Welcome to the quotes page. When people say funny things, I write them down. I started doing this some time in 2003 and the collection has been steadily growing ever since. Around 2006 I introduced the voting system. If you like a quote, click the up arrow, if you don't like it, click the down arrow. That's it! Enjoy!
Quote #1526Score: 5 + / -
[23:43:51] <chris> i'm thinking about starting a blog
[23:44:13] <yatpay> Blue Label and Blue Shift?
[23:44:26] <chris> i love it when you talk dirty
[23:44:30] <yatpay> >_>
Quote #1525Score: 9 + / -
Vic: *Burrrrrp* ... when did I have Chinese food?
Quote #1524Score: 18 + / -
(Email from Shawn to our group at work)
I've been stricken with zombie flu and won't be in today. If you see me at work today remember to shoot for the head, it's the only way.
Quote #1523Score: 7 + / -
(14:55:24) yatpay: oh man, i just got a double long wheat thin
(14:55:28) Beager: ME TOO
(14:55:41) Beager: WE'RE WHEAT TWINS
Quote #1522Score: 2 + / -
[14:28:48] <yatpay> what is the best pie
[14:28:55] <yatpay> false. the correct answer is lemon meringue
[14:29:10] <commander> i didnt even say
[14:29:16] <yatpay> doesn't matter
[14:29:19] <commander> :|
Quote #1521Score: 2 + / -
(Shawn is at a CMS sync)
[22:28:31] <shawn> If shit breaks during the sync my course of action will be this [link to image] because I haven't touched the CMS in ages
Quote #1520Score: 3 + / -
[10:27:55] <shawn> it was a picture of Eminem eating eminems
[10:28:00] <shawn> errr M&Ms
[10:28:02] <shawn> lol
[10:28:03] <yatpay> >_>
Quote #1519Score: 8 + / -
(16:30:01) Beager: i have another theory about [My Little Pony]
(16:30:46) Beager: it's secretly being funded by al-qaeda to discredit the character of americans
(16:31:07) yatpay: yeah, cause the ponies clearly display qualities that would tear this country apart :P
(16:31:23) yatpay: like friendship, honesty, laughter, loyalty, generosity, kindness..
(16:31:31) yatpay: well ok, you might have me with magic
(16:32:31) Beager: friendship paints us as soft
(16:32:38) yatpay: oh this is going to be good
(16:35:30) Beager: we'd be soft on them if they attacked us
(16:35:41) Beager: honesty means they can deceive us, we're easily deceived
(16:35:52) Beager: laughter means we don't take the arab world seriously
(16:36:05) Beager: we mock them openly with our pony worship and our Gays On Television
(16:36:24) Beager: loyalty, we are loyal to Israel and all of Her matzoh maidens
(16:36:39) Beager: Generosity also in that we give trillions of pesos to Israel every year
(16:37:27) Beager: and kindness, that we are kind to adulturers and the wicked, yet we cheer the spilling of the blood of Muammar Gadhafi the Fabulous
(16:38:01) Beager: al-qaeda will infiltrate the U.S. inside the butt of a gigantic wooden Twilight Sparkle
(16:38:12) Beager: and will reign holy death upon this traitor nation
(16:38:21) Beager: and now i'm on every watch list in the US, yaaaaaayyyy
Quote #1518Score: 12 + / -
(Testing some programming code)
Shawn: Step one.. hey! It didn't explode! Step two.. OH NOOO!!
Quote #1517Score: 2 + / -
[22:17:47] [Link to image of cute animal]
[22:18:00] <yatpay> hahahahaha, is that a seal??
[22:18:04] <shawn> polar bear
[22:18:12] <shawn> polar opposite (pun intended)
Quote #1515Score: 7 + / -
[20:03:29] <yatpay> i started an unattended fire in my kitchen yesterday
[20:03:56] <shawn> that could mean anything between my stove is on to my apartment is on
Quote #1514Score: 3 + / -
Bryce: Alright guys, I'm gonna go for a bit. I'm going to say hi to Alicia. .... Oh. Guys. Alicia says.. "I'm not requesting that." Well she's getting that, here I come! *click*
Quote #1513Score: 2 + / -
Bryce: I'll tell you this. You want me to mute you in Call of Duty? All you gotta do is talk. Boom. Done. Doesn't matter what you say. I don't need 15 year-olds telling me I suck!
Quote #1512Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: What's the major city of South Carolina?
James: None?
Quote #1511Score: 7 + / -
John Kav: JP you should make a Brony branded product.
yatpay: I'm pretty sure that would be copyright infringement.
Beager: No, it'd be.. CLOPYRIGHT infringement!
yatpay: ...I'm really mad I'm adding this [to the quotes page]
Beager: Bahahaha
Quote #1510Score: 3 + / -
Dad: [My friend] was over the other day, and wanted some.. what's that purple stuff.. you put it on toast?
yatpay: ...jam?
Dad: Yeah! Jam!
yatpay: ..
Quote #1509Score: 8 + / -
Pooja: Cats.. reproduce in bulk right?
Quote #1508Score: 4 + / -
Beager: JP, how long does it take to get to the moon?
yatpay: Using what?
Beager: False. Space isn't real.
Quote #1507Score: 2 + / -
John Kav: The Sky Crane? Sounds like something out of the Kama Sutra.
Quote #1506Score: 8 + / -
(Via text message)
Topaz: LETS... FIND OUT!
Quote #1505Score: 3 + / -
Colin: Bryce, have you ever seen Toy Story 3?
Bryce: No.
Colin: Bryce didn't like it either.
Quote #1503Score: 3 + / -
[23:41:14] <yatpay> this year [Mel's Dad] supposedly [carved a pumpkin of] his cat: [Link to picture of Mo]
[23:41:17] <yatpay> but i haven't seen it yet
[23:42:03] <commander> hahaha
[23:42:07] <commander> that cat was made to be a pumpkin
Quote #1502Score: 6 + / -
[21:37:53] <yatpay> [Link to image]
[21:38:26] <clark_james> i wonder if he ever came back
[21:38:44] <yatpay> lmao
Quote #1501Score: 15 + / -
yatpay: Hey John!
John Kav: ..
(Simultaneously) Both: Space!!
yatpay: Alright, let's not do that again..
Quote #1500Score: 4 + / -
Phil: [If I were falling out of an airplane] I'd try to take off all my clothes. Make 'em guess.
Quote #1499Score: 3 + / -
[17:06:46] <bryce> man being a student has issues i did not prepare for...i have to actively remember to shower
[17:06:49] <bryce> it not part of routine lol
Quote #1498Score: 5 + / -
[16:37:10] <yatpay> with your hearing aids, can you hear enough of a show to get the general tone of someone's voice?
[16:37:22] <sierra> no
[16:37:27] <sierra> I can't even tell if htey're male or female, usually
[16:37:33] <sierra> just that someone's talking, maybe.
[16:37:38] <yatpay> weird. what do they let you hear then?
[16:37:45] <sierra> explosions.
Quote #1496Score: 1 + / -
[16:19:41] <mel> I was just reading an article about the Mario games
[16:20:02] <mel> And when they referred to "POW" blocks, I automatically read that as "Prisoner of War" blocks
[16:20:04] <mel> Very different
Quote #1495Score: 2 + / -
(Discussing how to hack into my website to change quote scores)
Canz: You know what the really easy way to do it is? Just punch you in the face and take your laptop.
yatpay: Ha, yeah, I'm already logged into the MySQL console.
Canz: "Hey, what happened to your face?" "I got hacked!"
Quote #1494Score: 4 + / -
(Brett texted me the day after Steve Jobs died)
Brett: steve jobs is dead?!
yatpay: lol, you're like slowbro. someone posted a picture of slowbro going "RIP Steve Irwin"
Brett: slowbro is dead?!
Quote #1493Score: 3 + / -
[13:57:23] <yatpay> [Link to a video of a surgeon peeling a grape using a sophisticated robot]
[13:57:26] <yatpay> the future is now!
[13:58:34] <nugget> in the future we won't have to peel our own grapes
[13:58:40] <nugget> robots will do it for us
Quote #1492Score: 10 + / -
[15:37:09] <yatpay> i'm pretty sure Dash is about 20% cooler than Dart
[15:38:18] <shawn> shawn rolls for initiative. Roll = 24, Goal = 12. Roll successful. Shawn dodges the pony reference.
Quote #1491Score: 6 + / -
(16:14:39) yatpay: [visiting Chernobyl is perfectly safe] provided you stay in the known safe areas, don't touch moss, don't walk into the grass, etc
(16:14:43) Beager: haha
(16:14:51) Beager: you can touch the moss and grass in new mexico though!
(16:14:54) yatpay: lol, yeah
(16:14:56) yatpay: don't touch it in chernobyl!!
(16:15:01) Beager: listen
(16:15:11) Beager: if i can't get my daily frolic in, I'm not a happy camper
(16:16:44) Beager: radioactive gas pockets that have been sitting there for 25 years
(16:16:51) Beager: are you talking about chernobyl or a lan party
Quote #1490Score: 7 + / -
[22:31:44] <yatpay> fun fact: door knobs were not invented until 1878
[22:32:29] <vicbond> Fun Fact: Prior to 1878, "doors" were called "holes".
Quote #1489Score: 4 + / -
[15:15:03] <mel> I was trying to call Raz at *our* home, forgetting that when I hit speed dial for "Raz Home" on my phone it actually calls his *parents*
[15:15:29] <mel> And without realizing, I left a message for Raz on their answering machine which starts "You're probably pooping..."
Quote #1488Score: 5 + / -
[10:30:28] <commander> did you watch arrested development
[10:30:56] <yatpay> funniest show ever made
[10:31:08] <commander> i may be going to see the entire cast at a panel in 2 weeks :D
[10:31:13] <yatpay> wowee
[10:31:14] <yatpay> very cool
[10:31:17] <commander> yea :D
[10:31:22] <yatpay> where?
[10:31:26] <commander> new york :P
[10:31:29] <commander> at the "new yorker" festival
[10:31:34] <yatpay> sweet
[10:31:36] <commander> yup
[10:32:38] <yatpay> did you watch that video of my cats opening the door? i'm meeting the entire cast later tonight
[10:33:22] <commander> the entire cast of that video?
[10:33:23] <commander> your cats?
[10:33:40] <yatpay> yeah
[10:33:52] <commander> you're meeting your cats later tonight?
[10:33:58] <yatpay> i'm so excited
[10:34:06] <commander> :|
Quote #1487Score: 7 + / -
[11:19:08] <mel> A telemarketer just hung up on me
[11:19:11] <mel> I don't know how to feel
Quote #1486Score: 4 + / -
[19:43:01] <yatpay> Orlando Bloom tweets "I think Lady Gaga just puts glue on herself and rolls around in random items."
[19:43:21] <shawn> Lady Gaga, human katamari
[19:43:31] <shawn> and at some times human calamari
Quote #1485Score: 9 + / -
(Mel is watching My Little Pony)
[10:25:28] <mel> This just happened in real life:
[10:26:21] <mel> Mel (to no one, since I am sitting in an empty TV station): Pfft, that pony has glasses. Who do they think they are, the Mayor?
[10:26:21] <mel> Pony on show: Mayor!
[10:26:21] <mel> Mel: Shut up.
Quote #1484Score: 16 + / -
[10:11:15] <mel> Guess how many hours I'm working today
[10:12:07] <yatpay> 17
[10:12:24] <mel> Pfft, not THAT many
[10:12:52] <yatpay> 7
[10:13:07] <mel> Way more than that
[10:13:38] <yatpay> 17
[10:13:52] <mel> This game is no longer fun.
Quote #1483Score: 4 + / -
[20:49:46] <vicbond> ugh my popcorn is cold already
[20:49:50] <vicbond> THE NIGHT IS RUINED
Quote #1482Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: Oh man, I wish there were a professional kickball league. I'd watch that.
Brett: We could start it.
yatpay: OK, we'll start it in Buffalo. Get out here.
Brett: Ugh. No. We'll be the first professional kickball rivalry.
Quote #1481Score: 18 + / -
yatpay: Brett, the Bills won yesterday 41 to 7.
Brett: That's ridiculous. The Bills should never win a game.
Quote #1480Score: 5 + / -
(Notice that at the start of this quote, I am sending something Amanda said to Shawn)
[23:46:54] <yatpay> [23:45:43] <amanda> an tell Shawn "it's ok, someday he'll be one of us [as a pony fan] XD"
[23:48:09] <shawn> I'll give the same response I give to people that tell me, "You'll pray when you're on your deathbed.": I may, but know that the person that prays is no longer me; as long as I have an ounce of willpower left I'll stick to my ideals
[23:48:39] <shawn> "I may, but know that the person that ponies is no longer me"
Quote #1479Score: 3 + / -
[22:50:53] <yatpay> ugh. i hate flash videos that don't include a volume control
Quote #1478Score: 3 + / -
[15:45:33] <tony> I like my women like I like my scotch: twelve years old and given barely any water.
Quote #1477Score: 3 + / -
[10:02:40] <yatpay> speaking of bryce, i don't know if you heard but he's back in school
[10:02:51] <clark_james> oh yeah?
[10:03:03] <yatpay> yeah, he's going for a masters in pharmacology and toxicology
[10:03:31] <clark_james> he better design a real life Muk
[10:03:42] <clark_james> but i'm sure thats his goal anyway
Quote #1476Score: 8 + / -
[16:41:10] <yatpay> so how do you maintain a katana?
[16:41:31] <yatpay> slice through three bad guys a day?
[16:41:49] <tony> No, that's how you maintain a perimeter
Quote #1475Score: 2 + / -
[15:21:16] <mel> I'm taping the news today
[15:21:20] <yatpay> the little kid news?
[15:23:41] <mel> No, the adulty news
[15:23:45] <mel> Not like....porno news
[15:23:48] <yatpay> hahahaha
[15:24:02] <mel> That's another show entirely
Quote #1474Score: 2 + / -
[14:57:20] <yatpay> no library will ever beat [Clark University's] goddard [library]
[14:57:24] <yatpay> jerry garcia's favorite place to trip
[14:57:43] <yatpay> i want to know wtf jerry garcia was doing in the goddard library
[14:57:52] <bryce> tripping
Quote #1473Score: 3 + / -
[14:49:58] <nugget> yeah but people just liked alex mack cause she was hot
[14:51:44] <yatpay> i liked alex mack cause i wanted to be able to turn into liquid, lol
Quote #1472Score: 4 + / -
(Bryce is going outside to check out Hurricane Irene and talking to me on the phone)
Bryce: Alright, we're heading into the eye of the storm...
yatpay: You're not even near the eye!
Bryce: ...the spleeeeen.
Quote #1471Score: 3 + / -
(Making plans for Bryce's bachelor party. This is via text message)
yatpay: ok, party has been cleared with everyone at work now. i joked [with my department manager] saying "we're all nerds, so instead of strippers we'll have video games" and he said we need a video game where you strip strippers
Bryce: We aren't playing duke nukem forever
Bryce: Lol
Quote #1470Score: 9 + / -
(16:20:01) Beager: whats your spirit animal
(16:20:11) Beager: mine's a frisbee
Quote #1469Score: 15 + / -
(Via IM)
(Beager just had his wisdom teeth out)
(10:35:24) Beager: so the best part
(10:35:30) Beager: i'm in recovery, still drunk as hell
(10:35:52) Beager: wacked out of my gourd
(10:35:55) yatpay: haha
(10:35:58) Beager: with gauze in my mouth
(10:36:09) Beager: and my parents are getting instructions about after care from the nurse
(10:36:17) Beager: and i'm going "MURGHUGM MUGRHUHUGRMM MUGRHUGM"
(10:36:36) Beager: and then, i start doing Godfather impersonations, straight up Marlon Brando
(10:36:49) Beager: I've never done a Marlon Brando impersonation IN MY LIFE
(10:37:02) yatpay: LMFAO
(10:37:08) Beager: so everyone's trying to shut me up cause i'm talking over the nurse
(10:37:38) Beager: and I didn't know about any of this until my parents told me later.
Quote #1468Score: 5 + / -
[00:38:23] <topaz> oh, sad story for you
[00:38:31] <topaz> i was bumping around in the dark last night
[00:38:41] <topaz> had pretty good night vision
[00:38:46] <topaz> since it was dark
[00:39:14] <topaz> went to the refrigerator to get something, which was bright and screwed up my night vision
[00:39:38] <yatpay> rookie mistake
[00:39:45] <topaz> and i thought "oh hey, i should do what pirates did and close one eye when i open the... awww .("
[00:40:06] <yatpay> ahhhh hahaha
[00:40:11] <yatpay> poor potaz
Quote #1467Score: 3 + / -
[11:04:36] < Throbulator> Good afternoon, ponygoons
[11:04:43] < Geomancing> Hola Throb.
[11:04:47] < fenster> Good morning Throbulator
[11:05:12] < Throbulator> I'm from the magical lands of yurop. I can answer all your questions!
[11:05:24] <%OFSheep> why I am so bald?
[11:05:38] < Throbulator> a wizard did it
[11:05:46] < Wooten> lousy genetics
[11:05:49] < fenster> Why is my cat so sick?
[11:05:56] < Throbulator> wizard
[11:06:01] < Throbulator> totally a wizard
[11:06:06] < yatpay> Throbulator: what will NASA replace the shuttle with?
[11:06:17] < Throbulator> wizar- oh almost got me!
[11:06:39] < yatpay> see i thought you were just going to say they'd use a wizard to teleport things into space
[11:07:11] < Throbulator> now i imagine wizards with some rocket boosters on their back
[11:07:17] < yatpay> i like it
[11:07:42] < Throbulator> besides wizard hats look kind of aerodynamic
[11:08:08] < }xXxpRInCe_dUbYAhxXx{> the robe is for keeping warm while FLYING
[11:08:37] < Wooten> wizards refer to their hats as "nose cones"
Quote #1466Score: 2 + / -
John Kav: You know how most rockets use explosive detachment to separate stages, but SpaceX is using a piston.
Beager: Speaking of explosive detachment in stages, did anyone else have Lloyd's [taco truck] for lunch?
Quote #1465Score: 8 + / -
Uday: Beager! Do that thing you do!
Beager: Masturbate?
Quote #1464Score: 10 + / -
[23:27:22] <yatpay> i was watching My Little Pony, then switched to the republican debate, haha
[23:27:27] <yatpay> an odd juxtaposition
[23:27:42] <shawn> meh, just as much horseshit flying around both
Quote #1463Score: 2 + / -
[20:10:43] <tony> Man, X-men still stands up
[20:10:45] <tony> I give it an A
[20:11:25] <tony> I give it an AA
[20:11:34] <tony> Because it's fun to watch while drinking
Quote #1462Score: 6 + / -
<amanda>: better question is how do you remember all [these random facts about Care Bears and old My Little Pony], i watched it all when i was little but i don't remember what any of it was about
<vicbond>: I think my memory only operated from 1985-1990.
<vicbond>: anything outside of that, well, thank God for chat logs.
Quote #1461Score: 6 + / -
[19:42:02] <shawn> You're lucky I can keep secrets like nobody's business
[19:42:09] <shawn> that's one hell of an unintended pun
Quote #1460Score: 2 + / -
[17:07:05] <mel> I have been working 8:30am to 10pm all week
[17:07:14] <yatpay> how is that even possible?
[17:07:25] <mel> I BOUGHT A COFFEE.
Quote #1458Score: 4 + / -
(Beager facetiously asks what the higher number you can count to is)
yatpay: Aleph Null
yatpay: there you go, a number has an aleph null cardinality if it is countably infinite
yatpay: so i think that's your answer :P
Beager: My favorite Aleph is Aleph Trebek
Quote #1457Score: 35 + / -
(Amanda, Vic, Joy, and Jeff demanded I add this quote)
(Speaking about the new "My Little Ponies")
yatpay: You see, I feel like Rainbow Dash is the coolest, but I can relate the most to Twilight Sparkle.
Quote #1456Score: 1 + / -
(1:04:58) yatpay: Hey, [work related question]
(1:06:49) Canz: I have no idea.
(1:06:56) yatpay: haha, ok
(1:09:44) Canz: I don't know most things.
(1:10:18) Canz: I just guess with confidence.
Quote #1455Score: 5 + / -
[11:54:08] <yatpay>: last year's otakon: [Link to image]
[11:54:11] <yatpay>: this year's otakon: [Link to image]
[11:54:52] <Topaz>: next year's otakon: [Link to image]
Quote #1454Score: 2 + / -
[11:47:48] <yatpay> [Link to image]
[11:54:02] <nugget> that reminds me of an are you afraid of the dark episode
Quote #1453Score: 6 + / -
(Via text message)
Brett: do squirrels poop?
yatpay: what the hell kind of a question is that
Brett: i have never seen a squirrel poop. have you?
yatpay: i've never seen you poop either!
Brett: thats because i don't poop
yatpay: touche
Quote #1452Score: 4 + / -
(I spend a lot of time on the couch in our work area. This exchange occurs via Twitter)
Beager: Having an imaginary friend is fun when you're little, until you grow up and he's living on your couch.
Matt: @beager JP was your imaginary friend growing up? Why can I see him too?
Quote #1451Score: 2 + / -
[20:44:41] <yatpay> do you think you could've handled the responsibility of marty mcfly and gotten your parents together? haha
[20:45:02] <nugget> yes I'm very persuasive
Quote #1450Score: 6 + / -
Steve: Do you get anything out of oranges other than Hi-C? ....I mean.. vitamin C..
Quote #1449Score: 5 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: hahahaha, in his hearing, someone ran up to rupert murdoch and hit him in the face with a shaving cream pie
Bryce: Was his hearing on the set of what would you do
Quote #1448Score: 1 + / -
(Tony has a Makerbot, which prints 3D objects in plastic)
[11:45:56] <tony> Tony Celi was able to build this in his BEDROOM! WITH A BOX OF PLASTIC SCRAPS!
Quote #1447Score: 5 + / -
[19:03:25] <yatpay> waaaagggggh, i drank water too hard and now it's up my nose
[19:03:36] <shawn> how does one drink water... too hard?
Quote #1445Score: 1 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: Lol had horrible dream I was working typical day and then boom wake up to
typical day
Bryce: I rather be hunted by a monster, at least that exciting
yatpay: ha, that's too bad. i had a dream that your mom was giving me a tour of this building full of electric organs and i was jamming on them
Bryce: Oh I thought you meant body organs
yatpay: hahahahahaha
Quote #1444Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: I think I mentioned this, but I used to see M. Night Shyamalan's kids on an almost daily basis.
Beager: Really?
yatpay: Yeah, cause they went to the school I worked at.
Beager: Were they.. were they dead people?
Quote #1443Score: 5 + / -
Vic: Did you see that new [Britney Spears] video?
Amanda: Yeah, cause you made me!
Quote #1442Score: 23 + / -
Beager: I like my girls like I like my filesystems.. FAT and 16.
Quote #1441Score: 3 + / -
(Tony looked around in an area recently hit by a tornado)
[18:51:05] <yatpay> was there anything crazy? like a record embedded in a tree?
[18:51:07] <yatpay> oh wait, it's 2011
[18:51:10] <yatpay> an mp3 embedded in a tree?
[18:51:18] <tony> Yep. Tons of them.
Quote #1440Score: 1 + / -
[21:52:50] <yatpay> i hear a cat eating something somewhere
[21:52:52] <yatpay> who knows where
[21:52:57] <yatpay> who knows what
[21:53:10] <lone_beaver> you should write a kids book
[21:53:13] <lone_beaver> and illustrate it
Quote #1438Score: 1 + / -
[21:36:03] <tony> I'm just a simple man that wanted to build a cutting edge robot while drinking, so he could feel like Tony Stark
Quote #1437Score: 4 + / -
(Tony is under a tornado warning)
[15:37:43] <tony> I'm gonna turn on my ceiling fan really high and hope it spins the opposite way
Quote #1436Score: 12 + / -
[01:43:08] <yatpay> watch opportunity outlast curiosity, haha
[01:43:34] <shawn> if I didn't know those were [Mars] rovers that would be the most philosophically interesting statement I've heard all day
Quote #1435Score: 1 + / -
(10:01:37) yatpay: [Link to picture]
(10:02:20) Shawn: Scientist, get out of that rocket, you're not fire
(10:11:18) Beager: You don't even burn
(10:11:30) Shawn: or does he...
(10:15:24) Beager: Scientist, you look silly in that rocket. Everyone knows rockets are not for people, and scientists are most definitely people. Scientist, you're embarrassing us all.
(10:15:49) yatpay: haha, it's not even a rocket. it's the particle detector they just launched on Endeavour
(10:16:40) Beager: Particle detector, what are you doing. You aren't a rocket. Quit looking like it. You look silly.
Quote #1434Score: 3 + / -
(James is on Omegle, talking to a stranger)
James: They said they're 20, male, and in India.
yatpay: Ha, what are you telling him you are?
James: The exact same thing.
Quote #1433Score: 5 + / -
(James and I are waiting on a bridge for a space shuttle launch)
James: I feel like the traffic has to die down soon cause.. what the hell is over there??
Quote #1432Score: 2 + / -
Bryce: The idea of a tree with a face really creeps me out.
yatpay: What makes you say that?
Bryce: I'm just stating a fact.
Quote #1431Score: 3 + / -
John Kav: Sup, dawg?
Uday: Sup, cat?
Quote #1429Score: 4 + / -
[23:44:38] <yatpay> sometimes i'm sitting here.. and all of a sudden i feel this presence, and look to my left, and there is a cat sitting there staring at me
[23:51:45] <shawn> well that's much better than a random person sitting there
Quote #1428Score: 2 + / -
(The year is 2011)
Mel: Today I put the date on something and dated it 2008.
Quote #1427Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: Brett, I don't think you can understand the troubles at my job compared to your cushy job. We've had a Kinect for over a week and we still don't have Dance Central!
Brett: ......... I want to murder you.
Quote #1426Score: 1 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: lol, bryce's words of wisdom about federal employees having to get unpaid time off: "Its the unpaid part that stinks" i said "ha, well yeah"
yatpay's Mom: He has his finger on the pulse
Quote #1425Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: What's up? The International Space Station!
Beager: The International Space Station isn't real.
yatpay: I've seen it with my own eyes!
Beager: That was a star!
yatpay: No it wasn--
Beager: Stars aren't real either!
Quote #1424Score: 3 + / -
(Alicia accidentally cut her finger and required stitches)
[11:25:21] <yatpay> how'd you even cut yourself?
[11:25:28] <alicia> with a steak knife
[11:25:32] <alicia> cutting a baggette
[11:25:40] <yatpay> baggettes aren't steaks!
[11:25:48] <alicia> well it's pretty sharp
[11:25:50] <alicia> so it did the job
[11:25:56] <alicia> my finger is meat, so it cut that too
[11:26:01] <yatpay> hahaha
Quote #1423Score: 6 + / -
(14:59:48) yatpay: hey, if you have a free minute, could you [take a look at a problem for me]. No huge rush. I return, I offer you this song: [link to song]
(15:14:26) Canz: That song brought me joy.
(15:14:33) Canz: I will fulfill your request.
Quote #1422Score: 4 + / -
[16:50:30] <mel> My internal organs have all migrated to my butt
Quote #1421Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: When are they shutting down the server?
Steve: I don't know, probably something like eight months. Nothing ever dies at Synacor.
Matt: Well, souls do.
Quote #1420Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: Do [race car drivers] ever go flying off the top of [the banked race tracks]?
Shawn: That'd be cool. Actually nah, they'd probably die.
Quote #1418Score: 3 + / -
[00:11:15] <nugget> like if I wasn't working in the film industry I'd want to do that for a living
[00:11:34] <nugget> be an intergalactic time lord that saves the universe on a weekly basis
Quote #1417Score: 2 + / -
[11:35:56] <brian> Joe Oliver raves, "Who the F**K is Joe Oliver!? Seriously, who am I?"
[11:36:11] <yatpay> haha, who is he??
[11:36:20] <brian> idk I just made up the name
[11:36:27] <yatpay> pffft
Quote #1416Score: 7 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: what was that basketball game that was canceled after it shipped to stores?
Bryce: NBA elite 11
Bryce: You looking for a copy? I know a guy
yatpay: lol, no you don't
Bryce: I do know a guy, those sentences were unrelated
Quote #1415Score: 6 + / -
[15:02:47] <yatpay> i'm going to use this month's cat picture quota on this: [link]
[15:03:02] <nugget> ugh
[15:03:12] <yatpay> haha, is that not an awesome picture?
[15:03:14] <yatpay> come onnn
[15:03:21] <nugget> I think it's a moratorium not a quota
Quote #1414Score: 6 + / -
(Shawn is sick)
[12:00:41] <yatpay> so what'd you do this weekend? lots of mountain biking and lifting heavy things outside?
[12:01:00] <shawn> Yup, though I'm not sure fever-dreams count as real experiences
Quote #1413Score: 1 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: i had a dream that you had kidnapped a cheetah and a polar bear and were keeping them drugged with over the counter sleeping pills so you could make a movie of them
Bryce: No dream, I am recording FMV for my next game
Quote #1412Score: 6 + / -
(Clark James is installing Teamspeak while in Thailand)
[22:47:59] <clark_james> god DAMN
[22:48:14] <yatpay> ?
[22:48:17] <clark_james> all the prompts are in thai so i have no idea what the hell i'm clicking
[22:48:21] <clark_james> hang on
[22:48:24] <yatpay> lmao
[22:48:40] <yatpay> can't you read thai yet? :P
[22:48:43] <clark_james> success!
[22:48:47] <clark_james> i CAN
[22:48:47] <yatpay> oh nice!
[22:49:08] <clark_james> one button was "want stop"
[22:49:17] <clark_james> and i did not!
Quote #1410Score: 6 + / -
Synacor Employee: So Dipak, what part of India do you come from? The north or south?
Dipak: West, actually. The forgotten west part!
Shawn: So you moved from the forgotten west part of India to the forgotten west part of New York?
Quote #1409Score: 5 + / -
[16:54:46] <gambitt1982> brb, gotta experiment in single player
[16:54:48] gambitt1982 has disconnected: disconnect.quitting
[16:55:00] <onpoint> sounds like the nerdiest breakup line ever
[16:55:13] <Roomex> lolololol
Quote #1408Score: 2 + / -
Mel: Aren't I a cool and attractive sister?
Bailey: You're one of those things..
Quote #1406Score: 3 + / -
(Via text message)
[ 1:12 PM ] Bryce: I just realized
[ 1:16 PM ] yatpay: just realized what? or was that the end of the story
[ 1:24 PM ] Bryce: end of story
[ 1:24 PM ] yatpay: lol, ok
Quote #1405Score: 2 + / -
[15:46:25] <tony> I thought I ate a fruit fly
[15:46:32] <tony> But he faked me out
Quote #1404Score: 14 + / -
(Playing Minecraft)
[21:06:17] <Zoopers> Chickens are not supposed to be so organized
[21:06:24] <Zoopers> What. do. they. KNOW?!?
[21:06:25] <yatpay> lol
[21:06:33] <yatpay> i think you need to write about your developing madness
[21:06:51] <yatpay> maybe a minecraft short story
[21:06:55] <yatpay> :P
[21:07:21] <Zoopers> I didn't imply a great deal of sanity to begin with.
[21:07:33] <Zoopers> So it's less of a plunge into madness and more of a casual strut.
Quote #1403Score: 1 + / -
(Bryce is at a new job. This exchange was via text message.)
yatpay: time to begin the arduous task of oh so delicately looking for anime / game fans
Bryce: Haha, just whistle the Zelda tune while walking Around office
Bryce: Either they won't know what it is and think you just whistling or will and be like is that Zelda
Quote #1402Score: 5 + / -
(Canz is reading the quote "Bryce: I wish wind was made out of food.")
Canz: I like this quote, "I wish wind was made out of wood."
yatpay: No, it says "food", not "wood".
Canz: Oh, it must be because it's 3:30 in the morning.
Mark: Do you normally see wood at 3:30 in the morning?
yatpay: ..I'm adding that right now.
Canz: Does that make it a meta-quote?
Quote #1401Score: 5 + / -
(Via text)
Bryce: The game was called "let's go jungle!"
Bryce: It should have been called "holy fucking shit spiders!!!!"
Quote #1400Score: 3 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: nooooo
Bryce: Haha don't noooo me
yatpay: haha, you noooo'd me!!
Bryce: Haha o shit he's right
Quote #1399Score: 0 + / -
yatpay: We need to figure out what [my new license plate] says. What does "FGJ" stand for?
Steve: ....fairly.. good............................... jaw..breaker.
Quote #1398Score: 1 + / -
[17:51:46] <yatpay> how's the workin' life
[17:51:53] <vicbond> sucks balls.
[17:52:02] <yatpay> haha
[17:52:11] <vicbond> I unloaded a freighter of TVs today.
[17:52:17] <yatpay> nice tvs?
[17:52:23] <vicbond> tubes
[17:52:25] <yatpay> it's like you get paid to work out!
[17:53:45] <yatpay> i'm going to see you at alancon and you're going to be like the hulk
[17:56:02] <vicbond> no, I will be dead
[17:57:40] <yatpay> lol, then i will be impressed if you show up
[17:57:52] <vicbond> zombie time!
[17:57:59] <yatpay> dubbadubbadubbaduba
[17:58:00] <vicbond> zuggazuggazuggazuggazuggazugga
Quote #1397Score: 4 + / -
Becky: I'm going to the Aer Lingus Christmas Party tonight!
Mom: OK have fun but stay safe and party in moderation. You don't want to be the one everyone is talking about the next morning.
Becky: Mom, Its an Irish Airlines Christmas Party! EVERYONE is the one everyone is talking about the next morning!!
Quote #1396Score: 2 + / -
(James moved to Orlando and hasn't seen snow for a long time. After landing in Boston for Christmas he sent me this text)
James: It's cold and awful here... I wanna leave
Quote #1395Score: 2 + / -
(Steve had minor knee surgery)
yatpay: so when they drilled into your knee, did they find oil?
Steve: Hahahaha. Nope just mcrib BBQ sauce.....
yatpay: lol, that's disturbing in so many ways
Steve: Well look, I needed my strength. So I had a bunch of mcribs.
Quote #1394Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: i just tried to type the transformers sound
yatpay: and failed
Shawn: bwank sheeenk bwoooooom
yatpay: hey that's not bad
Quote #1393Score: 8 + / -
Matt: I'm going to go all Glenn Beck on this whiteboard.. I'm going to link the CMS code to terrorism.
Quote #1392Score: 1 + / -
[13:42:14] <mel> I bought a package of those sour patch watermelon slices because they were on sale
[13:42:22] <mel> And I dont like them, but I cant stop eating them
Quote #1391Score: 5 + / -
(2:59:58 PM) sbiddle: heh, list of all the music that I listened to while sleeping last week: [link]
(3:16:41 PM) yatpay: for a second i thought you were implying that you just stay up for days at a time, and then sleep for a week
(3:17:12 PM) sbiddle: haha, no
(3:17:38 PM) sbiddle: I have only slept about 10 hours this week though
(3:18:05 PM) sbiddle: As you can tell by my quickly deteriorating speaking ability :)
(3:19:14 PM) mcreenan: and hallucinations
(3:19:43 PM) sbiddle: I don't believe I'm hallucinating but the unicorn behind you agrees so I guess I am
Quote #1390Score: 5 + / -
[15:23:18] <mel> Oh no! Horrible porn results!
[15:23:33] <yatpay> hahaha, uhoh
[15:23:36] <yatpay> what was the search?
[15:23:42] <mel> I'm cooking for thanksgiving and I just did a google search for "delicious stuffing" with safe search off
Quote #1389Score: 9 + / -
(Omar is trying to make a Twizzler straw, but only has those peelable Twizzlers)
yatpay: You could remove the central mini-twizzler and the other eight would make a straw.
Omar: I'm not a wizard!
Quote #1388Score: 3 + / -
(4:23:48 PM) Mel: Ugh, one of the kids just told me I was "acting a damn fool"
(4:24:02 PM) Mel: Which I believe is code for "Mel is gonna have to eat all the cake herself"
Quote #1387Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: Does anyone else hate it when you inhale and a booger shoots to the back of your throat?
[Jeff, Joy, Vic, Amanda, Jefferson all pause awkwardly]
Bryce: It's the only time you can eat your boogers and get away with it, if you ask me.
Quote #1386Score: 8 + / -
[21:37:03] <yatpay> what is your favorite pokemon?
[21:55:59] <vicbond> I dunno, what's that hot one?
[21:56:07] <vicbond> No wait that's Digimon. I got my mons mixed up
Quote #1385Score: 7 + / -
[21:39:24] <yatpay> the worst part [about eating a cheesesteak when it's 3 degrees outside] is that as you have less cheesesteak, there is less to keep your fingers warm
[21:39:57] <vicbond> No, the worst part is that as you have less cheesesteak, you have less cheesesteak.
Quote #1384Score: 5 + / -
(I had emailed Matt, asking him to help explain part of a system at work to me)
Matt: Give me a few days to give this some thought. I don't want to just throw some random crap at you and hope it sticks. No, these turds I fling need to be polished.
Quote #1383Score: 9 + / -
[23:50:59] <yatpay> i wrote a fiarly decent blog post about [my trip to the Air and Space Museum] if you're interested
[23:51:22] <vicbond> Too drunk to read.
[23:51:26] <vicbond> prescreenings
Quote #1382Score: 4 + / -
16:41:42] <yatpay> if you had to cast yourself in a movie, who would play you?
[16:42:15] <nugget> are you going for physical resemblance or just someone that embodies me?
[16:42:37] <yatpay> well i guess that's the call you have to make as casting director!
[16:56:13] <nugget> or they could motion capture andy serkis and make me look like gollum, that would be badass too
[16:56:19] <yatpay> LMFAO
Quote #1381Score: 2 + / -
[16:31:44] <mel> My Halloween costume was gonna be awesome but I cant wear it
[16:31:51] <mel> So my new one is just kinda a joke
[16:32:35] <yatpay> what was it? and what is it?
[16:32:52] <mel> I was gonna be Delerium from Sandman
[16:33:28] <yatpay> whoa, that'd be cool
[16:33:34] <mel> Which I was all set to do
[16:33:53] <mel> But since I have to work on Halloween, I'm gonna dye my hair brown and then dress normal
[16:34:15] <mel> And when people ask me why I didnt dress up, I'm going to act offended and say I worked REALLY HARD on my Tina Fey costume.
[16:34:22] <yatpay> hahahaha
[16:34:27] <yatpay> i like it
[16:34:36] <yatpay> that's what i should do
[16:36:04] <mel> Just find a celebrity you look like and act shocked when nobody can tell?
[16:36:17] <yatpay> yeah, but with tina fey
[16:36:23] <mel> HAHAHAHAHAAHA
[16:36:36] <mel> That was awesome!
[16:36:42] <yatpay> haha
[16:37:21] <mel> I think I scared my coworkers with how hard I just laughed
[16:37:25] <yatpay> hahahaha, awesome
Quote #1380Score: 2 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: i think you should put a picture of bonsley near your tree to inspire it
Tony: Haha. That or a pokeball to inspire fear.
Quote #1379Score: 3 + / -
(Arguing over the pronunciation of the word "broom")
Teenage Girl: It's "brum"! "Broom" is a white-people word.
Assistant: Melanie! those girls are being problematic!
Mel: I think the word you're looking for is "racist".
Quote #1378Score: 3 + / -
(15:21:53) yatpay: i slammed my head into the doorframe trying to get past the caution tape
(15:22:03) topaz: ouch
(15:22:07) yatpay: you can detect subdural hematomas, right?
(15:22:14) topaz: sort of
(15:22:20) topaz: i can cause them, and then return true
(15:23:00) yatpay: wut
(15:23:13) topaz: "do i have one?" *wham!* "yes"
Quote #1377Score: 5 + / -
(16:32:39) Shawn: but careful going through the CMS at home. To paraphrase Neitzsche, if you stare long enough into the Abyss it'll start staring back
Quote #1376Score: 16 + / -
(Via Teamspeak text chat)
yatpay: You need to write the macroeconomics version of the Team Rocket motto
Brett: To protect the world from hyperinflation..
Quote #1375Score: 5 + / -
[16:51:58] <sierra> exit
[16:52:03] <yatpay> >_>
[16:52:04] <sierra> vi [redacted url]
[16:52:09] <sierra> ... you're not terminal
[16:52:10] <yatpay> <_<
Quote #1373Score: 13 + / -
John Kav: Anyone want some McDonalds?
yatpay: Oh god, it's not food!
Steve: Everyone needs some McDonalds once in a while..
yatpay: It's like eating playdoh!
Steve: Everyone needs some playdoh once in a while..
Quote #1372Score: 10 + / -
Shawn: Are [your cats] declawed?
yatpay: Nah, it's actually pretty painful for the cats and not really humane. Plus, what's the fun in that? They can't fight back!
Steve: If I wanted something that could fight back I'd get a bear! I get a cat to kick it around!
Quote #1371Score: 6 + / -
(Via text message)
(The night before, Brett had accidentally drank some dish soap. Poison Control said he'd be fine)
Brett: you'd think that if a man had swallowed as much dish soap as i have that he would be blowing bubbles with his farts, but apparently dreams dont always come true
Quote #1370Score: 18 + / -
Shawn: Implicit type conversion for the win! And by "for the win" I mean "goddamit"!
Quote #1369Score: 14 + / -
(Sent via text message)
Bryce: Hardest thing I ever had to do, explain to an 80 year old great aunt of Alicia the difference between yu gi oh and pokemon
Quote #1368Score: 1 + / -
(Mel is talking to an 8 year old girl at work)
Girl: I'm the only person you know who can eat an entire ham in 15 minutes."
Mel: What? A ham?
Girl: (deadly serious) It's all in the wrists.
Quote #1367Score: 3 + / -
(After my chair made a loud, unexpected, "BANG!")
John Kav: I hope that didn't come out of you.
Quote #1366Score: 2 + / -
[12:27:03] <yatpay> oh man
[12:27:04] <yatpay> oh man
[12:27:05] <yatpay> oh man
[12:27:06] <yatpay> get this
[12:27:10] <yatpay> they're making...........
[12:27:13] <yatpay> a sequel....................
[12:27:15] <yatpay> in 3d....................
[12:27:18] <yatpay> with the original cast.......................
[12:27:21] <yatpay> to................................................................
[12:27:23] <yatpay> ....................
[12:27:25] <yatpay> .......
[12:27:25] <mel> ohhhhhh
[12:27:27] <yatpay> twister.
[12:27:31] <mel> TWISTER
[12:27:34] <yatpay> TWISTER :D
[12:27:36] <mel> GOD DAMN YOU
[12:27:38] <mel> -_-
[12:27:42] <yatpay> hahahahaha
Quote #1365Score: 9 + / -
[16:50:57] <tony> Sword camp tomorrrow
[16:51:55] <tony> Right after a job interview
[16:52:06] <tony> Interview = Suit
[16:52:06] <tony> Camp = Sword
[16:52:12] <tony> DO NOT LET ME MIX THOSE UP
Quote #1364Score: 4 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: Oh I am so torn if I wanna work a lot extra
yatpay: here's a compromise. work extra, but give me the extra money so i can buy another lens
Bryce: !!!! It is a win win for me
Quote #1363Score: 8 + / -
[00:31:59] <vicbond> Any job that makes me come into work at midnight better involve a blowjob, and I sure as hell better be on the good end of that deal!
Quote #1362Score: 2 + / -
(After getting a speeding ticket)
Jamie: Are you ready to get so drunk we can't feel feelings?
Quote #1361Score: 2 + / -
[13:52:06] <yatpay> [13:51:04] <jefferson> Why am I singing Olivia Newton-John to myself?
[13:52:06] <yatpay> [13:51:16] <yatpay> good.. question?
[13:52:38] <vicbond> Every IM I've EVER gotten from Jefferson, has been both awkward, and immediately ignored.
[13:52:45] <yatpay> hahahahaha
Quote #1360Score: 3 + / -
[15:10:14] <yatpay> uhoh. the new camera's flash pops up automatically. i can see it now.. i ask a cosplayer for a picture, frame the shot, press the shutter halfway.. the flash pops up in my face and i shriek and drop the camera
[15:10:36] <nugget> that's how they get you to keep coming back
Quote #1359Score: 8 + / -
[15:02:12] <yatpay> whatever you do, don't play [the Metal Gear Solid seqels] before [Metal Gear Solid 1]
[15:03:32] <vicbond> no
[15:03:36] <vicbond> I'm playing them backwards
[15:03:39] <vicbond> So it's like Memento
[15:03:41] <yatpay> lol, nooooooooooo
Quote #1358Score: 3 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: did i tell you that my sister is balancing airplanes at work now?
Brett: like a seal?
Quote #1357Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: NANA is one of those series that fascinates me cause I'm never going to watch it and yet.. there it is!
Quote #1356Score: 7 + / -
(Sam is the chatbot at work)
(11:07:04) mcreenan: sam, what are todays soups?
(11:07:34) sam: [waterline] mcreenan: 500 read timeout
(11:07:39) ewastl: my favorite!
Quote #1354Score: 4 + / -
[12:17:01] <mel>: It's so much easier for me to do my job when nobody cares what happens to the kids
Quote #1353Score: 5 + / -
[16:00:05] <yatpay> did you get your free slurpee on sunday?
[16:00:18] <mel> ......no!?!?!
[16:00:22] <yatpay> it was 7/11
[16:00:26] <yatpay> so they give out free slurpees
[16:00:29] <mel> SON OF A BITCH
[16:00:31] <mel> I had no idea.
Quote #1352Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: Brett, if you had to sum up your [New Mexico, California, and Las Vegas] vacation in three words, what would they be?
Brett: Hmm.... "only person drinking"
Quote #1351Score: 12 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: I want someone to make a game called knights of cydonia
yatpay: x-com ends on cydonia
Bryce: It very true
Bryce: Haha
Bryce: I was basically thinking a god of war like game with muse music
Bryce: But it takes place over the course of history
yatpay: haha, what does that have to do with cydonia?
Bryce: I dunno, muse...
Bryce: No wait
Bryce: "we're not prepared to talk about that right now, we will have more announcements at Tokyo game show"
yatpay: haha, I'll hold you to that
Bryce: Well this game will continue our partnership with EA Sports. They want to expand their portfolio, so Talon helped bring falconry, and knights of cydonia will be the first EA Sports game featuring time traveling warriors
Bryce: Well first game since madden 95
yatpay: lmfao, WHAT??
Quote #1350Score: 5 + / -
[13:48:35] <yatpay> did jamie hide [the engagement ring] in a sub that bailey brought home?
[13:48:46] <mel> That would have been hilarious
[13:48:59] <yatpay> "mommy, why is your tooth broken?" "well....."
[13:49:49] <mel> A delicious sandwich ruined my life
[13:49:54] <yatpay> hahaha
[13:50:02] <mel> Its also how I perforated my colon
[13:50:07] <yatpay> lmao
Quote #1348Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: Bryce, you sure have been giddy the last couple of days.
Bryce: Well, I just got engaged!
yatpay: Yeah I know.. but I'd go so far as to say.. ebullient?
Bryce: Sure. OK. Whatever. I'm not even going to ask what it means, I'm not going to use it.
Quote #1347Score: 5 + / -
(Via text message)
Brett: omg, i just cut up a jalapeno pepper to put on an omelet, immediately forgot about it, and rubbed my eye
yatpay: you are 100% idiots
Brett: i want to dieeee!
Quote #1346Score: 5 + / -
[13:51:39] <tony> Oh man. I just ate a mixture of yogurt and protein powder in an ill-conceived ratio.
[13:51:59] <tony> When you were little, did you ever mix sand and strawberry Quick and eat it?
[13:52:06] <tony> Me either. But now I know what could have been.
Quote #1345Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: I've got an uncle that kind of looks like Dr. Wily. But he's a guitar player, not a robot master.
Clark James: Guitars are sort of like robots. ...nah. They're not.
Quote #1344Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: You know what's scary? Back to the Future 2 takes place in 5 years.
Clark James: You know what's scary? Skynet became self aware like 13 years ago.
Bryce: You know what's scary? New York becomes an island prison in 1999.
Quote #1343Score: 7 + / -
Clark James: Oh, that's Brett's laundry?
yatpay: Yep.
Clark James: Is it clean?
yatpay: Yeah..
Clark James: Let's wear it!
Quote #1342Score: 10 + / -
Brett: Hey Neil, can you get that for me?
yatpay: That's Buzz.
Brett: Hey Neil, can you be Buzz for me?
Quote #1341Score: 6 + / -
Dave: Ever seen "I Love You, Man"?
yatpay: nope
Dave: Oh yeah, of course you haven't, it's not made in Japan.
Quote #1340Score: 14 + / -
[23:47:49] <Topaz> i don't always watch tv, but when i do, i watch dos equis commercials
Quote #1339Score: 4 + / -
[13:47:45] <mel> I threw up on a kid!
[13:48:00] <mel> Best. Day. Ever.
Quote #1338Score: 8 + / -
Tony: Rice doesn't tell me when I can eat, I tell rice when it's inside me!
Quote #1337Score: 7 + / -
(James found a snail and texted me a picture)
James: I named it Apple Bottom.. Because it's an Apple Snail... and a Bottom Feeder.. And the name gives him street cred
Quote #1336Score: 14 + / -
Tony: Do you have a microwave?
yatpay: Yeah, it's that thing that looks like a breadmaker.
Tony: Oh.. well, that ruins my evening plans of making bread.
Quote #1335Score: 0 + / -
Jeremiah: Racism is funny.
Quote #1334Score: 4 + / -
(For The Daily Draw topic "How did you get here?" I submitted this drawing)
yatpay: Like my drawing?
Carol: "How did you get here.." is that how you got here? Aliens?
yatpay: No, that's an astronaut, and that's the Soviet flag
Carol: Is there really a Soviet flag on the moon??
yatpay: I will strangle you in your sleep.
Quote #1332Score: 4 + / -
Jerry: Who's the creepy dude looking into my office?
Dave: What's he staring at?
Jerry: Should I see what he wants?
Dave: Nah.
Jerry: Oh... it's my dad...
Quote #1329Score: 14 + / -
[01:27 PM] VicBond: The 300 miles between Philly and Pittsburgh are all corn fields.
[01:27 PM] Vlad P: you can edit while you drive
[01:29 PM] VicBond: Yo dawg, we heard you liked accidents so we put Premiere in your steering wheel so you can crash while you crash!
Quote #1328Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: Is [that laptop] new or a refurb?
Dave: Everything on Woot.com is a refurb.
yatpay: No way, that's why they have a status, "new" or "refurb"
[Name removed]: Ohhh, refurb.. I thought you said "reefer" and I was like "yeahhhh"
Quote #1327Score: 10 + / -
[22:50:04] <tony> Also, please check on Brett for me. If he doesn't have The Passing downloaded I will murder him tomorrow.
[22:50:09] <tony> Murder with fire and sand.
[22:50:17] <tony> So his stomach is full of burny glass.
[22:50:22] <yatpay> brett is in germany
[22:50:27] <tony> fffffffffffff
Quote #1325Score: 4 + / -
[03:42 PM] VicBond007: I didn't think grass grew in the South. I though you grew old cars.
[03:42 PM] amanda: we had 3 acre's of land!!
[03:42 PM] VicBond007: So you had a dealership.
Quote #1324Score: 2 + / -
Jerry: [Name removed] is such a douchebag.
Dave: Did you say he's a chick magnet?
Jerry: ..I said he's a douchebag!
Quote #1323Score: 9 + / -
[11:25:22] <yatpay> are you a fan of minecraft?
[11:25:47] <vicbond> no, I learned my lesson. I stay away from anything with "craft" in the name.
Quote #1322Score: 10 + / -
[23:42:26] <yatpay> i actually went to the anime boston dance this year
[23:42:30] <yatpay> the earplugs helped
[23:42:40] <yatpay> once you got use to the smell it was pretty sweet since it was all cool nerdy music
[23:42:48] <yatpay> where else are you going to hear a remix of the katamari theme at 130 decibels?
[23:43:37] <mel> My house
[23:44:07] <yatpay> hahaha
Quote #1321Score: 8 + / -
yatpay's Dad: Want a blueberry?
yatpay: Those aren't blueberries!
yatpay's Dad: Er, want a blackberry? Ever had a blackberry?
yatpay: Yes, I have.
yatpay's Dad: Good. Then you don't get any.
Quote #1320Score: 2 + / -
[11:28:40] <tony> My crazy tuesday schedule lets me go home for a huge chunk of the day.
[11:28:50] <tony> So I'm chilling in bed with Kodachi and some assignments.
[11:28:52] <yatpay> got some good html/perl questions for tonight?
[11:29:05] <yatpay> lol, at first i thought kodachi was your sword and you were like.. snuggling
[11:29:19] <yatpay> and i was gonna say "be careful"
[11:29:20] <tony> Haha. It does mean short sword, after all.
[11:29:24] <yatpay> yeah
[11:29:24] <yatpay> haha
[11:29:42] <tony> And I totally have snuggled with my sword.
[11:29:46] <yatpay> hahaha
[11:30:16] <tony> Anytime in a movie where you see a samurai-ish figure sleeping, holding his sword? It's not alertness. They're
[11:30:27] <yatpay> haha, now i know
[11:30:38] <tony> And knowing is half of snuggling.
[11:32:34] <yatpay> >_>
Quote #1319Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: [Link to bike trails in Valley Forge on Google Maps]
[20:48:00] <yatpay> thanks google :D
[20:48:10] <Topaz> thoogle
Quote #1318Score: 7 + / -
[11:44:09] <yatpay> [Link to a picture of a device that helps prevent sleep apnea]
[11:44:12] <yatpay> i'll look cool with that on
[11:44:29] <mel> Can you mod it to look like a facehugger?
[11:44:33] <yatpay> HAHAHAHA
[11:44:42] <yatpay> yes
[11:44:45] <yatpay> that's what i'll have to do
[11:44:52] <mel> Do so. Immediately.
Quote #1317Score: 4 + / -
(Alicia and Bryce are debating about whose fault it is that they stopped going to the gym)
yatpay: You can go to the gym by yourself, you know.
Bryce: No, I can't! .....I don't know where it is!!
Quote #1316Score: 7 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: I'm getting my new glasses today. Think you'll be able to recognize me?
Bryce: depends
Bryce: Are you offering me a get out of knowing you free card?
Quote #1315Score: 3 + / -
Dave: In Soviet Russia, the car doesn't drive you.. what do they say??
Quote #1314Score: 4 + / -
[18:06:32] <mom> dont drink [vanilla extract] straight!!
[18:06:32] <yatpay> the GOOD ice cream
[18:06:37] <yatpay> lol, but it smells so good
[18:06:40] <yatpay> what could go wrong? =P
[18:06:53] <mom> you could turn into a homeless alchy
[18:07:06] <yatpay> those are some pretty dire consequences
[18:07:12] <mom> LOL
Quote #1312Score: 23 + / -
[18:35:32] <yatpay> i bought some vanilla extract today
[18:35:33] <yatpay> just to smell it
[18:35:51] <vicbond> I once killed a man in Reno
[18:35:54] <vicbond> just to watch him die
[18:35:58] <yatpay> and then smell him?
[18:36:09] <vicbond> no
[18:36:13] <vicbond> what the fuck is wrong with you
Quote #1311Score: 5 + / -
[12:37:29] <sierra_work> well, it's not NWN if that's what you're looking for, but it's... peculair
[12:37:54] <yatpay> is that where the weird things live? the peculair?
[12:38:08] <sierra_work> funny
[12:38:12] <yatpay> i try
Quote #1310Score: 5 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: in this month's "pizza today" the featured article is "Slice of Heaven - Pizza by the slice is a customer favorite"
Bryce: Haha I see good to know, after all I own a pizza establishment
yatpay: lol, is it called DiGiornos?
Bryce: No big bryce's pizza palace...ya chump
Bryce: The ya chump is part of the title
Quote #1309Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: (Shouting at the game S.T.A.L.K.E.R.) OK, scary green thing in the sky, I have wandered into your part of town and it's time for us to.. meet!
Tony: That's what the native americans used to say to the moon.
Quote #1308Score: 3 + / -
Tony: I never really bothered learning HTML because it's... so easy to.. copy and paste.
Quote #1307Score: 16 + / -
[12:28:00] <Topaz> $jokes{programming}{humor_level} > $jokes{typical}{humor_level}
Quote #1306Score: 8 + / -
[10:00:42] <+xMine> so when i close this irc window, will trillian hold the connection?
[10:01:51] <+yatpay> close it and find out
[10:01:56] -!- xMine [xMine@eywa.ngahu] has left #Na'vi []
[10:01:58] <+yatpay> nope
Quote #1305Score: 8 + / -
(Look at the timestamps)
[12:34:11] <Topaz> happy 1234
[12:34:14] <yatpay> lol
[12:34:17] <yatpay> wait a few seconds...
[12:34:23] <Topaz> ooh yeha
[12:34:56] <Topaz> 123456!
[12:34:56] <yatpay> happy 123456
[12:34:59] <yatpay> lmfao!
[12:35:12] <Topaz> lol
Quote #1304Score: 8 + / -
Latrisse: So what's new?
yatpay: Kaltxì!
Latrisse: OK, you have crossed a line. I will write it, I will not speak it, and I can no longer be your friend.
Quote #1303Score: 9 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: Hey freak of nature
yatpay: kaltxì?
Bryce: What?
yatpay: lol, i figured i might as well roll with the "freak" thing and respond in na'vi
Bryce: I knew it!!!!!!!!!!
Quote #1302Score: 3 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: tony says the voice actor of meowth died 2 years ago
Bryce: ...I just realized I should have been way more depressed for the past two year
Quote #1301Score: 4 + / -
(Via text message. If you don't get it, watch Wizard People)
Brett: i have to read through a fucking 105 page long legal document to make an abstract. fml
yatpay: legal document and the sorcerer's stone. a pdf. chapter one. the ominous font makes the paper even more hoary and mysterious than usual, here in brett's cubicle
Brett: boooooo
Quote #1300Score: 16 + / -
[21:36:35] <yatpay> i need more yams
Quote #1299Score: 2 + / -
[18:11:41] <yatpay> lol, my cat is so tenacious.. he jumps in my lap, i put him on the floor, repeat 100 times
[18:12:56] <clarkjames> cover your lap with spikes
[18:13:01] <yatpay> that's the way
[18:13:04] <clarkjames> or acid
[18:13:11] <yatpay> cats today don't know the dangers of acid or lava
[18:13:20] <clarkjames> but where acid-proof pants first, obv
[18:13:26] <yatpay> well that just goes without saying
Quote #1298Score: 5 + / -
[17:01:20] <yatpay> lol, i should see if i can get new glasses in time [to see Avatar]
[17:02:14] <nugget> like eye glasses or 3d glasses?
[17:02:23] <yatpay> eye glasses. i think i need a new prescription
[17:02:26] <yatpay> and they're all taped together
[17:02:33] <nugget> you should just get prescription 3d glasses
[17:02:40] <yatpay> that'd be convenient
Quote #1297Score: 9 + / -
(Via text message)
yatpay: NASA's selling space shuttles. $36 million, $6 million shipping and handling
Brett: wanna go halfsies on the Discovery space shuttle with me?
yatpay: smithsonian already got discovery. how about endeavour, the newest one
Brett: sounds awesome. on a totally unrelated note, could you spot me 21 million dollars?
Quote #1296Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: When I die, I want you to spread my ashes in a Moe's burrito.. and eat it.
yatpay: I don't even like Moe's burritos!
Quote #1295Score: 3 + / -
Bryce: I can't tell if I'm hungry or nauseous
Quote #1294Score: 4 + / -
(After returning from winter vacation)
Jerry: I wish break was.. again.
Quote #1293Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: Who the hell clicks on [internet] ads??
Yatpay's Mom: I didn't even know you could click them!
Quote #1292Score: 13 + / -
Becky: I just kind of have a headache now..
yatpay: Why?
Becky: I don't know..
yatpay: Is it cerebral edema? Cause that's serious.
Becky: I don't know but you're kind of adding to it.
Quote #1291Score: 5 + / -
[00:52:20] <james_sfne> lol... im IN the hottub
[00:53:16] <yatpay> with your laptop? or phone?
[00:53:28] <james_sfne> laPTOP
Quote #1290Score: 7 + / -
Becky: I love blind people! They're so much better than real people!
Quote #1289Score: 4 + / -
[15:01:54] <yatpay> were you born on christmas?
[15:01:58] <nugget> yes
[15:01:59] <yatpay> lol, bummer
[15:02:53] <nugget> but I assure you my birthday will one day overshadow christ's, he just has a 2000 year head start on me
Quote #1288Score: 3 + / -
[15:12:05] <jerry> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK9myqHOMfE -
[15:12:15] <yatpay> where'd that hyphen come from
[15:12:47] <jerry> i was gonna type something, then changed my mind
[15:12:51] <yatpay> can i keep it?
[15:13:11] <jerry> the hyphen? no i want it back
[15:13:15] <yatpay> :( alright. -
Quote #1287Score: 7 + / -
[23:38:21] <sierra> I barely take my fingers up off the kyeus in order to slide them to the next ones
[23:38:23] <sierra> fuck it
Quote #1286Score: 22 + / -
(On his blog)
Mike: as I went to dispense some body soap onto my humble loofah, the soap squirted in an outrageous trajectory, right into my eyes, as if god himself had decided to ejaculate on my face.
Quote #1285Score: 28 + / -
(I got an email from Dr. Phil's producer that they wanted to use a video of my cats on Dr. Phil's blog. This exchange was via text message)
Brett: your going to be on Dr. Phil?
yatpay: I'm sorry I don't understand the question
Brett: you're going to be on Dr. Phil, fuckface?
Quote #1284Score: 25 + / -
[11:25:33] <yatpay> i don't understand mailing lists at all
[11:25:46] <Topaz> they're relics of the past
[11:25:59] <yatpay> they're relics of your face
[11:26:18] <yatpay> lol, it usually takes people a while to realize that there is absolutely zero meaning in my "your face" statements
[11:26:38] <Topaz> it usually takes people a while to realize that there is actually zero meaning in your face
Quote #1283Score: 4 + / -
[15:29:23] <yatpay> get a g1! :D
[15:29:26] <yatpay> you're already on t-mobile
[15:29:36] <mel> Does it cost a buttload?
[15:29:44] <yatpay> $200
[15:29:58] <mel> A day?
Quote #1282Score: 6 + / -
Brett: I'm starting to fear I am secretly mentally challenged but no one ever told me, and that is why I haven't done anything mentally demanding at any of my jobs.
Quote #1281Score: 8 + / -
[09:52:12] <yatpay> bryce and i got snuggies and everyone is making fun of us
[09:53:01] <mel> Hahahahahahaha
[09:53:08] <mel> I am too.
Quote #1280Score: 11 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: Wheeled Warriors is so topical
yatpay: is it?
Bryce: No
Quote #1279Score: 2 + / -
Gragra: I'm 83 years old, I'm not about to start having fun now!
Quote #1278Score: 28 + / -
Bryce: Who wants to go to the vending machine with me?
McKeed: Eh, I'll go. I've got a bunch of change.
Bryce: Good. I've got a quarter.
Quote #1277Score: 0 + / -
[21:30:02] <yatpay> my nose is bleeding! :O
[21:30:09] <tony> :O
[21:30:13] <yatpay> :O
[21:30:38] <tony> :O - - - - - - [21:32:48] <yatpay> MY NOSE???
Quote #1276Score: 14 + / -
[19:20:19] <yatpay> buzz has this ridiculous behavior that i call "forced cuddling"
[19:20:26] <yatpay> he will just not take no for an answer
[19:20:33] <yatpay> as he forced you to pet him while he rolls around on your lap
[19:20:36] <sierra> no, that's called "cat"
Quote #1275Score: 8 + / -
[14:25:45] <mel> So how bad is this
[14:25:52] <mel> I have pokemon on my ds
[14:26:02] <mel> And I really wanted to do a trade evolve
[14:26:04] <yatpay> and you are 23
[14:26:13] <mel> So I traded with one of the kindergarteners
[14:26:20] <mel> And I am 23
[14:26:20] <yatpay> LMAO!!
[14:26:29] <mel> WITH A SWEET ASS GENGAR
Quote #1274Score: 5 + / -
[22:02:44] <muffie> so what's going on in your world?
[22:03:09] <yatpay> i just decided today that i'm not going to apply to jet
[22:03:38] <muffie> no? well that's a shame
[22:05:40] <muffie> OH btw
[22:05:44] <muffie> no idea what "jet" is
Quote #1273Score: 3 + / -
(Via text)
Brett: Let's play a drinking game; every time brett gets fired, take a shot.
Brett: Shots!!!
yatpay: really????
Brett: Yeah
Quote #1272Score: 18 + / -
[20:00:50] <nugget> my brain is so logical sometimes I wish I could just live as normal humans do
Quote #1271Score: 7 + / -
[23:24:15] <yatpay> every time i see a sunset i look around to see if you're leaning against a tree in a protoman costume
[23:24:46] <tony> I'm probably just on a different tree.
Quote #1270Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: I will be over on the later side tonight, so hide the cats cause I am looking for blood
Quote #1269Score: 16 + / -
yatpay: I had to cover a game at Baldwin.. there were two teams. A pink team and a white team. The pink team was the Pink Panthers.. which is already pretty bad. But the white team was... the White Panthers.
Bryce: They should've been.. the White Supremacists.
Quote #1268Score: 14 + / -
[20:22:51] <yatpay> typical conversation between me and the cats:
[20:22:59] <yatpay> =^O_O^=
[20:23:02] <yatpay> what the fuck are you eating??
[20:23:03] <yatpay> =^O_O^=
[20:24:11] <Topaz> an instant classic
Quote #1267Score: 16 + / -
(Via text message)
Brett: The problem with working out in the morning is that you have to take super-dumps for the rest of the day
yatpay: you're on the toilet right now aren't you
Brett: ;-D
Quote #1266Score: 13 + / -
James: So, I had to figure out how I was going to move my cactus [to my new apartment] and I decided that putting it in the cup holder would be a good idea.. but then I was afraid I'd accidentally try to drink it, so I put it in the back.
Quote #1265Score: 3 + / -
(Finding a TF2 server)
Bryce: I find a for real server! This server is for real! But this guy looks like a ghost so I don't know how I feel about that..
Quote #1264Score: 4 + / -
(Via SMS)
yatpay: Hey, I put your Daily Draw picture up on my office wall
Tony: Haha. I'm officially famous
Quote #1263Score: 5 + / -
[15:59:37] <yatpay> sad news.. captain lou is dead :(
[16:00:03] <yatpay> now he's doing the mario.. in heaven!
[16:00:08] <brandon> yeah
[16:00:17] <brandon> captain lou was probably suppose to die in the 80s
[16:00:26] <brandon> he was here on borrowed time
[16:01:26] <yatpay> hahaha, how many children died to balance out hte universe and keep captain lou alive??
[16:02:48] <brandon> many
[16:03:06] <brandon> most of them dying from epileptic seizures while playing nintendo or watching his tv show
[16:08:03] <yatpay> lmao
[16:08:25] <brandon> he's kind of like a vampire
Quote #1262Score: 15 + / -
(Talking via text message)
Brett: My job ends friday :/
yatpay: whoa, this day keeps getting worse and worse
Brett: My job ends today
Quote #1261Score: 10 + / -
(I'm reading a list of random facts)
yatpay: Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
Bryce: Ugh!! ....total? Or on each foot?
Quote #1260Score: 11 + / -
[17:18:06] <yatpay> ok, time for more S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
[17:19:41] <vicbond> That's a creepy way to end a conversation
[17:20:25] <vicbond> brb P.e.e.p.i.n.g. T.o.m.
Quote #1259Score: 12 + / -
[20:03:40] <lone_beaver> i think the key to metal gear solid is to bring a book
Quote #1258Score: 12 + / -
(Neil and Buzz are my kittens)
[17:56:36] <yatpay> buzz totally fucking flipped out earlier
[17:56:39] <yatpay> i'm not sure what the deal was
[17:56:39] <lone_beaver> i doubt it
[17:56:44] <yatpay> i can't tell if they were fighting or not
[17:56:45] <lone_beaver> just out of nowhere?
[17:56:49] <yatpay> because by the time i looked neil was across the room
[17:56:53] <yatpay> and i don't know if he ran there or was already there
[17:56:59] <yatpay> but buzz was just like "YOWWWLLLL!!!"
[17:57:05] <yatpay> and i thought i had crushed him with my chair or something
[17:57:13] <yatpay> but he seems alright so whatever, lol
[17:57:17] <lone_beaver> he's fine
[17:57:20] <lone_beaver> cats just do that sometimes
[17:57:39] <lone_beaver> like little furry hunter s. thompsons
Quote #1257Score: 14 + / -
[20:50:27] <vicbond> Bryce's mind is the Pet Cemetary of In-Jokes.
Quote #1255Score: 15 + / -
yatpay: Dad, when are you getting hearing aids?
yatpay's Dad: These army socks worked out really well!
Quote #1254Score: 15 + / -
(Sierra is deaf)
[22:22:29] <yatpay> good artists borrow, great artists steal =P
[22:22:39] <sierra> yup
[22:22:45] <sierra> in that case, I'm fucking van gogh
[22:22:49] <yatpay> lol
[22:23:05] <yatpay> lol, there's a deaf joke in there somewhere
[22:23:38] <sierra> yep
[22:23:43] <sierra> that and he's batshit
Quote #1253Score: 19 + / -
Bryce: Are you going to start a kitty farm? I think you should.
yatpay: With my two male cats?
Bryce: Ah! I believe Jurassic Park taught us that life will find a way!
Quote #1252Score: 16 + / -
[19:20:06] <lone_beaver> so the other day
[19:20:09] <lone_beaver> i was in the car with rosie
[19:20:24] <lone_beaver> and i asked her, "what was your favorite scene in the movie SPEED?"
[19:20:28] <lone_beaver> and you know what she says to me?
[19:20:38] <lone_beaver> "i have never seen Speed"
[19:21:32] <lone_beaver> and then our velocity dropped below 50 mph, and the bus exploded
Quote #1251Score: 11 + / -
[11:53:16] <nugget> ripley was supposed to be half alien in resurrection
[11:53:24] <nugget> which is why she had acid for blood and was good at basketball
[11:53:27] <nugget> just like the aliens
Quote #1250Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: lol, mom's hobby is not responding to me on AIM
Becky: Mine too!
Quote #1249Score: 5 + / -
[01:15:01] <yatpay> you know what would rule?
[01:15:11] <yatpay> house arrest
[01:15:17] <tony> Hahahaha
Quote #1248Score: 25 + / -
Bryce's Mom: What are you doing up?
Bryce: I dunno, mom. It's 10:15 on a Friday night, am I that lame in your mind?
Quote #1247Score: 16 + / -
Bryce: JP guess what comes out this Monday!
yatpay: ...
Bryce: Jelly Belly: Ballistic Beans!
Brett: What's that?
Bryce: Brett, who cares!?
Quote #1246Score: 6 + / -
[09:09:41] <mel> Je voudrais du laveuax dans le douche!
[09:09:57] <yatpay> you love dan's douche?
[09:10:25] <mel> Its an uncomfortable topic for me...
Quote #1245Score: 9 + / -
Bryce: You know that game I was telling you about when I was dominating?
yatpay: Yeah..
Bryce: Turns out they were bots.
Quote #1244Score: 10 + / -
[19:56:24] <yatpay> well.. it took me almost 25 hours.. but the first minute of my amv is done
[20:24:18] <vicbond> quit rushing
Quote #1243Score: 10 + / -
[19:58:04] <brandon> yeah takeout is bad news
[19:58:31] <brandon> it's like having a pizza hand fed to you while you fart all over your bed and stink the place up
[19:58:38] <yatpay> hahaha
[19:58:40] <yatpay> ah, good times
Quote #1242Score: 18 + / -
(Via SMS)
Bryce: I got burps on the brain
yatpay: What, a cerebral embolism?
Quote #1241Score: 14 + / -
(I was listening to the Apollo 11 transmissions in realtime, 40 years late)
[11:33:04] <yatpay> haha, oh no, there's a real spacewalk going on right now
[11:33:07] <yatpay> now i have to watch both
[11:33:36] <jabberwok> or you could just wait 40 years to watch today's spacewalk
Quote #1240Score: 11 + / -
(Before entering the Safari at Six Flags Great Adventure)
Brett: Now, are the monkeys going to unbuckle my seatbelt and take me?
Quote #1239Score: 15 + / -
Bryce: Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me a million times... REALLY shame on me..
Quote #1238Score: 6 + / -
[16:10:30] <james> 2 grown men riding a coaster meant for 6 year olds isnt gay!
[16:10:32] <james> its
[16:10:34] <james> :-/
[16:10:37] <james> I guess you're right.
[16:10:48] <yatpay> lol, when did we become grown men :(
[16:11:03] <james> last week I think.
[16:11:06] <yatpay> LMFAO
Quote #1237Score: 4 + / -
yatpay: Do you know the name of the sun?
Bryce: Yeah.
yatpay: ...well?
Bryce: .....Edgar.
Quote #1236Score: 16 + / -
[13:28:19] <becky> i'm eating a sandwich
[13:28:25] <becky> idk why i told u that just fyi i guess
Quote #1235Score: 0 + / -
[23:21:16] <tony> It's an odd and disturbing process that many anime characters seem to degrade into looking like me.
Quote #1234Score: 23 + / -
18:58:27 <yatpay> "yatpay has learned EGGWHITE_OMELETTE"
18:59:36 <yatpay> "yatpay forgot GAIN WEIGHT"
19:01:05 <Topaz> i like how normal people say "oh hey, i learned to make eggwhite omelettes so i can lose some weight"
19:01:11 <Topaz> and we make an elaborate pokemon reference
Quote #1233Score: 5 + / -
[13:57:33] <lone_beaver> nobody is on linkedin
[13:57:35] <yatpay> i am
[13:57:36] <lone_beaver> this site is fucking useless
[13:57:41] <lone_beaver> i will link to you
[13:57:50] <yatpay> lol, that may be a bad thing for your career
[13:57:53] <lone_beaver> it took me a second to remember what your name is
[13:57:57] <yatpay> lmao
[13:58:06] <lone_beaver> like... "jp...jp... jayyy p...
Quote #1232Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: Last night on The Colbert Report he goes to a carnival and talks to weird carnies
James: It was Coney Island (denos wonderwheel pakr). I've been there
yatpay: Did you meet Colbert?
James: Yeah, I rode Cyclone with him
yatpay: Wowww
James: No wait, that was Rob.
Quote #1231Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: Hey, 3D Realms is going out of business. Duke Nukem Forever is never going to get finished.
Bryce: And at last the world was quiet.
Quote #1230Score: 11 + / -
[22:26:14] <bryce> having a ps3 would be so exciting
[22:26:22] <yatpay> it's the american dream
Quote #1229Score: 7 + / -
(Brett is in China)
[17:35:45] <yatpay> how's the air?
[17:36:12] <lone_beaver> literally like grand theft auto
[17:36:19] <lone_beaver> shit just fades into view it is so smoggy
[17:37:20] <lone_beaver> there are more similarities between gta and china than i am comfortable with
Quote #1228Score: 13 + / -
(Moments after getting his masters degree in Business)
Brett: Brett is evolving! Brett has learned "Business." Brett has forgotten "Economics."
Quote #1227Score: 3 + / -
[10:10:28] <lone_beaver> i think that having an australian accent makes you cool
[10:10:45] <lone_beaver> because to have grown up in australia, there is no way you could have avoided fighting a crocodile
Quote #1226Score: 14 + / -
[23:03:26] <yatpay> http://pics.yatpay.net/08-05-10/53259.jpg
[23:03:42] <bryce> haha
[23:03:48] <bryce> a saiyan to be proud of
[23:03:56] <bryce> i feel like james was sent here to destroy us
[23:03:58] <bryce> but forgot
[23:04:04] <bryce> and now just parties
Quote #1225Score: 11 + / -
(On Omegle)
You: she hates math
Stranger: i [do] too
You: haha, why are you a math teacher then??
Stranger: i must face my fear
Quote #1224Score: 5 + / -
[14:37:17] <Topaz> i love when my loaves of bread have a multiple of four slices of bread
[14:37:23] <Topaz> so i don't need two loaves to make sandwiches
[14:38:55] <yatpay> why multiples of four?
[14:39:01] <Topaz> because i make two sandwiches
[14:39:04] <Topaz> one is insufficient
[14:39:29] <yatpay> ohhhhkay...
Quote #1223Score: 6 + / -
(Talking about the free 3D glasses handed out for Superbowl commercials)
Brett: Why don't people take 100 of them?
yatpay: Why would they do that?
Brett: To see in 100 dimensions?
Quote #1222Score: 4 + / -
[22:41:12] -!- lone_beaver is away: Away
[22:41:12] <lone_beaver> Nothing is as far away as one minute ago. - Jim Bishop
[22:42:12] <yatpay> Nothing is as far away as an adjacent square. - A Bishop
Quote #1221Score: 6 + / -
[14:05:03] <yatpay> lol, you need to tell rosie that just signing off in the middle of a conversation is no good
[14:06:02] <lone_beaver> she would probably just stop listening half way through me explaining it to her
Quote #1220Score: 11 + / -
(Via SMS)
yatpay: the mappy champion is in this [documentary]. greg bond
Bryce: It is an important and unforgettable moment when you learn the name of your greatest rival
Quote #1219Score: 13 + / -
[13:24:28] <mel> The vending machine is full of chips
[13:24:35] <mel> But I am not
Quote #1218Score: 6 + / -
[19:53:39] <yatpay> you know... when you hear the plot for the metal gear games summed up in a few minutes.... it sounds fucking insane
[19:54:28] <lone_beaver> i am pretty sure that when you hear the plot for the metal gear games summed up over the course of a few games... it sounds fucking insane
Quote #1217Score: 4 + / -
[13:32:18] <lone_beaver> In Asia and England, a black cat is considered lucky.
[13:32:44] <yatpay> In the black cat community, Asia and England are considered unlucky.
[13:35:13] <lone_beaver> haha, i totally didnt register cat when you wrote that
[13:35:24] <lone_beaver> In the black community, Asia and England are considered unlucky.
Quote #1216Score: 12 + / -
[13:16:20] <lone_beaver> howdy
[13:16:29] <lone_beaver> A giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue.
[13:16:58] <yatpay> i have no clever response
[13:18:17] <lone_beaver> you say that like i expected you to
[13:18:22] <lone_beaver> i am only educating you
[13:18:30] <lone_beaver> o
[13:19:01] <yatpay> where did that extra o come from?
[13:20:10] <lone_beaver> i was worried that that should have been a too instead of to
[13:20:17] <lone_beaver> so i tagged on that extra o, just incase
[13:20:23] <lone_beaver> save it up if you dont need it
[13:20:55] <yatpay> ok
Quote #1215Score: 8 + / -
[15:42:12] <lone_beaver> Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
[15:42:19] <lone_beaver> The heaviest dog ever weighed 319 pounds.
[15:42:44] <yatpay> venus was the heaviest dog to ever rotate clockwise
[15:43:41] <lone_beaver> 319 pounds is the heaviest venus to rotate ever
[15:44:48] <yatpay> dog is the venusest 319 pounds to be clockwise
Quote #1214Score: 3 + / -
15:24:21] <yatpay> Good news everyone! I made you hear things in the professor's voice against your will again!
[15:25:50] <lone_beaver> ahhhh!
[15:25:59] <lone_beaver> professor! get out of my head!
Quote #1213Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: Aw, I got snipped. I mean sniped!
Quote #1212Score: 9 + / -
Bryce: I think scratch and sniff could save the newspaper industry because you can't smell the internet.
Quote #1211Score: 12 + / -
[15:12:59] <lone_beaver> some guy wrote something up in microsoft word
[15:13:07] <lone_beaver> and then faxed it to me
[15:13:11] <lone_beaver> im like, wtf is wrong with you
Quote #1209Score: 7 + / -
(Describing the process of making a taco)
Bryce: Mmm, you get all the fixins, put it all on there, bunch of beef, put it on a bun.. no wait, that's a hamburger.
Quote #1208Score: 8 + / -
[15:38:49] <yatpay> gimme a sec
[15:49:25] <bryce> curse you and you abnormally long seconds
Quote #1207Score: 4 + / -
[16:16:44] <yatpay> lol, how do you see submarines from a tower?
[16:17:12] <james> zoom?
[16:17:24] <yatpay> yeah but they're under water!
[16:17:32] <james> underwater zoom
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Quote Greats

Bryce - 174

James - 134

Brett - 133

Mel - 82

Tony - 75

yatpay - 65

Topaz - 56

Vic - 50

Wacko - 49

Becky - 48

Clark James - 38

Brandon - 32

Shawn - 32

Suz - 29

Nugget - 23

Muffie - 22

Mike - 19

Beager - 17

Matt C - 16

Dr. Peterson - 15

Mr. Reilly - 15

Nick - 15

Phil - 14

Goran - 13

Beany - 12

Rosie - 12

Yatpay's Dad - 12

Ms. Whitner - 11

Amanda - 10

Tekdino - 10

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