Welcome to the quotes page. When people say funny things, I write them down. I started doing this some time in 2003 and the collection has been steadily growing ever since. Around 2006 I introduced the voting system. If you like a quote, click the up arrow, if you don't like it, click the down arrow. That's it! Enjoy!
Quote #1201Score: 5 + / -
[20:00:29] <yatpay> are you saying my couch could solve world hunger by having people eat endless crumbs off it?
[20:00:46] <Topaz> yes, of course
[20:00:55] <yatpay> that's the grossest thing i've ever heard
Quote #1200Score: 13 + / -
Topaz: Matthew 6:28; And Lo, the Lord did then gain 260 pounds and live henceforth on His Couch.
Quote #1199Score: 13 + / -
yatpay: Hey, [while you are in Worcester] you should to to That's Entertainment and find me an N64 controller that works and isn't sticky.
Bryce: Alright, but it will be broken and sticky.
Quote #1198Score: 6 + / -
(Bryce was trying to find a Netflix DVD to return)
Bryce: Well, worst case scenario I already sent it back.
yatpay: No, worst case scenario is that it's under your bed or something! Having sent it back is the best case scenario!
Bryce: Oh! Oh goddamit you're right! Why'd you have to tell me? I could've been happy!
Quote #1197Score: 19 + / -
[00:49:19] <yatpay> bryce can't go to anime boston
[00:49:43] <brandon> why?
[00:49:44] <brandon> work?
[00:49:56] <yatpay> yeah, not many days odd
[00:49:58] <yatpay> off
[00:50:02] <yatpay> plenty of days odd
[00:50:13] <brandon> oh yeah
[00:50:18] <brandon> almost all days odd
[00:50:23] <yatpay> hahahaha
Quote #1193Score: 19 + / -
(Via text message)
Bryce: [Some doctors] found a foot growing in a baby's brain.
yatpay: Now that's thinking on your feet
Quote #1191Score: 10 + / -
(From his video blog)
Mike: [...] now that it's getting colder.. I mean, it's December today, for the first time.. you know, since last year.
Quote #1190Score: 22 + / -
(This conversation was via text message)
yatpay: I'm at the gym and bored. Entertain me.
Brett: How am I supposed to entertain you?
yatpay: Pawn to e3
Brett: That's a terrible opening move. Pick another one.
yatpay: Rook to your king
Brett: Now you're thinking with portals.
Quote #1189Score: 20 + / -
yatpay: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Bryce: No clue.
yatpay: Where you left it.
Bryce: What if it rolled away?
yatpay: That's trouble.
Bryce: But adorable
Quote #1187Score: 6 + / -
[13:52:08] <becky> mom texted me at 915 am sayin
[13:52:13] <becky> "get up and get the beer out of your car."
Quote #1186Score: 10 + / -
[11:25:29] <becky> ya but i'm nervous b/c i still have teeth growing in... lol
[11:25:56] <yatpay> lol, do you really?
[11:25:59] <yatpay> you mutant
[11:26:06] <becky> haha ya my 12 year molars!!
[11:26:25] <becky> speaking of 12
[11:26:29] <becky> guess who's 21 soon!!!!!
Quote #1184Score: 22 + / -
Bryce: (In a text message) I hear Fallout 3's design system was the Gameboy Color, but the PC port is passable
Quote #1183Score: 5 + / -
[23:14:40] <yatpay> did you know that the thing that makes farts stink regulates your blood pressure?
[23:15:21] <bryce> i did not
[23:15:30] <bryce> and i already forgot
[23:15:31] <bryce> lol
Quote #1182Score: 12 + / -
[15:16:26] <yatpay> 58609.jpg
[15:17:48] <Topaz> what it is?
[15:18:26] <yatpay> In computing, JPEG (pronounced JAY-peg; IPA: /'d3elp3g/) is a commonly used method of compression for photographic images.
[15:19:57] <Topaz> In computing, Stab You in the Face (pronounced STAH-bih yi-ew in theh fay-se) is a commonly used method of STABBING YOU IN THE FACE.
Quote #1180Score: 6 + / -
[13:27:50] <yatpay> so.. the IT department has two identical video cameras. each about the size of a soda can
[13:27:52] <yatpay> do you know what the first thing i thought of was?
[13:29:40] <bnmstinker> rolling them into a ball to make a star?
Quote #1178Score: 5 + / -
03:10:59 <yatpay> shit is far away
Quote #1177Score: 12 + / -
yatpay: Every person in this [sign language video dictionary] has the same expression. They're all frowning and shaking their heads.
Bryce: Cause they're deaf. Makes them sad.
Quote #1176Score: 26 + / -
Bryce: That's what separates Jesus from the rest of us. He can ghostride a motorboat.
Quote #1175Score: 10 + / -
21:38:51 <Wacko> there are things hidden in tinyurls that I wouldn't wish upon anyone
Quote #1174Score: 17 + / -
19:40:15 <yatpay> can you hold your breath for a minute?
19:41:17 <Bryce> i dunno
19:41:19 <Bryce> i don't want to try
19:41:23 <yatpay> http://www.cubetimer.com
19:41:29 <yatpay> convenient timer! :D
19:41:48 <Bryce> well i am not trying lol
19:41:53 <yatpay> boooo
19:41:54 <Bryce> i thought i made that abundantly clear
19:41:58 <yatpay> lol, what are you afraid of
19:42:06 <Bryce> dying
Quote #1173Score: 9 + / -
17:01:04 <Bryce> back ffrom to the super markety
Quote #1172Score: 9 + / -
16:17:51 <+ciel> i am totally certain that i mispelled medieval, but i am too lazy to look up the correct spelling
16:18:31 <+yatpay> no that's right
16:18:33 -moderator:#xkcd-signal- yatpay, you have been muted for 17 minutes 4 seconds.
16:18:36 -!- mode/#xkcd-signal [-v yatpay] by moderator
16:19:04 <+ciel> alas! poor yatpay
16:20:11 <+ciel> reassuring me, he found
16:20:16 <+ciel> moderator's wrath
16:20:17 -moderator:#xkcd-signal- ciel, you have been muted for 4 minutes 16 seconds.
16:20:20 -!- mode/#xkcd-signal [-v ciel] by moderator
Quote #1171Score: 9 + / -
22:05:01 <lone_beaver> what? you think you have the right to keep steven seagal to yourself?
22:05:01 * lakitu drops a spiny on lone-beaver
22:05:06 <lone_beaver> MOTHER FUCKER
22:05:14 <lone_beaver> I WILL KILL YOU
22:05:23 <yatpay> lmfao
Quote #1170Score: 4 + / -
14:08:46 <yatpay> canaaadiiiaaa
14:08:49 <yatpay> canaaaadiiiaaa
14:08:51 <yatpay> canadia, fuck yeah!
14:09:23 <Mel> Canada saves the motherfucking day, eh?
14:09:32 <yatpay> lmfao
Quote #1169Score: 7 + / -
(I mentioned how it's hard to talk about video games at work)
09:33:26 <Bryce> you never know
09:33:30 <Bryce> someone might play videogames
09:33:48 <Bryce> i could start with a pong joke
09:33:51 <Bryce> and work my way forward
Quote #1168Score: 14 + / -
10:16:11 <yatpay> i'm in ur ramjet... building.. lol, a scramjet
10:17:14 <Topaz> what's the difference?
10:17:24 <yatpay> ramjet is subsonic
10:17:28 <yatpay> scramjet is supersonic
10:17:47 <yatpay> it does it by sucking all the chaos emeralds into its air intake
10:18:10 <Topaz> aaaahahaha
Quote #1167Score: 6 + / -
18:53:01 <lone_beaver> hey fools
18:53:11 -!- Zoops|bbq has quit
18:53:17 <lone_beaver> one down...
Quote #1165Score: 13 + / -
Becky: What do you want for graduation?
Becky: I'll probably just get you a card.
Becky: I'll probably just send you a text.
Quote #1164Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: (While reading the comics) Zippy got really weird.
yatpay: GOT really weird?
Bryce: Well yeah! Look at this! It's crazy! Usually he's by himself..
Clark James: You're thinking of Ziggy!
Bryce: Oh oh, I am. Never mind.
Quote #1163Score: 13 + / -
(I'm playing a game that keeps making Wii-like 'bloop' noises)
Bryce: What're you playing? Wii?
Bryce: What're you playing? Wii Sports?
yatpay: You can't just keep using the same joke over and over!
Bryce: Do you even KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!?
Quote #1162Score: 8 + / -
Brandon: How did [Brett's brother] break his leg?? He doesn't even drink!
Quote #1161Score: 4 + / -
Bryce: Speaking of.. well, actually speaking of nothing. It just popped into my head randomly. Let's just leave it at that.
Quote #1160Score: 6 + / -
Clark James: *Watching TV* Bears are so weird.. they're like giant badgers! Oh wait.. these are badgers.
Quote #1159Score: 9 + / -
(1:26:01 PM) Wes: and i think it's either my [motherboard] is fried or my [power supply] is done
(1:26:05 PM) Wes: any easy way to check that?
(1:26:28 PM) Wacko: one of them confangled voltage tester thingies
(1:26:47 PM) Wes: don't have one
(1:26:58 PM) Wacko: you have a tongue, don't you?
Quote #1158Score: 5 + / -
Clark James: Ugh, I've hit a new low.. I lost another pair of shoes.
Quote #1157Score: 3 + / -
[14:25:06] <Becky> omg
[14:25:15] <Becky> i think i just realized why it's called a "qwerty" keyboard
[14:25:17] <Becky> hahahahah
Quote #1156Score: 11 + / -
[14:42:34] <Topaz> if i make a university, i think i'll name it 'CRUSH U'
Quote #1155Score: 14 + / -
Clark James: I thought you were coming back! I asked and you said "yeah"!
Brett: ..I did come back! I'm here now!
Clark James: ....you got me.
Quote #1154Score: 11 + / -
Brandon: I hate car commercials. I wish I could be a dictator so I could outlaw them... and cancel Christmas.
Quote #1153Score: 11 + / -
Tony: I think I'm going to watch World War.. I mean.. Super Mario Three.
Quote #1152Score: 5 + / -
[11:54:20] <Bryce> i mean come on it smash brothers
[11:54:24] <Bryce> what else we need?
[11:54:35] <yatpay> grammar? =P
[11:54:45] <Bryce> nah
[11:54:50] <Bryce> smash brothers waaay more importnat
[11:55:09] <yatpay> lol
Quote #1151Score: 9 + / -
[01:38:34] <yatpay> lol, james discovered that his shirt came like 8 inches short of his wrists
[01:38:36] <yatpay> cause it was too small
[01:38:41] <yatpay> but he never noticed since he kept the sleeves rolled up
[01:41:17] <Bryce> that is like discovering you were adopted
Quote #1150Score: 9 + / -
yatpay: There is no time when you are wearing pajama pants when you are not happy.
Clark James: True.. unless there's like, poop in them or something.
Clark James: I rest my case.
Quote #1149Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: Uncle Bryce, where do babies come from?
Bryce: Don't call me Uncle Bryce. Papa Bryce, maybe. Uncle Bryce, NEVER!! That's the end of that so let's drop it.
Quote #1148Score: 11 + / -
[09:28:29] <Rosie> is tay zonday really a product of 4chan
[09:28:33] <yatpay> kind of
[09:28:40] <yatpay> i'm sure 4chan was a big part of him catching on
[09:28:49] <yatpay> people don't realize how important 4chan is in today's internet
[09:28:52] <yatpay> it's like.. the rip tide
[09:29:08] <yatpay> so powerful, yet you don't notice it until it pulls you 10 miles out to sea
[09:29:39] <Rosie> or ten miles into an anime chick's ass
Quote #1147Score: 18 + / -
(Brett was working on a group project in a graduate level course. While proofreading a groupmate's paper he found this gem)
"Thirdly, we live in an Informationizational society, the way people work has changed a lot."
Quote #1146Score: 10 + / -
Brett: Did you just kick my bag?
Brett: Cause it's full of beer. And it's bad luck to kick beer.
Quote #1145Score: 3 + / -
[03:38:37] <Topaz> DINOSAUR is evolving!
[03:38:46] <Topaz> DINOSAUR is trying to learn FLY
[03:38:56] <Topaz> But, DINOSAUR can only learn four moves!
[03:39:08] <Topaz> Forget a move to make room for FLY?
[03:39:14] <Topaz> YES >NO
[03:39:26] <Topaz> sorry, ostriches XD
Quote #1143Score: 12 + / -
Bryce: What's that? *points to screen*
yatpay: Stock program
Bryce: For a class?
yatpay: Nope. To make the 'mad monies'.
Bryce: Mad Libs!?
Bryce: Oh. Could you make a program that does Mad Libs?
Quote #1142Score: 10 + / -
(Talking about Mount Everest)
[23:49:44] <yatpay> the standard route has four bases
[23:49:45] <yatpay> and base camp
[23:49:48] <yatpay> then the summit
[23:49:52] <Bryce> kind of like tornado rex
[23:49:55] <yatpay> lol, yeah
Quote #1141Score: 20 + / -
(We were watching a documentary about chocolate so I got up and left the room to buy a chocolate bar. When I came back..)
Rosie: Did you buy chocolate?
Rosie: Don't lie to me, I see that chocolate bar in your pocket.
yatpay: No, Rosie, I'm just glad to see you.
Quote #1140Score: 12 + / -
*Shock the Monkey by Ozzy comes on.. Brett plays it all the time*
yatpay: What's it been like 50 hours since I heard this song?
Brett: 50 hours?? Nah, it's been at least a couple of days.
yatpay: *opens quote adder*
Quote #1139Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: I'm going to wake up at 7:40 and creep up next to your bed and go [*sings a weird song*]
Brett: I'm going to wake up at 7:41 and smack the hell out of you.
Quote #1138Score: 7 + / -
(7:04:41 PM) Wes: Also, do japanese comics read right to left?
(7:04:47 PM) Wacko: Yeah
(7:05:01 PM) Wacko: unless you want to get to the sex scenes quicker
Quote #1137Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: Somehow [Professor Breecher] underestimated the impact of not knowing C would have on our C project.
Ginny: that and *his* not knowing C.
Quote #1136Score: 25 + / -
Bryce: Hey Evan, you hardly working or.. DAMMIT!
Quote #1135Score: 16 + / -
(A game had me and Brett draw pictures of Queen Elizabeth and then compared. You can see the results in this picture)
yatpay: Check out this picture of Queen Elizabeth me and Brett both drew.
Clark James: Were you allowed to open your eyes when you did it?
Clark James: Then what's wrong with Brett's!?
Quote #1134Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: I don't know.. that doesn't really sound like an urban legend to me. I think to be an urban legend it has to involve a killer that.. licks your hand first.
Brett: So you as a killer?
Bryce: .... yeahh...
Quote #1133Score: 24 + / -
Rosie: What would the title of my book be if I had a book?
Quote #1132Score: 40 + / -
Prof. Morris: Well.. we're going to go over [class] time, but you're all math majors, so you're a bunch of losers with nowhere to go anyway.
Quote #1131Score: 14 + / -
yatpay: You should spend an entire day only communicating with that whistle.
Clark James: To whom? Dolphins?
Quote #1130Score: 16 + / -
(Talking about the world's ugliest dog)
Clark James: You know, that dog's dead.
yatpay: I'm pretty sure it was dead when they took that picture.
Clark James: There's a new ugliest dog now. But it's bogus because they always have the same disease... inside-out-dogitus.
Quote #1129Score: 26 + / -
yatpay: Who would pay $50,000 for [a tent that hangs from a tree]?
Brett: Someone who is playing an intense game of "The Floor is Lava"
Quote #1128Score: 6 + / -
[23:49:48] <lone_beaver> what is the band that is like the offspring but not?
[23:49:58] <yatpay> the beatles?
[23:50:07] <lone_beaver> booo
Quote #1127Score: 9 + / -
Brett: I'm going to wake up at 8AM tomorrow.
Brett: Maybe I'll wake up at 8:30.
yatpay: That's the spirit.
Brett: Actually, I'll get up at 9.
yatpay: You better be careful.. by mathematical induction, you're never going to wake up.
Brett: Now there's an idea.
Quote #1126Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: [AMV Hell 4 is] not coming out until tomorrow
Bryce: I am sorry
Tony: Seize him!
Quote #1125Score: 16 + / -
Brett: I'm pretty sure the sandwich dude [at the cafeteria] wrote a gang sign on my sandwich with mustard.
Quote #1124Score: 12 + / -
[00:46:09] <Topaz> oh no
[00:46:13] <yatpay> oh no?
[00:46:19] <Topaz> 'lawl' and 'rawr' are the same in japanese
[00:46:21] <Topaz> XD
Quote #1123Score: 5 + / -
Prof. Morris: So when you were in middle school or junior high or whatever they call it now-a-days... prison for adolescents..
Quote #1122Score: 5 + / -
[15:03:32] <Becky> haha lol
[15:03:34] <Becky> whoa
[15:03:38] <Becky> i just combined haha and lol
Quote #1121Score: 6 + / -
Bryce: If someone farts and nobody smells it, did it really happen? I say no! That's my biological standpoint on it.
Quote #1120Score: 13 + / -
[16:44:42] <yatpay> just because mewtwo has never gone back in time doesn't mean he can't
[16:45:09] <lone_beaver> but there is no evidence that he can
[16:45:24] <yatpay> you have to have faith, brother
[16:45:28] <yatpay> faith in the Lord: Mewtwo
[16:45:32] <lone_beaver> your god is false
[16:45:40] <lone_beaver> superman is the only true Lord
Quote #1119Score: 17 + / -
Bryce: How ya doing you old fish?
Brett: What's up Bryce?
Bryce: Pretty good.
Quote #1118Score: 10 + / -
yatpay's Dad (8:57:13 PM): hello
Becky (8:57:07 PM): hi
yatpay's Dad (8:57:32 PM): that's it......time for popcorn
Quote #1117Score: 4 + / -
Prof. Morris: Notice how the proof starts with nothing and in the end you have nothing... so it's pretty typical of math actually..
Quote #1116Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: I wonder if Bryce landed [in Atlanta] yet?
Rosie: Bryce.. will never land.
Quote #1115Score: 7 + / -
[23:54:24] -!- joe was kicked from #general by codexbot
[23:54:26] < Puddington> :D
[23:54:31] -!- joe has joined #general
[23:54:39] < Puddington> D:
Quote #1114Score: 5 + / -
[21:45:38] <Becky> i gg back to my cosmos
[21:45:39] <Becky> peace
[21:45:44] <yatpay> can you feel the cosmos?
[21:45:53] <Becky> what
[21:45:57] <yatpay> lol, nvm..
[21:46:03] <Becky> haha
[21:46:04] <Becky> k byeee
Quote #1113Score: 16 + / -
[00:53:29] <Tekdino> me and [my sister] Myrre started to think different ways how to tease the killer girl of [The Ring], lol. For example looking the tape in a itty-bitty television so that she doesn't fit to come from it. Maybe a Sony cell phone would be nice
Quote #1109Score: 12 + / -
Clark James: "The Origin of Feces"... that's what I'm going to call my restaurant.
Bryce: Will you have a poo-poo platter? Kids will love it.
Quote #1108Score: 17 + / -
yatpay: So Brett, what have you been up to lately?
Brett: I went to Kansas.
Bryce: What's with you and Kansas lately? Are you a Lord of the Rings fan?
Brett: Yeah.. but what does that have to do wi--
Bryce: Oh, I meant Wizard of Oz.
Quote #1107Score: 5 + / -
[02:21:46] <Topaz> know what animal we need more of?
[02:21:47] <Topaz> beavergulls
[02:22:04] <lone_beaver> too true
[02:22:14] -!-lone_beaver is now known as Beavergull
[02:22:15] <Topaz> <_<
[02:22:22] <Beavergull> whaaaa
[02:22:23] <Beavergull> lol
[02:22:31] <Beavergull> i was agreeing, not volunteering
[02:22:39] <Topaz> TOO LATE BWAHAHAHA
[02:22:42] <yatpay> HAHAHA
[02:22:47] <Tekdino> MUAHAHA
Quote #1106Score: 10 + / -
[01:18:15] <lone_beaver> the AI is stupid, but they are belligerent and numerous
Quote #1105Score: 7 + / -
[16:20:32] <Bryce> "tell target opponent about your butt, put a 1/1 what's up token into play under your control"
Quote #1104Score: 19 + / -
[16:53:03] <yatpay> hey there are free slurpees today
[16:53:04] <yatpay> cause it's 7/11
[16:53:34] <lone_beaver> are you lying to me?
[16:53:41] <yatpay> no
[16:53:42] <lone_beaver> cause i swear to god
[16:53:43] <lone_beaver> i'll kill you
Quote #1103Score: 15 + / -
[01:11:39] <yatpay> [this trip is] my first time outside the eastern time zone =P
[01:11:49] <Bryce> ever?
[01:11:53] <yatpay> ya
[01:11:56] <Bryce> wow
[01:12:04] <Bryce> you need to go east and west more
Quote #1102Score: 7 + / -
[02:33:04] <Commander> lol
[02:33:31] <Commander> for some reason I can't draw real people
[02:33:33] <Commander> whenever I try to
[02:33:37] <Commander> they look like anime
[02:33:39] <Commander> goddammit
[02:33:42] <Commander> its ruining my life ;_;
Quote #1101Score: 10 + / -
[03:26:20] <lone_beaver> jp
[08:33:44] -!- lone_beaver has signed off
Day changed to 27 Jun 2007
Day changed to 28 Jun 2007
[23:44:28] -!- lone_beaver has signed on (last seen: 2 days, 15 hours, 10 minutes, and 44 seconds ago)
[23:57:17] <yatpay> what?
Quote #1100Score: 12 + / -
[03:54:02] <Anonymous> i dunno if id play laser tag in worcester
[03:54:20] <Anonymous> i wouldnt think it below the citizens of worcester to bring real guns
Quote #1099Score: 5 + / -
(Talking about exercising..)
Brett: You have to trick your body. But it's ok, it's stupid. You've got the brain on your side.
Quote #1098Score: 8 + / -
(yatpay calls Brett at 8:05, Eastern Time)
yatpay: Hey, wanna play [a game]?
Brett: You gotta give me about an hour.
yatpay: For what??
Brett: Gotta eat, shower.. I just woke up
yatpay: That's ridiculous, even in your time zone!
Brett: Whaaat? It's only 4!
yatpay: It's 6pm, Mountain Time
Brett: Hang on. ... So it is!
Quote #1097Score: 6 + / -
[02:43:37] <lone_beaver> whats a gui?
[02:43:42] <yatpay> graphical user interface
[02:44:18] <yatpay> pronounced "gooey"
[02:44:29] <yatpay> it weird people out if you're not careful
[02:44:33] <yatpay> "check out the gooey on this website"
[02:44:48] <lone_beaver> its a conversation starter
[02:44:55] <yatpay> aaaaaaaand ender
[02:45:00] <lone_beaver> lol
Quote #1094Score: 21 + / -
[22:04:45] <james> ahahahaha
[22:04:53] <james> I went into this random chat room
[22:05:07] <james> and said hey to the first person to come in after me
[22:05:12] <james> like "Hey (username)"
[22:05:15] <james> they said HI!
[22:05:22] <james> and I said "hows that rash"
[22:05:30] <james> and they said "how did you know?" and left fast
Quote #1093Score: 14 + / -
<yatpay's Dad> I grew up playing army
<yatpay's Dad> where did it get me?
<yatpay's Dad> in the ARMY
Quote #1092Score: 11 + / -
[22:03:50] <bryce> i have to wonder
[22:03:54] <bryce> with so many buyers and sellers
[22:04:00] <bryce> i feel like i could buy low
[22:04:04] <bryce> and sell low?
[22:04:07] <bryce> i mean high
[22:04:08] <bryce> lol
Quote #1091Score: 21 + / -
[00:17:18] <muffie> when's the last time i saw you
[00:17:26] <muffie> like, third grade?
[00:17:33] <muffie> wait no
[00:17:34] <yatpay> lol
[00:17:38] <muffie> that's the FIRST time i saw you
[00:18:05] <yatpay> hahahahahahahaha
Quote #1086Score: 14 + / -
Rosie: I think I'm going to go grab a drink....
yatpay: What kind of drink?
Rosie: .... A non... alcoholic.. beverage drink. A little H, O.... and a 2.. so it's not peroxide.
Quote #1085Score: 14 + / -
yatpay: Rosie's hobby while drunk is to deny that she's drunk.
Rosie: What!!? I'm not drunk!!
Quote #1083Score: 9 + / -
[17:16:39] <mel> The funniest thing just happened in my imagination
[17:17:14] <mel> I just saw Tony run by outside, and 99% of my brain expected a horde of zombies to be chasing him
Quote #1082Score: 10 + / -
Bryce: I'm not at the point in my life when I'm willing to eat a steak and cheese [sub] out of a [cereal] bowl.
Quote #1080Score: 25 + / -
yatpay: I read an article about how people in Baghdad markets are having a tough time selling stuff because people keep setting off bombs.. I had to laugh when they mentioned a dude who has a glasswares shop. That's got to be the worst place for a glasswares shop.
James: ..I would have a bomb store.
yatpay: That would be convenient.
Quote #1079Score: 16 + / -
Rosie: Do you have clippers?
Rosie: Hair clippers.
yatpay: ..I have a lighter.
Quote #1078Score: 27 + / -
yatpay: You could put Linux on [your laptop], it'll boot faster.
Brett: ...and into Linux
Quote #1077Score: 2 + / -
(Talking about selecting classes for next semester)
Prof. Breecher: *To a student* Well, you can't take everything
Jon: That's not what you told me! You tried to set me up for ten classes!
Quote #1076Score: 7 + / -
[23:04:40] <yatpay> ttp://www.yatpay.net/schedule/index.cgi
[23:04:47] <topaz> ah, the ttp protocol
[23:04:49] <topaz> it's been a while
[23:04:52] <yatpay> http://www.yatpay.net/schedule/index.cgi
[23:04:53] <yatpay> lol, shut up
Quote #1075Score: 14 + / -
yatpay: I don't know what I did but I hit that perfect amount of sleep where you just wake up and it's like you were already awake. Nooo problems.
Brett: Lucky you.
yatpay: How you doing?
Brett: I'm about to throw up
Quote #1074Score: 17 + / -
(Tekdino is running a virtual space tourism company in the spaceflight simulator Orbiter)
Tekdino: T+22h I made a [spacewalk] for the first tourist. However one [thruster] was [low on fuel]
Tekdino: so the tourist was lost
Tekdino: his fuel ran out when I tried to get back
Tekdino: and the [spaceship] couldn't make any lower orbit that time
Tekdino: so he should be happy to get little longer trip
yatpay: that's the spirit
(During re-entry, Tekdino's ship experienced gimbal lock and burned up in the atmosphere)
Tekdino: [his ghost]....HE MADE THE GIMBAL LOCK!!
yatpay: his revenge!!
Tekdino: I'm cursed now
Tekdino: I can never go to orbit
Tekdino: because the soul of the "lonely tourist" is there
Tekdino: chasing me
Quote #1073Score: 9 + / -
[14:19:47] <topaz> i just thought of something potentially terrifying
[14:19:50] <yatpay> oh yeah?
[14:19:54] <yatpay> is it the strong force failing?
[14:19:57] <yatpay> cause that keeps me up at night
[14:19:59] <topaz> XD XD
Quote #1072Score: 18 + / -
[23:20:04] <yatpay> how much do you think a hitman goes for
[23:20:19] <lone_beaver> hitman 1?
[23:20:22] <lone_beaver> just borrow it from bryce
[23:20:24] <yatpay> no, _a_ hitman
[23:20:28] <yatpay> you fool!
[23:20:52] <lone_beaver> i imagine that it depends on the quality
[23:21:01] <yatpay> good point
[23:21:03] <lone_beaver> maybe 5,000
[23:21:05] <yatpay> want a job?
[23:21:07] <lone_beaver> yea
[23:21:10] <yatpay> hahaha
[23:21:18] <lone_beaver> and i meant 5000 pounds
[23:21:20] <lone_beaver> of platinum
[23:21:12] <yatpay> LMFAO
Quote #1071Score: 9 + / -
[15:00:44] <clark_james> ill do it when im not so busy
[15:00:48] <yatpay> okee
[15:00:52] <clark_james> with youtube
[15:01:23] <yatpay> pffffft
Quote #1070Score: 12 + / -
Tekdino: lol, don't get me wrong, I'm not 24/7 hiding in shadows scaring people
Quote #1069Score: 7 + / -
[21:10:09] yatpay: drunk + [urban exploration] = DEATH
[21:10:17] wacko: pshhh hahahaha
[21:10:30] wacko: drunk + [urban exploration] = I CAN FLYYY
Quote #1068Score: 13 + / -
yatpay: Why is it that all of these math books have skydiving and bungee jumping? It's like they're trying to say they're the same thing.
Prof. Sternberg: Well, they are. One kills you quickly, one kills you slowly.
Quote #1067Score: 3 + / -
[14:09:15] <topaz> so i am doing load testing on the new environment
[14:09:24] <topaz> i wrote a pair of php/perl scripts
[14:09:32] <topaz> they both factor a 14-digit number
[14:09:40] <topaz> perl takes a few seconds
[14:09:47] <topaz> php takes SEVENTEEN EONS
Quote #1066Score: 16 + / -
Student #1: What's a good score [for the homework]?
Prof. Sternberg: 12/12.
Student #1: What's a decent score?
Prof. Sternberg: 11/12..
Student #2: What's a bad score?
Prof. Sternberg: Yours.
Quote #1065Score: 22 + / -
James: I'm all emo'ed out today.. black shoes, black pants, black shirt, black hat.. *helicopter flies by* .....black hawk....
Quote #1064Score: 21 + / -
yatpay's Dad: There was some movie from the 1930s...
yatpay: Die Hard?
yatpay's Dad: No, no, it was in black and white and--
yatpay: Jurassic Park?
yatpay's Dad: Nooo! It was all about how pot made you crazy and--
yatpay: The Lion King?
Quote #1063Score: 8 + / -
[19:32:46] <mel> I dunno what kind of movie Bailey is making for health class, but she just asked me for a sparkled top hat and a bottle of blood
Quote #1062Score: 10 + / -
(Talking about why I have the Finnish version of the Duck Tales theme song
Tekdino: aren't your friends wondering why finland
yatpay: lol, finnish was probably just used because it's a totally random country
that nobody knows anything about =P
Tekdino: hahahahah, I live in totally random country!
Tekdino: random cities, random trees, random people
yatpay: totally random
Tekdino: when I go out, I see random things
Tekdino: my house changes place etc
yatpay: of course
Tekdino: haha, I started to imagine
Tekdino: how I go to restaurant
Tekdino: -can I have random food?
Tekdino: -ok, the price is random
Quote #1061Score: 17 + / -
(I said something to Bryce and then left the computer. I came back a while later and found this.... For maximum effect read it out loud. No really, just do it.)
[19:15:52] <bryce> is tony there?
[19:16:00] <bryce> we coudl play marvel
[19:16:01] <bryce> lol
[19:16:28] <bryce> hmmm
[19:16:30] <bryce> hurry hurry
[19:16:33] <bryce> PUNK-A
[19:17:51] <bryce> hello
[19:17:52] <bryce> jp
[19:17:57] <bryce> want to break a record
[19:17:59] <bryce> let's od it
[19:18:04] <bryce> EVERYBODY DANCE NOW
[19:19:05] <bryce> hello?
[19:19:07] <bryce> puppy?
[19:19:12] <bryce> tadpole?
[19:19:14] <bryce> dragonfly
[19:19:16] <bryce> snake
[19:19:18] <bryce> SNAKE
[19:19:26] <bryce> SNAAAAAAKEEEEE
[19:19:37] <bryce> i wonder how you spell tobasco
[19:19:39] <bryce> TABACO
[19:19:45] <bryce> I MEAN TABASCO
[19:19:52] <bryce> you know where the real money is?
[19:19:54] <bryce> phone books
[19:21:30] <bryce> hey jp
[19:21:37] <bryce> the tidal wave foiled your oooool
[19:21:42] <bryce> let's go to the prom
[19:21:47] <bryce> i can wear
[19:21:50] <bryce> my CORE SET
[19:21:52] <bryce> hehehehe
[19:22:08] <bryce> Ravnica is like a jello pudding pop
[19:22:09] <bryce> no no
[19:22:20] <bryce> jazz is like the new coke it will be around forever
[19:22:30] <bryce> i mean ravnica is like the new coke
[19:22:55] <bryce> kids they play with time spiral
[19:23:00] <bryce> gives them the brain damage
[19:23:15] <bryce> so they don't know what the color pie is all about
[19:24:13] <bryce> POKEMON
[19:25:05] <bryce> hey ash
[19:25:07] <bryce> what
[19:25:10] <bryce> sing me a song dawg
[19:25:17] <bryce> you mean a song about my giant slong
[19:25:20] <bryce> dawg
[19:25:59] <bryce> yo yo
[19:26:24] <bryce> hey goku
[19:26:32] <bryce> i don't even own a book
[19:26:35] <bryce> NOOOOO
[19:26:39] <bryce> Why absolutely
[19:26:52] <bryce> if someone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable
[19:26:58] <bryce> that is nooooo gooooood
[19:27:07] <bryce> ugh can't this meeeting be over
[19:27:11] <bryce> we playing marvel?
[19:27:13] <bryce> ask tony
[19:27:14] <bryce> please
[19:27:16] <bryce> okay i will
[19:27:22] <bryce> hey tony we playing marvel?
[19:27:24] <bryce> i dunno
[19:27:32] <bryce> i think we should it not like i got something better to do
[19:27:50] <bryce> except maybe i dunno
[19:31:39] <bryce> so funk brother
[19:31:41] <bryce> what up
[19:31:44] <bryce> we going to do somehting
[19:31:45] <bryce> cool
[19:31:51] <bryce> like iceberg letuce
[19:31:53] <bryce> i am bore
[19:31:53] <bryce> d
[19:31:55] <bryce> w
[19:31:55] <bryce> h
[19:31:56] <bryce> e
[19:31:57] <bryce> r
[19:31:57] <bryce> e
[19:31:59] <bryce> y
[19:31:59] <bryce> o
[19:32:00] <bryce> u
[19:32:03] <bryce> ?
[19:32:03] <bryce> ?
[19:32:04] <bryce> ?
[19:32:04] <bryce> ?
[19:32:08] <bryce> you know what i realized
[19:32:11] <bryce> i am so cool
[19:32:17] <bryce> i mean i am still finding things to talk about
[19:32:20] <bryce> you might say
[19:32:24] <bryce> "hey bryce why don't you shut up"
[19:32:48] <bryce> "well i got a a lot stuff to say
[19:32:51] <bryce> mutha fucka
[19:32:57] <bryce> so anyway if nick asks
[19:33:01] <bryce> we have reserved the ps2
[19:33:04] <bryce> for marvel
[19:33:06] <bryce> so says bryce
[19:33:07] <bryce> so says I
[19:33:10] <bryce> so says my butt
Quote #1060Score: 13 + / -
Prof. Sternberg: So when you're doing the computations...... now I've got you. *Walks across room and kicks sleeping student in the leg*
Prof. Sternberg: Got you.
Student: This is the first time though.
Prof. Sternberg: Well, I couldn't jump [to the back of the room] to get you the other times you are sleeping.
Quote #1059Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: they call it "The T" in boston
yatpay: there's the orange line, red line, blue line, and green line
yatpay: my house is near the orange line
Tekdino: we have only one line :/
Tekdino: and only in Helsinki
Tekdino: it goes from west (mostly rich area) to east ("strange" districts)
yatpay: the strange districts?
Tekdino: people don't like them
Tekdino: because the people living there
Tekdino: it's strange
Tekdino: I'm too living in a "bad discrict" but it's not bad
Tekdino: it's just normal with bad repuation
yatpay: that is strange
Tekdino: it makes "normal" people to move there
Tekdino: for example my area has many strange people
Tekdino: but most of them are normal
Tekdino: like me
Quote #1056Score: 14 + / -
Brett: A lot of times I wish my teachers have died over the weekend.
Quote #1055Score: 10 + / -
Bryce: I wish wind was made out of food.
Quote #1054Score: 8 + / -
Brett: I hate walking around with one shoe on.
Quote #1052Score: 17 + / -
yatpay: I got Daylight [from Netflix].
Bryce: Which one is that?
yatpay: The one with Sylvester Stallone in a commuter tunnel that collapses and he has to lead all the commuters to safety because the water is rising.
Bryce: Is that in the Lincoln Tunnel?
yatpay: I don't know.
Bryce: I'm trying to remember if I've seen this one..
yatpay: Have you seen another movie with Sylvester Stallone in a commuter tunnel that collapses where he has to lead all the commuters to safety because the water is rising.. in a different tunnel??
Bryce: I guess not.
Quote #1051Score: 12 + / -
Bryce: A gumball in the machine is a quarter in my pocket.
Quote #1050Score: 9 + / -
Bryce: You ever feel like the only thing about you that's real is your burps?
Quote #1049Score: 9 + / -
(While watching DBZ.. a comet is going to hit the planet)
Tony: Are comets even a big threat anymore?
yatpay: Yeah, can't the Saiyans just blow it up?
Bryce: This comet is the size of... fifteen... galaxies.
yatpay: Oh yeah? What's it orbiting around?
Bryce: ..the universe.
Quote #1048Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: I'm gonna be honest, I don't think Blizzard is ever going to make another game after World of Warcraft.
Brett: No! They're working on like six right now!
Quote #1047Score: 5 + / -
(Bryce is eating a Twix with a little left)
Alicia: Can I have the last bite?
Bryce: Sure, but it's not the last bite yet! *bite* ... *hands over half a bite of Twix*
Alicia: You're such a stinge!
Quote #1046Score: 1 + / -
(Talking about getting Mo, the cat, into the car without him freaking out)
yatpay: You should park in the garage so he can't tell he's outside.
yatpay: So that way he won't see the sky and freak out.
Mel: He also can't see the sky if he's in a bag!
Quote #1045Score: 10 + / -
(Talking about World of Warcraft)
Brett: Some races can revive themselves.
yatpay: That's a neat trick, how do you do something once you're dead?
Brett: They attach their souls to something.
Bryce: Like a bird?
Quote #1044Score: 16 + / -
[03:26:13] <yatpay> i have dirt in my eye
[03:26:20] <topaz> oh, poor you
[03:26:28] <topaz> i have a huge piece of acrylic plastic in my eye
[03:26:31] <yatpay> lol
[03:26:33] <yatpay> oh noes!!
Quote #1042Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: It's kind of funny how most people forgot that the World Trade Center was bombed before 9/11.
Brett: It was?
yatpay: Yeah, they set off a huge truck bomb in the basement in 1993. A few people died and it messed up the buildings.
Bryce: They didn't fall down though right?
yatpay and Brett: ....
Bryce: Oh right.
Quote #1041Score: 3 + / -
Brett: *Doing math homework* What the hell?? In this problem, they're describing a sphere, but they don't call it a sphere, they call it a "spherical cancerous tumor".
Quote #1040Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: Brett, what show did you watch as a little kid?
Brett: What do you mean?
yatpay: Like, what did you spend all day watching.
Brett: I watched everything but I hated every minute of it.
Quote #1039Score: 5 + / -
[01:30:17] <wacko> you heard about the time the cops busted me and a friend after exploring didn't you?
[01:30:41] <yatpay> the one where they thought you were being gay in the corner?
[01:30:42] <yatpay> lol
[01:30:46] <wacko> haha yeah
[01:30:50] <wacko> everyone's so anal these days
[01:30:54] <yatpay> haha
[01:30:54] <yatpay> i get it
[01:31:01] <wacko> :)
Quote #1038Score: 6 + / -
[23:48:42] <@yatpay> hey bot, remind me to add more functionality to yatbot later
[23:48:42] -!- yatbot [firstname.lastname@example.org] has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
Quote #1037Score: 8 + / -
[15:15:01] -!- Topaz[nonedible] is now known as Topaz
[15:15:07] < yatpay[afk]> he's edible!!
[15:15:08] < yatpay[afk]> get him!!!!!
[15:15:13] < Topaz> XD XD XD
[15:15:20] -!- You're now known as yatpay[cannibal]
Quote #1036Score: 7 + / -
[21:40:26] <yatpay>: brb, time to make pizza
[21:40:49] <topaz>: woooo, best break ever
[21:40:57] <topaz>: i'd make pizza too
[21:41:04] <topaz>: if i had an oven... and some pizza
Quote #1035Score: 16 + / -
[11:59:49] <yatpay> maannn alcohol makes you have the craziest dreams
[12:00:04] <topaz> ...SURPRISE! Those weren't dreams! >_>
Quote #1034Score: 6 + / -
(Smashley is taking astronomy)
[19:22:24] <brandon> jp, ashley doesn't understand planes as an abstract or even a practical concept
[19:22:29] <brandon> so i can't explain to her anything
Quote #1033Score: 4 + / -
(Computer Science Linux Lab computers...)
[14:17:16] <chris> omg
[14:17:22] <chris> they're named after MATEMATICIANS
[14:17:53] <chris> timberlake's a mathematician? why the hell was he ever in a boy band then?
[14:17:59] <yatpay> lol
[14:18:06] <yatpay> no, timberlake is justin timberlake
[14:18:08] <yatpay> spears is britney spears
[14:18:19] <yatpay> because "the machine is sexy"
[14:18:24] <yatpay> and she was too at the time
[14:18:28] <yatpay> (and her and timberlake were going out)
[14:18:32] <yatpay> lol, i had nothing to do with it
[14:18:53] <chris> you're serious here
[14:18:57] <yatpay> ya
[14:18:59] <yatpay> for true
[14:19:02] <chris> i'm so sorry for you
[14:19:02] <yatpay> it's even in C-SAW
[14:19:09] <chris> wow
[14:19:12] <chris> that's... horrible
[14:19:15] <yatpay> lol
[14:19:22] <chris> i'm never sshing into timberlake again
[14:19:26] <yatpay> hahahaha
[14:19:30] <yatpay> it soudns so dirty now, doesn't it?
[14:19:36] <chris> hahahaha
[14:19:40] <chris> horribly
[14:19:46] <yatpay> "oh man, i was SSHing into timberlake and spears _all night long_"
[14:20:06] <chris> please stop
[14:20:10] <chris> i can't laugh in the middle of class
[14:20:18] <yatpay> i know, that's what makes it fun
Quote #1032Score: 9 + / -
Student: Uh, Professor Sternberg, I think you have a mistake.
Prof. Sternberg: You sleep, wake up, and tell me I have a mistake?
Quote #1031Score: 6 + / -
Brett: Nobody likes Cid. ..except me. I'm a big fan of Cid.
Quote #1030Score: -1 + / -
Mel: Fuck grammar! It's night time.
Quote #1029Score: 6 + / -
(James is in Spain)
[16:16:20] friday night i was looking for somewhere secret to pee
[16:16:27] <yatpay> lol, somewhere secret..
[16:16:27] and i saw a guy just peeing
[16:16:37] <yatpay> hahaha
[16:16:46] so i didnt feel bad about peein on a residential door
[16:16:56] <yatpay> lmao
[16:17:09] yeah i said secret cause i wasnt sure how to spell discrete
[16:17:16] <yatpay> lol
[16:17:22] <yatpay> and that's the wrong kind of discrete
[16:17:24] <yatpay> that's math discrete
[16:17:28] <yatpay> you want discreet i think...
[16:17:30] thats what i meant
[16:17:39] the math one
[16:17:42] <yatpay> lmfao
Quote #1028Score: 22 + / -
[14:26:11] <topaz> i have an easy solution for you
[14:26:27] <topaz> well, the solution is for you
[14:26:29] <topaz> the easy is for me
Quote #1027Score: 6 + / -
Brett: I could be a race car driver.
yatpay: It gets hot in there.
Brett: I like hot.
yatpay: 130 degrees hot?
Brett: I won't be satisfied until I am in the sun. Just the outer part, I don't like pressure.
Quote #1026Score: -2 + / -
[16:33:31] <chris> i really am lost with computers when you're not in the building, lol
Quote #1025Score: 15 + / -
yatpay's Dad (to Becky): Nighty night sweetie
yatpay's Dad (to yatpay): ..Bye.
Quote #1024Score: 16 + / -
Tekdino: lol, no European [space] shuttles yet
yatpay: you europeans are slackers, lol
Tekdino: We don't need shuttles because we use teleport; oops
Quote #1023Score: -6 + / -
(Mel is sick)
[17:20:53] <yatpay> any ideas on forum sections?
[17:21:13] <mel> oh ummm
[17:21:14] <mel> not really
[17:21:18] <mel> thats kinda weird
[17:21:20] <mel> likkkke
[17:21:53] <mel> Physics...
[17:22:06] <yatpay> lol, wtf are you talking about?
[17:22:55] <mel> DONT YOU KNOW NOT TO ASK ME THINGS WHEN I AM SIX?
[17:23:09] <yatpay> uhh
[17:23:11] <yatpay> lol
[17:23:12] <yatpay> ok
[17:23:14] <mel> sick
[17:23:16] <mel> not six
[17:23:18] <mel> i grew upe
[17:23:21] <yatpay> lmao
[17:23:22] <mel> tallish
[17:23:25] <mel> not really
Quote #1022Score: 5 + / -
(After about 15 minutes without talking..)
[01:23:59] <chris> lol
[01:24:13] <chris> i don't know what i just lol'ed at, sorry
Quote #1021Score: 4 + / -
[03:43:56] <topaz> OH YEAH
[03:43:57] <topaz> OKAY
[03:43:59] <yatpay> lol
[03:43:59] <yatpay> WHOA
[03:44:00] <yatpay> CAPS TIME
[03:44:02] <topaz> WOO HI CAPSLOCK
[03:44:03] <yatpay> LETS BE ALL CAPS
[03:44:20] <yatpay> HAHA, I HATE THIS
[03:44:35] <topaz> I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT
[03:44:40] <yatpay> AHHHHHH
[03:45:20] <topaz> ACTUALLY, CAPS LOCK IS THE X2 SPEED BUTTON IN THE GAME I'M PLAYING RIGHT NOW
[03:45:34] <yatpay> LOL
[03:46:58] <topaz> XD
[03:47:14] <yatpay> that was confusing in caps mode
[03:47:56] <topaz> YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S PAST TENSE OR SOMETHING
[03:48:04] <yatpay> HAHAHA
Quote #1020Score: 10 + / -
Clark James: It's hard to draw a squid without drawing a phallus.
Quote #1019Score: 7 + / -
(Talking about a picture of Britney Spears' vagina that had been circulating around the internet..)
yatpay: It's kind of crooked.
Rosie: Yeah.. it's got a bit of a slant.
Bryce: Which way?
yatpay: Her left.
Bryce: Ah, we're not compatible then.
Quote #1018Score: 13 + / -
[03:05:17] <yatpay> i think strange things sometimes... one of the [night custodians] just walked by and i was like "maybe i'll catch him using psychic powers because he doesn't think anyone is around"
[03:07:48] <brett> you should think funny stuff at him
[03:07:54] <brett> and if he starts laughing, you know he is reading your mind
Quote #1016Score: 13 + / -
[11:47:33] <james> lol this crazy kid from England IM'd me from TN
[11:47:40] <james> and he keeps using UK slang
[11:47:45] <james> so I don't know what hes talking about!
[11:49:25] <james> he keeps saying like gibbon and ace and bollocks
Quote #1015Score: 8 + / -
[01:46:57] <becky> hahahahhahaha lucky my roomie isn't here cuz i just wouldve woken her up cuz i am LOLing
[01:47:10] <becky> haha i couldve just said lol i guess instead of saying that whole long thing
[01:47:16] <yatpay> yep
Quote #1014Score: 15 + / -
[01:13:25] <yatpay> i wonder how a cat would react to falling out of an airplane
[01:13:32] <yatpay> do you think he would let his guard down after like 30 seconds?
[01:13:48] <brett> i think he wouldnt even bring his guard up until absolutely necessary
[01:14:15] <yatpay> how would he know?
[01:14:18] <brett> it would be like.....falling....falling....falling... wha? oh, ground... i'll just extend my paws like so, and float safely to the ground as though i were a parachute
[01:14:27] <yatpay> lol, is that what they say?
[01:14:30] <yatpay> what if it was dark
[01:14:30] <brett> oh cats know
[01:14:35] <brett> cats dont talk
[01:14:38] <brett> and they can see in the dark
[01:14:41] <brett> dont you know anything?
[01:14:47] <yatpay> what if he was blind
[01:14:53] <yatpay> and falling out of an airplane
[01:15:02] <yatpay> and also has cancer, just as a sidenote
[01:15:08] <brett> he would use sonar
[01:15:11] <brett> like a bat
[01:15:11] <yatpay> LMFAO
Quote #1013Score: 5 + / -
Random Girl: Where [is the space shuttle] going?? The moon? NO! ..the sun??
Quote #1012Score: 32 + / -
yatpay: Does Diglett have a bottom?
yatpay: ..what happens if you just grabbed his head and started pulling?
Brett: He gets longer!
Quote #1010Score: 5 + / -
(Looking at a photoshopped picture of a woman turned into a centaur, but just with extra human legs, not half human, half horse)
Bryce: ..without the tail that wouldn't be that weird.
Clark James: ....it'd still be pretty weird, Bryce.
Quote #1009Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about a paper due in 2 days)
Brett: It was a stats paper... still is a stats paper..
Quote #1008Score: 4 + / -
yatpay: ..well you're weird.
Mel: No I didn't!
yatpay: ...thus confirming my suspicions.
Quote #1007Score: 6 + / -
[13:52:57] <yatpay> *poof*
[13:53:14] <tony> Hey, where'd JP go? And why am I IMing a log?
Quote #1006Score: 5 + / -
Brett: I could fly an airplane [in the Airforce].
yatpay: Yeah, they wouldn't let you though.
Brett: Cause... I got.. no... good.. eyesight?
yatpay: ... that and the stroke.
Quote #1005Score: 0 + / -
[17:36:27] < Topaz> :/
[17:42:46] < __joe[work]> :/
[17:43:26] < yatpay[afk]> :/
[17:43:38] < Puddington[Mdeus]> :\
[17:44:11] < Puddington[RD]> :/
[17:44:16] < Puddington[Mdeus]> XD
Quote #1004Score: 5 + / -
Prof. Rudolph: I was horrified the other day when I realized that I remember the introduction of Magic Markers.
Quote #1003Score: 14 + / -
yatpay's Mom: I don't want you playing [the Nintendo Wii] until finals are over.
yatpay: Are you out of your mind? Do you think I'm just going to have it sitting there, mocking me in the corner?
yatpay's Mom: No, it'll be a reward, so that when you finish your finals and get all A's you can have unfettered use of your Wii.
yatpay: .....OK let's never use that phrase again.
Quote #1002Score: 14 + / -
[18:28:44] <yatpay> i can't wait to not have fucking homework
[18:41:52] <topaz> lol, that sounds like the best kind of homework XD
Quote #1001Score: 12 + / -
[02:42:58] <yatpay> never forget that in a girl's mind it is totally valid to blame you for something they thought you did but later turned out did not
[03:07:34] <topaz> um
[03:07:47] <topaz> the second half of that sentence doesn't even matter
[03:07:51] <topaz> "never forget that in a girl's mind it is totally valid to blame you"
[03:07:56] <topaz> XD
Quote #1000Score: 11 + / -
Brett: Are you sleeping?
yatpay: I'm reading!
Brett: You're not wearing your glasses.
yatpay: I'm nearsighted.
Brett: That's true.
yatpay: ..how do you know?
Brett: I wear your glasses while you're sleeping.
Quote #999Score: 7 + / -
(Talking about James Maxwell's "A Dynamical Theory of the Electromagnetic Field", a groundbreaking paper that lay down the rules for electromagnetism)
Brett: I feel like getting a degree in Economics is easier than reading that paper.
Quote #998Score: 22 + / -
[13:04:14] <tekdino> Imagine yourself in EVA suit full of ants
[13:04:23] <tekdino> floating ants
[13:05:00] <yatpay> AHH!H!!!!!
[13:05:05] <tekdino> yeah
Quote #997Score: 15 + / -
(Bryce is in an Evolution class)
[20:23:31] <bryce> Okay for my debate for evolution
[20:23:38] <bryce> i have to debate against creationism
[20:23:50] <bryce> so i was thinking i would bring a pikachu and thunderstone to class
[20:23:58] <bryce> and bam, i win the debate for evolution
Quote #995Score: 22 + / -
James: Ugg, I feel so sick
yatpay: Did you eat all of those Pringles?
James: Yeah.. I do every time. Which is why I only get them once every two months because I know they'll make me sick
yatpay: Why don't you just not eat them all?
James: Cause you know.. once you pop...
Quote #994Score: 4 + / -
[02:26:36] <yatpay> if we ever find female brandon i feel sorry for her
[02:26:47] <brandon> why?
[02:26:52] <yatpay> 8 feet tall with a beard
[02:27:04] <brandon> because she is constantly harassed by beautiful women who find her so attractive?
Quote #993Score: 28 + / -
(Topaz goes to RIT where there aren't that many female students)
[19:46:26] <yatpay> hahaha, whoooops! i just threw a CD at my roommate as he left the room and it hit some girl walking down the hall
[19:50:28] <topaz> ... i wish we could do that XD
Quote #992Score: 18 + / -
Tekdino: Why it must be so dark out =P
yatpay: cause you live at the north pole!!
Tekdino: I'm not living at the north pole!!!! =P You are living in the west pole!
yatpay: the west pole!!?
Tekdino: haha, yeah
Quote #990Score: 26 + / -
[18:17:23] <yatpay> whoa
[18:17:27] <yatpay> the entire building just shook
[18:17:39] <topaz> sound wave?
[18:17:46] <yatpay> that could have potentially been a small earthquake
[18:17:52] <topaz> seriously?
[18:17:54] <yatpay> considering i'm in the basement
[18:17:55] <yatpay> i'm not sure
[18:17:58] <yatpay> if i imagined it or not
[18:18:03] <yatpay> we'll have to see
[18:18:03] <topaz> heheheh
[18:18:09] <yatpay> lol, uhoh
[18:18:11] <yatpay> i think i know what it is
[18:18:16] <yatpay> i think i built up a harmonic in my chair while typing
[18:18:26] <topaz> uh
[18:18:28] <topaz> what?
[18:18:31] <yatpay> lol
[18:18:33] <yatpay> like...
[18:18:35] <yatpay> my feet are up
[18:18:39] <yatpay> and i'm sitting in a weird way
[18:18:45] <yatpay> so i may have built up a harmonic in my bouncy chair
[18:18:51] <topaz> y'know
[18:18:58] <topaz> i never have to wonder if someone's stolen your aim account
[18:19:05] <yatpay> hahahahahahahahaha
Quote #989Score: 21 + / -
(Talking about Urban Exploration)
[23:43:06] <wacko> movies like oceans 11 give me a hardon
[23:43:14] <yatpay> lol
[23:43:24] <yatpay> just don't let it push you off the ladder =P
[23:43:37] <wacko> my boner?
[23:44:01] <yatpay> lol, yes
[23:44:05] <yatpay> that would be quite an embarassing way to go
[23:44:20] <wacko> I'd get fucked by gravity
[23:44:22] <wacko> literally
Quote #988Score: 10 + / -
Brett: It'd be funny if another planet drove their planet towards ours, and had huge speakers and were playing "Na-naaaa [katamari theme]"
yatpay: Yeah.. but we wouldn't hear it.
Brett: ....it'd be funny to them.
Quote #987Score: 26 + / -
yatpay: 15C and sunny here, you? =P
Tekdino: -3C rainy =P
yatpay: haha, how can it be raining if it's below 0?
Tekdino: why not?
Tekdino: In Titan it's raining and it's -100C
yatpay: yeah, but it's raining METHANE
Tekdino: how you know that it's not raining methane in finland? LOL
Quote #986Score: 12 + / -
(Topaz made me put this up..)
[14:53:03] <yatpay> my classes this semester are challenging but for all the wrong reasons
[14:53:16] <yatpay> like, instead of being challenging like a rubik's cube, it's challenging like trying to drink a whole gallon of milk at once without throwing up
Quote #985Score: 11 + / -
[22:49:02] <yatpay> scientists just invented some new liquid that's better at being blood than blood is
[22:49:34] so are they gonna start draining everyones blood and replacing it?
[22:49:59] with this magic new blood?
[22:50:03] <yatpay> hahaha
[22:50:03] <yatpay> no
[22:50:07] <yatpay> it's for when you're losing blood
[22:50:17] <yatpay> from a gunshot wound or an accident or something
[22:50:28] still sounds like another vampire scam to me
Quote #983Score: 34 + / -
Brett: There's lot you can build with three straws.
yatpay: Such as?
Brett: A triangle.. or a very crude circle.
Quote #982Score: 6 + / -
[21:05:44] <mel> A TOTALLY ALARMING THING JUST HAPPENED
[21:05:56] <yatpay> oh no
[21:05:58] <yatpay> what's that?
[21:06:07] <mel> I JUST FOUND A NICKEL IN MY UNDERWEAR AND I DONT KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE
[21:06:22] <yatpay> LMFAO
Quote #980Score: 2 + / -
[17:04:33] Lone Beaver: i get my news from /b/
Quote #979Score: 11 + / -
(20:25:07) yatpay: what're you up to?
(20:25:11) yatpay: anything fun and exciting?
(20:25:45) topaz: pokemon? >_>
Quote #978Score: 6 + / -
[01:29:31] Anonymous: so we had an excellent idea
[01:30:32] yatpay: oh yeah?
[01:31:15] Anonymous: we smoked a basil blunt
[01:31:48] yatpay: hahaha
[01:33:05] Anonymous: terrible idea.
[01:33:14] yatpay: so what's the excellent idea?
[01:33:44] Anonymous: well, it _was_ an excellent idea
[01:33:49] Anonymous: until we did it
[01:33:53] Anonymous: and realized we were wrong
Quote #977Score: 6 + / -
[14:38:45] yatpay: up for some defcon?
[14:40:07] topaz: lemme finish something first
[14:40:30] yatpay: how long?
[14:40:41] topaz: ermmm, not long
[14:48:35] yatpay: :D?
[14:50:00] topaz: juuuust a sec
[14:52:15] yatpay: :::::::::::::DDDDDDDDDDD??????????
[14:53:12] topaz: WHOA YOU HAVE TWENTY EYES
[14:53:35] yatpay: LMFAO
Quote #976Score: 8 + / -
(After about 20 minutes of watching TV.. Mel made me put this up)
yatpay: ....where are the fucking commercials?
Mel: This is PBS.
yatpay: ..I have things to say!
Quote #975Score: 9 + / -
Brett: There are only two roads to southern New Mexico and one of them I made up.
Quote #974Score: 12 + / -
(While trying to schedule a test)
Professor: How about Friday?
Student #1: But this isn't a Friday class.
Student #2: ..yes it is.
Student #1: It is?
Professor: Yes, we meet Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I guess that would explain why I haven't been seeing you on Fridays.
Student #1: ...I... didn't know any of this.
Quote #973Score: 21 + / -
[12:49:07] james: dood i killed a seagull with my car
[12:49:13] yatpay: oh noes
[12:49:19] yatpay: you monster
[12:50:00] james: yeah
[12:50:04] james: i was going down 95
[12:50:12] james: and there were like 5 in the street
[12:50:15] james: and they all took off
[12:50:19] james: but one was a bit slow
[12:50:19] james: BAM!
[12:50:26] james: *looks back*
[12:50:36] james: cloud-o-gull
[12:50:41] yatpay: hahaha
Quote #971Score: 1 + / -
[12:07:48] yatpay: [link to a NASA image]
[12:07:49] Melvin: [a password]
[12:07:53] yatpay: oh yeah?
[12:09:28] *** "Melvin" signed off at Mon Sep 18 12:09:28 2006.
Quote #970Score: 0 + / -
yatpay: Did you know that female hyenas have penises?
yatpay: Yeah. You know why?
Mel: Cause the male hyenas have vaginas and the scientists are just wicked stupid?
Quote #969Score: 9 + / -
[00:30] Bryce: sup
[00:30] Lone Beaver: howdy
[00:30] Bryce: not much
[00:30] Lone Beaver: what?
Quote #968Score: 11 + / -
[20:20:45] yatpay: [as a TA] i also have to give programming help
[20:21:08] topaz: wooo
[20:21:21] topaz: does that mean you have to help me, too?
[20:22:02] yatpay: are you in CS121?
[20:22:22] topaz: if those security holes are still there, i can be if you give me a sec
[20:22:34] yatpay: LMFAO
Quote #965Score: 2 + / -
[19:24:51] brandon: i like glasses
[19:25:41] brandon: too bad i have perfect vision
[19:25:55] brandon: abnormally good vision actually
[19:26:03] yatpay: heh, aren't you cool
[19:26:05] brandon: yeah
[19:26:08] brandon: i can see through walls
Quote #964Score: 5 + / -
(After listening to a song that I have to listen to for a class that mostly consists of horrible moaning noises and string instruments being tortured)
[23:36:51] brandon: um
[23:36:56] brandon: what class is this
[23:36:59] yatpay: computers and music
[23:37:04] brandon: and is your professor a human?
Quote #963Score: 2 + / -
Bailey: (reading fortune cookie) "You will move to a wonderful new home within the year." ...Mom, are we moving?
Mel's Dad: No, that means you're going to boarding school. My fortune says "Your daughter will be going to a wonderful new boarding school." And my lucky numbers are 46, 5, 31, 18, 49, 3.
Mel: That's the phone number of the boarding school
Quote #962Score: 3 + / -
[11:33:31] John K: Snakes on the motherfucking space probe!
Quote #961Score: 10 + / -
(Rosetta Stone is a language learning program)
[10:39:43] yatpay: get Rosetta Stone
[10:39:45] yatpay: it'll teach you
[10:39:46] yatpay: it's great
[10:39:58] Med usa1861: ....what? doesn't taht help you learn like Greek?
[10:40:15] yatpay: not THE rosetta stone
Quote #960Score: 7 + / -
[02:00:40] nugget: grizzly man was eaten by grizzly bears
[02:00:50] yatpay: yeah, but he was eaten by a random grizzly bear
[02:00:54] yatpay: that was passing through the area
[02:00:58] yatpay: not the ones he "knew"
[02:01:02] nugget: ha ya, not his pal
[02:01:09] nugget: bears who eat you are not your pals
Quote #959Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about the War on Drugs)
yatpay: But by having this black market, there are all these gangs selling drugs and having gun violence in cities and killing innocent people!
Brett: Doesn't matter.
yatpay: How so?
Brett: They'd just sell something else.
yatpay: Like what?
yatpay: What would they use the weapons for?
Brett: ..poppin' people!
Quote #958Score: 6 + / -
[12:46:20] yatpay: i've heard that with the really big [magnet]s shit will just come flying at you
[12:47:08] topaz: like your PACEMAKER
Quote #957Score: 6 + / -
[17:04:49] yatpay: uhohes, this apple juice says "refrigerate after opening"
[17:04:53] yatpay: and it's been sitting here for 2 days
[17:04:59] topaz: throw it out
[17:05:08] yatpay: lol, i just drank a bunch!!
[17:05:10] yatpay: oh no!!!
[17:05:26] topaz: yeah, you'll probably die
[17:06:34] yatpay: :'(
Quote #956Score: 4 + / -
McKeed: It seems that my mic works if I---*click*
Quote #955Score: 5 + / -
(Talking about making Ecstasy)
Brandon: I feel like it can't be that hard.. If I can make hot sauce I should be able to make drugs.
Quote #954Score: 2 + / -
Jeff: I'll be right back.. my face just started to bleed inexplicably.. so I'll be right back.
Quote #953Score: 9 + / -
[01:23:44] brandon: haha i have a cup of finely diced habanero peppers sitting in my fridge
[01:23:52] brandon: and a cup of jalapenos too
[01:23:55] brandon: and garlic and onions
[01:24:03] brandon: this sauce is going to be so painful
[01:24:11] brandon: i think i'm not even going to eat it
[01:24:17] brandon: just use it as a weapon against my enemies
Quote #952Score: 6 + / -
(After seeing my before and after pictures from braces..)
[01:12:19] brandon: ha you have a much bigger head now
[01:12:21] brandon: good job
Quote #951Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: hey, you didn't see snakes on a plane yet did you?
yatpay: i'm avoiding all my normal sites just in case
yatpay: digg, slashdot, ... cnn
Lone Beaver: na, it rained here
Lone Beaver: and the roof of the movie theater is flat
Lone Beaver: so they evacuated it
Lone Beaver: it doesnt rain here much
Quote #950Score: 4 + / -
Brandon: [...] some kid was like "hey stop swearing so much or we'll kick you from the server"
Brandon: and i was like "oh man no please don't kick me from this piece of shit server, you fucking prick! do you think i care?"
Brandon: so he kicked me from the server
Quote #949Score: 1 + / -
Mel: Im so busty!
Mel: I mean BUSY
Quote #947Score: 4 + / -
yatpay's Dad: There's something odd about Viagra commercials being on during Law and Order (SVU)
Quote #946Score: 7 + / -
(15:14:43) commander: lol, there was this one guy I knew
(15:14:54) commander: and whenever I wanted a song, I asked him if he had it
(15:14:58) commander: because I knew he had a lot of music on his comp
(15:15:02) commander: and he always had what I wanted
(15:15:11) commander: for the longest time I thought we had identical tastes in music
(15:15:17) yatpay: haha
(15:15:18) commander: but then he told me he was just downloading them all as I asked for it
(15:15:20) commander: =/
(15:15:21) yatpay: hahahahaha
Quote #943Score: 6 + / -
[10:25:59] becky: how is it?
[10:26:07] yatpay: ...?
[10:26:13] becky: who*
[10:26:18] becky: haha whoa hello dyslexia
Quote #942Score: 9 + / -
[09:45:25] commander: yesterday I saw a video on youtube
[09:45:31] yatpay: cool
[09:45:37] commander: lol I'm not done yet
Quote #941Score: -3 + / -
[22:12] Mel: Oh man, that reminds you
[22:12] Mel: I mean
[22:12] Mel: Me
[22:12] Mel: THat reminds ME
Quote #940Score: 6 + / -
[11:02:34] bryce: there is something about piccolo trying to teach rock lee the special beam cannon
[11:02:37] bryce: i find very funny
Quote #939Score: 8 + / -
[23:41:27] topaz: [...] brains are delicious but you have to make sure nobody's looking first
Quote #938Score: 2 + / -
(After seeing a fake ad with the PS3 as a fat, bitchy woman, and the Wii as a hot fun-loving girl)
Mel: I'd be the N64. Awkward to hold, but I get the job done.
Quote #937Score: 5 + / -
Dave: Wait, today's your last day?
Nugget: Yes. Hence all the comments like "Next week you'll have to look up your own [internet] clips" and "Today's our last day" ....
Quote #936Score: 11 + / -
(Bryce is in Japan, 13 hours ahead of where I am)
[13:47:46] yatpay: what's it like in the future
[13:47:54] bryce: well
[13:48:04] bryce: as far as i can tell, it is much drunker
Quote #935Score: 4 + / -
[13:45:53] bryce: i would marry a monitor if it was legal
Quote #934Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: ...while I watched a documentary about the Oklahoma City bombing.
Brett: That was a good bombing.
Quote #933Score: -2 + / -
[15:27:52] brandon: man i wish you could acquire children to sell them into slavery for money
[15:27:56] brandon: that would be a great job
Quote #931Score: 7 + / -
[18:08:04] yatpay: "Automatix - The easy way to set up Ubuntu!"
[18:08:07] yatpay: lol, how could it be easier!?
[18:08:16] topaz: it's probably a rock
[18:08:20] topaz: you put it on your enter key
Quote #930Score: 8 + / -
(Not realizing that the microwave was in use, Mel looked at it to figure out what time it was)
Mel: Hey!! It's 1:57..6..5..4..3.......
Quote #929Score: 8 + / -
Nugget: A lot of things sound like Nugget.
Quote #928Score: 15 + / -
Nugget: People don't think about time travel as much as they should.
Quote #927Score: 2 + / -
Joe: I could go for about six Krispy Kreme donuts and a Guinness right now.
Quote #925Score: 9 + / -
(01:54:11) Brett: i imagine that it would be difficult to get enough bat milk to fill a cereal bowl
(01:54:20) yatpay: not with a centrifuge
Quote #924Score: 10 + / -
[00:07:52] brandon: I AM INTENSITY!
Quote #923Score: 12 + / -
[23:55:11] nugget: if it makes you feel any better there are no midnight showings of clerks 2 in MA, so I have to wait until tomorrow
[23:55:21] nugget: so now I'm eating cold spaghettios
[23:55:34] nugget: which is the logical way to cope with my pain
[23:55:47] yatpay: hahaha
Quote #922Score: 12 + / -
[22:59:27] yatpay: FUCK!
[22:59:29] yatpay: daily show!1
[22:59:31] yatpay: *runs upstairs*
[23:00:22] topaz: (fortunately for our viewers, i have a yatponian translation device handy. let's see what he actually said.)
[23:00:40] topaz: "Forsooth! Something troublesome and great hath occured!"
[23:00:59] topaz: "Verily, it is the television episode which appears each day!"
[23:01:14] topaz: "Sprinteth hence do I posthaste!"
Quote #921Score: 9 + / -
[22:00:15] wacko: oh snap!
[22:00:31] wacko: I forgot about music piracy
[22:00:31] wacko: that shit rocks
Quote #920Score: 8 + / -
(James' Facebook account is actually based off one of my other e-mail addresses, so all his messages to go me. I usually just leave it alone, but one day I signed on randomly..)
[00:26:38] yatpay: whoa
[00:26:41] yatpay: a ton of people want to be your friend
[00:26:45] yatpay: and you've got two invitations
[00:26:53] yatpay: lol, do you want to go to rachel's new years eve party?
[00:27:05] james: its july...
Quote #919Score: 24 + / -
[16:48:40] james: dood
[16:48:49] james: I just traded a hammer for a tshirt
Quote #918Score: 21 + / -
16:31:48 * Jefferson_Davis punches abraham lincoln
16:32:03 <%Jefferson_Davis> that's for freeing the slaves, jerk
16:32:19 * Abraham_Lincoln shoots Jefferson_Davis
16:32:24 -!- curse_of_eel_and_egg is now known as John_Wilkes_Booth
16:32:27 * John_Wilkes_Booth shoots Abraham_Lincoln
16:32:28 -!- Abraham_Lincoln is now known as dead
16:32:34 <%Screw_On_Head> NOOOOOO
16:32:38 <%Screw_On_Head> MR. PRESIDENT!!!
16:32:51 <%Jefferson_Davis> hey, i was undoubtedly the greatest president the Confederate States ever had
Quote #917Score: 18 + / -
Nugget: Do you still have that printer's IP address?
yatpay: Yeah. *hands Nugget a piece of paper with the IP address on it*
Nugget: Thanks *takes piece of paper, looks at it.. goes to computer and hits "ctrl+v" (paste)* ...oops.
yatpay: .....did you just try to paste from a piece of paper?
Nugget: Shut up.
Quote #916Score: -1 + / -
(Explaining why I keep something in a drawer)
yatpay: I just want it over there. It's not a space issue.
Mel: With you, everything is a space issue.
Quote #915Score: 7 + / -
[15:13:27] bryce: ugh sleep is soooo for the weak
[15:16:51] yatpay: lack of sleep can cause obesity
[15:17:24] bryce: i am not to worried about obbesity
[15:17:29] yatpay: lol
[15:17:32] yatpay: just you wait
[15:17:37] yatpay: that metabolism can't last forever
[15:17:46] yatpay: you won't be able to wear your spandex track suit forever
[15:17:49] yatpay: and jump on brett's bed
[15:17:50] yatpay: lol
[15:18:09] bryce: no i will, it will just be a lot more disgusting
[15:18:24] bryce: which i suppose serves its purpose further
Quote #914Score: 17 + / -
James: Wind isn't going to hurt the camera.. unless it's a tornado.. then it probably would.
Quote #913Score: 42 + / -
yatpay: You're getting a new cat?
James: Yeah. It's a used cat.
yatpay: How used?
James: It's already dead.
Quote #912Score: 21 + / -
(Requested by Topaz...)
(Talking about the Crew Exploration Vehicle)
[00:56:36] yatpay: contrary to popular belief, it's not for exploring the crew
Quote #911Score: 9 + / -
[20:37:13] Lone Beaver: i'll go rent a cat
[20:37:15] Lone Beaver: that would rule
Quote #910Score: 0 + / -
[21:34:50] mike: the cheapest grills i can find are still like $65
[21:34:55] mike: i'll keep searching
[21:35:02] yatpay: i totally read "grills" as "girls"
[21:35:09] mike: mmm cheap girls
[21:35:17] mike: we should buy some hookers to grill us burgers
Quote #908Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: Why aren't you hanging out with [The Peapod Squad]?
Mel: I called Dan but he was too drunk to tell me where he was...
Quote #906Score: 13 + / -
Nugget: (Talking about the new intern who doesn't do much) It's like.. "I'd introduce myself, but she's sleeping!"
Quote #904Score: 1 + / -
[10:10:30] mel: I accidentally torrented a whole [gigabyte] of Billy Joel
Quote #903Score: 7 + / -
[09:46] Mel: Who gave you an ice pick?!
[09:46] Sketch: ... why does everyone say that
Quote #901Score: 4 + / -
Melvin: *walks into room* Dude! I just want to drink so much coffee!!
Quote #899Score: 9 + / -
[22:00:37] yatpay: lol, i love watching my population stablize so just enough babies are being born to break even after people are eaten by dragons
[22:01:03] topaz: make that a quote
[22:01:04] topaz: right now
Quote #897Score: 3 + / -
Sketch: frisbee doesn't count as a hippie characteristic
Quote #896Score: 43 + / -
[10:21:18] james: lol in sweden the TV only had 5chs..
[10:21:24] yatpay: heh
[10:21:24] james: BBC BBC News.. MTV
[10:21:28] james: some random ch
[10:21:29] james: then..
[10:21:32] james: hardcore porn
[10:21:48] yatpay: porn just on normal tv?
[10:21:54] james: yes
[10:22:01] yatpay: that's pretty funny
[10:22:05] james: and it was like ":O!" porn
Quote #895Score: 24 + / -
(17:58:30) yatpay: one of my apartmentmates is from vietnam
(17:58:33) yatpay: and speaks like... no english
(17:58:35) yatpay: he just got here
(17:59:24) lone beaver: i bet he speaks starcraft
(17:59:31) lone beaver: walk up to him and say 'adun tauridas'
(17:59:35) yatpay: LMFAO
Quote #894Score: 31 + / -
(Talking about why 97% of people in IT are "traumatized" by their jobs.. mostly because nobody does it right)
[13:50:22] topaz: that'd be like hating to build houses because you use your forehead instead of a hammer
Quote #893Score: 8 + / -
(Installing stuff on yatpay's Dad's new computer)
yatpay: Is there anything else you need? Think now.
Becky: Or forever... complain.
Quote #892Score: 23 + / -
Nugget: XML: Just make it up!
Quote #891Score: 15 + / -
(I typed "I am speaking Finnish now" into a translator..)
yatpay: I-KIRJAIN olen puhuva Finnish kas noin!
Tekdino: If you'd speak like that
Tekdino: they will put you in mental hospital :D
Quote #889Score: 18 + / -
yatpay: Oh yeah, don't forget these *hands Mel 10 PS2 games in their cases*
Mel: Well, I don't have a lot of room in my car..
yatpay: Is it like.. an R/C car??
Quote #887Score: 1 + / -
(19:08:20) lone beaver: whwhat is it?
(19:08:28) lone beaver: how did i type that and not notice it
Quote #886Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: Ready? Listen to this.. *unplugs computer... sudden silence as the computer fan stops*
Mel: I hate this noise! ....whrrrrrrr
Quote #884Score: 31 + / -
[11:21] yatpay: so where are you now?
[11:21] yatpay: and don't say "england"
[11:21] James: the uk
Quote #883Score: 24 + / -
Tekdino : on ISS they can't rofl. They just RIAL (rolling in the air laughing)
Quote #882Score: 22 + / -
[14:41] yatpay: have you packed yet?
[14:41] James: yes
[14:41] James: i just did
[14:42] James: its not hard to put pants in a bag
Quote #880Score: 33 + / -
James: *Reading off the box of some robot toy* "You'll never know quite where it'll go" ..I want to buy one just to see where it goes... and then leave it there.
Quote #879Score: 31 + / -
[14:04:55] bryce: what the room [extension]
[14:04:58] yatpay: 6835
[14:05:02] bryce: oooh okay
[14:05:13] bryce: that would explain why susan picked up the phone last time i tried to call
[14:05:22] yatpay: hahahaha
[14:05:25] yatpay: who's susan?
[14:05:35] bryce: 6935
Quote #876Score: 7 + / -
[02:54:47] Lone Beaver: what makes you think i am entertaining?
[02:55:00] yatpay: more entertaining than air?
[02:55:24] Lone Beaver: but not quite as necessary
Quote #875Score: 18 + / -
*talking about red-eye in pictures*
Topaz: Doesn't work on me! I don't have a retina! Hahahaha
yatpay: .....shut up.
Quote #873Score: 16 + / -
[02:10:42] yatpay: it would be hard to run off with a penguin
[02:10:49] yatpay: they weigh like 75 pounds
[02:11:27] mel: i can try
Quote #872Score: -1 + / -
[23:04:50] mel: I just spent waaaaay too long trying to figure out who Dan might call "Burrito" before I realized he was just eating dinner and misused capitalization
Quote #871Score: 4 + / -
[03:15:20] ziplux: linux is the bombdiggity
Quote #870Score: 9 + / -
[17:10:03] mel: this spam mails have gotten really crazy
[17:11:15] mel: i got one titled "Hi, sea lettuce."
Quote #869Score: 2 + / -
(Show my mom how to use her new iPod)
Becky: And you can put pictures on it.
yatpay's Mom: Like picture of my daughter.. and son..
Aunt Teresa: ..your sister..
Quote #867Score: 2 + / -
(00:42:46) lone beaver: you have such a small room
(00:42:53) lone beaver: i cant imagine that you have to clean it enough to get there
(00:42:56) yatpay: i threw up like 20% of the stuff in here
(00:43:03) yatpay: lol, threw OUT
(00:43:05) yatpay: threw OUT
(00:43:20) lone beaver: hah
Quote #866Score: 15 + / -
(Talking about college)
[11:07:24] yatpay: i'm looking into being a professor so i never have to leave! :D
[11:07:42] Muffie: oh good
[11:07:44] yatpay: Professor yatpay :D
[11:08:03] Muffie: you'll be like....every teacher at hogwarts
[11:08:13] Muffie: Mad-Eye yatpay
Quote #865Score: 5 + / -
(While on eMachine "live chat" tech support)
Sheila_EMC0134 says: Could you please open case of your tower
Robert Burke says: Yeah, I'll do that now
Sheila_EMC0134 says: I am referring you to the defective system.
Quote #864Score: -6 + / -
Mel: If I were trapped in a box.. I would be fine with that. but I can't be trapped in a tube. I would have a panic attack and die.
Quote #863Score: 38 + / -
yatpay: you know how many errors timecube.com has?
topaz: all of them.
Quote #862Score: 18 + / -
[00:56] james: [surge] now sell on eBay for high dollar amounts, including a reported $160.08 f
[00:56] james: Scrrew that!
[00:56] yatpay: lol, yeah
[00:56] james: Im selling it on ebay!
[00:56] yatpay: haha, aww
[00:57] james: "what did you get on your vacation.. " "oh just 80 things of Surge"
[00:57] james: "AND A NEW CAR!"
Quote #861Score: 2 + / -
Mel: "Mars Polar Lander: 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'"
yatpay: "Sputnik 2: 'So how do we get the dog back down?' 'What?'"
Mel: "Hubble: Earth's monocle"
yatpay: "Huygens: 'I can't believe you guys ditched me'"
Mel: "COBE: The satellite that rapes little children"
Mel: "Mariner 1: Don't forget your traveling hat"
yatpay: "Mariner 1: 'Let's go that way'"
Mel: "New Horizons: I'm so lonely..."
yatpay: "New Horizons: 'I hate you guys'"
Mel: "ISS: The YMCA of space"
yatpay: "Galileo: H-y --ys J---i-r -o-ks -r-e-tty c-ol"
Mel: "Genesis: In the beginning there was the sun.. then there was crashing"
yatpay: "GPS: Hereiamhereiamhereiamhereiamhereiam!!"
Mel: "Spirit: Fitting in is hard"
yatpay: "Pathfinder: 'Pfft, rovers are for losers'"
Quote #859Score: 11 + / -
Mike: I go on my computer because it's the only place in my life that's not sticky!
Quote #858Score: 13 + / -
[01:18] <JamminJ> lol I knew I shouldn't have asked you about spacing..
[01:18] <James> lolyeahionly space whenifeellikeit
Quote #855Score: 31 + / -
(23:29:19) yatpay: i just thought of something
(23:29:24) yatpay: does smashley have any brothers?
(23:29:34) brandon: 1
(23:29:43) yatpay: that would make him a... smash brother?
(23:29:52) yatpay: :D
(23:30:00) brandon: die!!!
Quote #853Score: 3 + / -
James: bnmstinker: last.fm
SmarterChild: Not last fm.
James: why not
SmarterChild: For various reasons, I suppose.
SmarterChild: I'm going to keep quiet on this one, bnmstinker. I hope you can respect that.
Quote #852Score: 8 + / -
(Greg is working in Russia)
(02:38:12) greg: but if there's one thing they don't give a shit about in russia, it's people
(02:38:24) greg: more specifically you, over there, in the red shirt, trying to cross the street
Quote #851Score: 5 + / -
Brett: *Playing Doom 3* That's a deep fucking hole! Why would they make such a d-- AHH!! *splat*
Quote #850Score: 2 + / -
Brett: This guy [on 4chan] says he's going to make [the thread] a sticky himself... he's just gonna keep posting.
Quote #849Score: 2 + / -
[20:17:06] yatpay: so, in my country... there are like, 19,000 people who have no houses?
[20:17:23] llazarus1: yup, pretty much
[20:17:26] yatpay: gak
[20:18:15] Topaz: that's okay, don't worry about it too much
[20:18:40] yatpay: lol, what, do you work for FEMA?
[20:19:23] Topaz: >_<
Quote #848Score: 22 + / -
[21:35:59] james: new fox show is on
[21:36:04] yatpay: what is it?
[21:36:09] james: where they lock people underground in a room
Quote #847Score: 5 + / -
[01:47:24] Lone Beaver: the one thing that mysql cant do
[01:47:27] Lone Beaver: install mysql
Quote #846Score: 4 + / -
(Playing Black & White)
Mike: *mocking* "The worshipers want food!" Well so does the rest of the village you selfish assholes! Boohoo, we're starving. We're a stupid village. We don't know how to slaughter animals ourselves.
Quote #845Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: Did you ever do the Rare Candy trick [in the Pokemon gameboy game]? If you see Missingno, you get 128 of whatever item is sixth in your inventory.
Bryce: Oh yeah, I did do that. Unfortunately the sixth item in my inventory was a bicycle!