft]
[17:38:12] < VicBond007> beer?
[17:38:21] < PandaPook> speed potion, and fire resist potion
[17:38:54] < VicBond007> so
[17:38:56] < VicBond007> Four Loko
[17:39:06] < PandaPook> ......
Quote #1541Score: 3 + / -
[17:31:39] < VicBond007> I got the replacement part for my case
[17:31:46] < VicBond007> Which is weird 'cuz I never gave them my address...
Quote #1539Score: 10 + / -
[15:23:12] <@yatpay> studies show that even if you do exercise, being sedentary all day is very bad for you
[15:23:15] <@yatpay> as bad as smoking
[15:25:14] < gogisha> that probably explains why i have lung cancer
Quote #1538Score: 4 + / -
[22:32:31] <tony> Mead success!
[22:32:36] <yatpay> awesome
[22:32:51] <tony> Incidentally, siphoning when you don't know what you're doing is a good way to get drunk pretty quick!
Quote #1537Score: 1 + / -
[22:01:38] < Beany> haha i never made it onto quote page before!
[22:02:19] < VicBond007> The trick is
[22:02:21] < VicBond007> say funny shit
Quote #1536Score: 2 + / -
[21:55:10] < Beany> ew upstairs has boyfriend over
[21:55:16] < Beany> i think they are gonna rub on eachother
[21:55:25] < Beany> >.>
[21:56:24] < VicBond007> Usually there's more involved than that >.>
[21:57:15] <@yatpay> when a man and a lady rub each other very much..
[21:58:20] < VicBond007> booooooo
Quote #1535Score: 6 + / -
Phil: You know what idea I had for a website the other day.. well, yesterday... while I was drunk.
Quote #1534Score: 3 + / -
[10:23:58] <tony> The group really liked my suggestion that when we accidentally kill a parent node but not the children, we call it a "Batman node."
Quote #1533Score: 2 + / -
[16:53:51] <yatpay> human vision is strange. out of the corner of my eye i could've sworn you were wearing a fedora
[16:53:59] <shawn> the fuck?
[16:54:04] <yatpay> FEDORA
[16:54:32] <shawn> THE FUCK?
Quote #1532Score: 2 + / -
[14:34:18] <tony> Watching someone else kill all the people I hate is a bit like watching someone else eat your birthday cake
Quote #1531Score: 5 + / -
(Talking about the vehicle he drove while in Iraq)
yatpay: Oh, was it one of those ones with the V bottom to deflect bombs?
Phil. Nah, it had a flat bottom. It SUCKED for bombs, haha.
Quote #1530Score: 3 + / -
Phil: If I went to Tops and they had cat meat.. I would eat the shit out of it.
Quote #1529Score: 3 + / -
[17:07] Amanda: :( i just lost everything in lava T_T
[17:13] Vic: what'd I tell you about lava!
[17:13] Vic: Nothing but trouble!
Quote #1528Score: 2 + / -
(Talking about choice in games)
[14:16:07] <yatpay> but if your choices have no impact, what's the point of even having them? why not just watch a movie?
[14:16:22] <bryce> cause i like pushing buttons
Quote #1527Score: 2 + / -
(11:43:17) yatpay: lol, no one likes my pun: [Link to meme]
(11:46:59) Beager: probably because it should say "Juno / there's a probe going to Jupiter?"
(11:47:22) yatpay: i fail at memes :(
(11:49:15) Beager: well it was a good joke about jupiter, so Io you that much at least
(11:49:56) yatpay: lol, BOOOOOOO