Welcome to the quotes page. When people say funny things, I write them down. I started doing this some time in 2003 and the collection has been steadily growing ever since. Around 2006 I introduced the voting system. If you like a quote, click the up arrow, if you don't like it, click the down arrow. That's it! Enjoy!
Quote #861Score: 2 + / -
Mel: "Mars Polar Lander: 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'"
yatpay: "Sputnik 2: 'So how do we get the dog back down?' 'What?'"
Mel: "Hubble: Earth's monocle"
yatpay: "Huygens: 'I can't believe you guys ditched me'"
Mel: "COBE: The satellite that rapes little children"
Mel: "Mariner 1: Don't forget your traveling hat"
yatpay: "Mariner 1: 'Let's go that way'"
Mel: "New Horizons: I'm so lonely..."
yatpay: "New Horizons: 'I hate you guys'"
Mel: "ISS: The YMCA of space"
yatpay: "Galileo: H-y --ys J---i-r -o-ks -r-e-tty c-ol"
Mel: "Genesis: In the beginning there was the sun.. then there was crashing"
yatpay: "GPS: Hereiamhereiamhereiamhereiamhereiam!!"
Mel: "Spirit: Fitting in is hard"
yatpay: "Pathfinder: 'Pfft, rovers are for losers'"
Quote #859Score: 11 + / -
Mike: I go on my computer because it's the only place in my life that's not sticky!
Quote #858Score: 13 + / -
[01:18] <JamminJ> lol I knew I shouldn't have asked you about spacing..
[01:18] <James> lolyeahionly space whenifeellikeit
Quote #855Score: 31 + / -
(23:29:19) yatpay: i just thought of something
(23:29:24) yatpay: does smashley have any brothers?
(23:29:34) brandon: 1
(23:29:43) yatpay: that would make him a... smash brother?
(23:29:52) yatpay: :D
(23:30:00) brandon: die!!!
Quote #853Score: 3 + / -
James: bnmstinker: last.fm
SmarterChild: Not last fm.
James: why not
SmarterChild: For various reasons, I suppose.
SmarterChild: I'm going to keep quiet on this one, bnmstinker. I hope you can respect that.
Quote #852Score: 8 + / -
(Greg is working in Russia)
(02:38:12) greg: but if there's one thing they don't give a shit about in russia, it's people
(02:38:24) greg: more specifically you, over there, in the red shirt, trying to cross the street
Quote #851Score: 5 + / -
Brett: *Playing Doom 3* That's a deep fucking hole! Why would they make such a d-- AHH!! *splat*
Quote #850Score: 2 + / -
Brett: This guy [on 4chan] says he's going to make [the thread] a sticky himself... he's just gonna keep posting.
Quote #849Score: 2 + / -
[20:17:06] yatpay: so, in my country... there are like, 19,000 people who have no houses?
[20:17:23] llazarus1: yup, pretty much
[20:17:26] yatpay: gak
[20:18:15] Topaz: that's okay, don't worry about it too much
[20:18:40] yatpay: lol, what, do you work for FEMA?
[20:19:23] Topaz: >_<
Quote #848Score: 22 + / -
[21:35:59] james: new fox show is on
[21:36:04] yatpay: what is it?
[21:36:09] james: where they lock people underground in a room
Quote #847Score: 5 + / -
[01:47:24] Lone Beaver: the one thing that mysql cant do
[01:47:27] Lone Beaver: install mysql
Quote #846Score: 4 + / -
(Playing Black & White)
Mike: *mocking* "The worshipers want food!" Well so does the rest of the village you selfish assholes! Boohoo, we're starving. We're a stupid village. We don't know how to slaughter animals ourselves.
Quote #845Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: Did you ever do the Rare Candy trick [in the Pokemon gameboy game]? If you see Missingno, you get 128 of whatever item is sixth in your inventory.
Bryce: Oh yeah, I did do that. Unfortunately the sixth item in my inventory was a bicycle!
Quote #844Score: 0 + / -
Smashley: I wish we could have babies as pets.
Quote #842Score: 7 + / -
Brett: Man, if people vomited skittles... I would be bulemic.
Quote #841Score: 3 + / -
(Playing catch with a chunk of dry ice)
yatpay: Don't hold onto it too long!
Brett: It's cold potato! Don't hold on too long, you don't lose, but you'll freeze! That will be your punishment.
Quote #840Score: -2 + / -
(In "Black & White")
Mel: I miss my old village. This one is full of no houses.. and people screaming they want houses.
Quote #839Score: 12 + / -
james: im black
SmarterChild: Are you happy to be black or would you rather be something else?
james: white power
SmarterChild: I know about racism. It's one of the worst beliefs I know.
Quote #838Score: 5 + / -
Mel: You know what word I hate? Symbolism.
yatpay: The word itself or what it represents?
Mel: ...I'll kill you.
Quote #837Score: 3 + / -
(After explaining Ranma's curse to Brett)
Brett: That is a win win curse! I don't even know if I'd call it a curse!
Quote #836Score: 3 + / -
Brett: He should dye his whole body. That would be original.
yatpay: You mean like a tattoo? ..you retard!
Brett: Oh...... DAMN!
Quote #835Score: -4 + / -
Mel: [Bailey] likes to take pictures of herself in goth makeup while posing with a rose.. or sucking on a lamp.
Quote #834Score: 7 + / -
[04:39:07] yatpay: dude! remember that nasa probe that crashed into the desert?
[04:39:29] clark james: dont they all?
Quote #833Score: 2 + / -
(Talking about a "Studio" name for my videos)
[23:19:52] yatpay: the only problem with "TLI Productions" is it sounds just like "JMI Productions" (Bryce's studio)
[23:20:02] Lone Beaver: so it does
[23:20:10] Lone Beaver: so do TLI incorporated or something
[23:20:15] yatpay: hmm
[23:20:17] Lone Beaver: but then dont incorporate
[23:20:22] Lone Beaver: cause thats expensive
[23:20:27] Lone Beaver: no one will ever know
[23:20:39] Lone Beaver: it will be our not so funny secret joke
Quote #832Score: 24 + / -
Muffie: It's awfully dark outside..
James: Well.. that's because we're underground.
Quote #831Score: 2 + / -
[05:40:24] yatpay: hahaha, the man who shot the pope has been freed
[05:40:36] Lone Beaver: i heard they were thinking about it
[05:40:43] Lone Beaver: now he gets his shot at the new pope
Quote #830Score: -3 + / -
Brett: Wouldn't it be weird if you got laser eye surgery on one eye?
Quote #829Score: 5 + / -
Rob: You got an in flight movie?
Rob: Really? I got an in flight penny whipped at my head!
Quote #828Score: 1 + / -
Mel's Mom: You don't like cakes?
yatpay: Not really. Frosting is no good. If you gave me a cake with no frosting.. that'd be a good cake.
Bailey: So why don't you get a bagel?
Quote #827Score: -3 + / -
(Talking about Wacko's little brother Tim)
[01:29:30] mel: I was gonna call him Lil' Wacks....so, it's a good thing he doesn't know who I am or where I live.
Quote #826Score: -8 + / -
[01:24:21] mel: torrenting hentai at night is my passion.
Quote #824Score: -2 + / -
[01:22:35] mel: I have decided to tuype whtout looking at anygthing at all..
[01:22:44] mel: Alspo, I am typing with my favce.
Quote #823Score: 0 + / -
Josh: It's like Jaws! *hums a tune*
yatpay: That's Batman!
Quote #822Score: 5 + / -
[03:24:34] Lone Beaver: is it SATURDAY?
[03:24:40] yatpay: it is now
[03:24:41] yatpay: why?
[03:24:43] Lone Beaver: FUCK
[03:25:00] Lone Beaver: i set my watch back a day on the airplane i think! i thought i had a whole more day of xmas shopping
[03:25:03] Lone Beaver: im so screwed!
Quote #821Score: 3 + / -
Prof. Sternberg: In Europe you can wake up in the morning and be in a different country.
Prof. Sternberg: That's no joke! That happened to my family!
Quote #819Score: -3 + / -
[22:07:20] mel: So I'll have to...sleep on the floor after First Night?
[22:07:38] mel: The floor of...the street?
Quote #818Score: 3 + / -
Brett: Now I've got two stress houses... I can be totally stress free!!
Quote #817Score: 4 + / -
(Playing a game)
Brett: AH! Ninjas! With shotguns! ..it can't get any worse than that!
Quote #816Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: Where do you even get pot?!
Rosie: Homeless people..
yatpay: And where do they get it?
Quote #815Score: 0 + / -
Alex Abels: Try "Europe sucks"!! ..except it's a nice place to be.
Quote #814Score: 1 + / -
(Ryan McNeil is an ex-NFL player who talked at an event at our school)
Ryan McNeil: How many only childs are in this audience?
(A few people raise their hands)
Ryan McNeil: (Sadly) Yeah, there aren't many of us left.
Quote #813Score: 9 + / -
yatpay: Bryce, why are you bleeding?
Bryce: I'm bleeding!? Oh no!!!
Quote #812Score: 24 + / -
yatpay: Can you count to 10 in Japanese?
Bryce: Yeah. Sushi.. arigato.. naruto.... kamehameha..
Quote #811Score: 10 + / -
Mike: That's mine. Put it down.
Bryce: No, I won't.. I'm putting it in my pants.
Quote #810Score: 11 + / -
[11:38:27] Muffie: maybe it's a tofu laser
[11:38:34] yatpay: hahaha
[11:38:47] Muffie: or i could be cool and spell it with a z
[11:39:21] Muffie: "tozu laser!"
Quote #809Score: 8 + / -
(Reading an article about homosexuality studies in fruit flies)
Mike: Why are fruit flies the gayest animal?
Bryce: Why are you the gayest animal?
Quote #808Score: -2 + / -
Mel: Maybe we could send her subliminal messages... and by subliminal I mean punch her in the head!
Quote #807Score: 4 + / -
(Talking about a dream)
Mel: You decided that you were going to do the world's first "space jump", which meant that you took a big breath of air and were going to jump from one space station to another one.
yatpay: No! You're supposed to breath OUT all your air!
Mel: No, you don't understand. This was MY dream. A lot more than that was inaccurate.
Quote #806Score: 10 + / -
[11:15:04] wacko: haha, zen is great
[11:15:08] wacko: but not on timed tests
[11:15:14] wacko: zen is shit useless then
Quote #805Score: 2 + / -
Mel: *Tries to take off glasses* Ahh! I already wasn't wearing glasses! ..I almost pulled out my eyeballs!
Quote #804Score: 2 + / -
(Mel is in a program called AKOG [All Kinds of Girls] which mentors young girls in the Worcester area. For Halloween they were going to certain suites to get candy. First they had to finish a "riddle". For our room they had to finish the following spell: "Double, double, toil and trouble..." While they were still coming up with what to say before knocking I hear...)
Little Girl: I know! Let's say "Double, double, toil and trouble.. FRANKENSTEIN!!"
Quote #803Score: 3 + / -
Prof. Sternberg: This proof is very long so.. fasten your seatbelts.
Quote #802Score: 4 + / -
Bryce: *singing* She blinded me with magic.. and science... mostly magic.
Quote #801Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: They put "Ice Ice Baby" and "Under Pressure" together [for this AMV].
Mel's Dad: Because they're the same song?
Mel's Mom: *sings* Under pressure.. Oh yeah! It is!
Mel's Dad: ..that was a delayed reaction of about 20 years..
Quote #798Score: 6 + / -
(Talking about Playdoh)
Laura: I tasted it.. it wasn't bad.
Rosie: I'm not gonna lie.. it was awesome!
Laura: You know what the best was?
Laura and Rosie: Red! Hahaha!
Quote #797Score: -3 + / -
Mel: I want to get a computer with two monitors, put a big piece of paper over one of them and call it "Topaz".
Quote #796Score: 6 + / -
(Brett is eating ice cream out of a cup with a spoon.)
Brett: *Walks out into the rain* Gah! It's raining in my ice cream! *turns cup upside down and continues to eat* Ha! Tricked you God!
Quote #795Score: 24 + / -
(In the "Coaster Hangman" thread)
Hell Ashes: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ : _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
nj23nut: I'll take an "A", Pat....LOL
[James]: S U P E R M A N - R I D E O F S T E E L
Quote #794Score: 4 + / -
(Talking about New Orleans)
Brett: Fixing the walls?
yatpay: The levees
yatpay: Walls to stop floods
yatpay: A concept not many New Mexicans are familiar with
Quote #793Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: How was microeconomics?
Brett: You mean how was my NAP!?
Quote #792Score: 2 + / -
(In Achaea, and online RPG)
Brett: I just walked into this room.. and a pixie said "Won't you play with me?" and I immediately melted her skin off.
Quote #791Score: 2 + / -
(To regain health in Achaea [an online RPG] you sleep, and you get dreams)
Brett: I think your dreams change as your [alignment] changes.
Brett: Well, I used to have these dreams where a starving child would come up and I would pity him... but now I stab him!
Quote #790Score: 2 + / -
Brett: *Reading out of his business management book* "Another form of business is the cooperative co-op" .. this book sucks!
Quote #789Score: 0 + / -
Laura: I think Mike and I are the only ones with dogs... oh! But mine's dead! Awww, I forgot!!
Quote #788Score: 2 + / -
(Dynamite was discovered in the [now closed and being demolished] Middle School)
[22:03:25] yatpay: did you hear about what happened at MHS?
[22:04:17] yatpay's Dad: yeah....they happened across my old locker
Quote #787Score: -2 + / -
Mel: Canadians don't cheat. That's why we're not good at anything.
Quote #786Score: 2 + / -
Mike: The moon isn't a probabilistic framework!!
Quote #785Score: 2 + / -
(Brett opens the door to leave, and comes back in about 2 seconds.)
yatpay: What was that? You just looked out the door and came back.
Brett: Mike and Laura are on the couch, under the covers together.
Mel: Ah Brett, you're screwed. Why don't you just go make out with Bryce?
Brett: I'm not making out with Bryce! ..he hasn't shaved in days.
Quote #784Score: 0 + / -
Brett: We should make each one of our rooms a different race in StarCraft.
yatpay: We get Protoss!
Mel: Zerg! Zerg!
Mike: You'll have to cover your floor in goo!
Laura: That'd be awesome! We need Gak!!
Mike: No wait, you'd only have to put it under your furniture.
Mike: How would we do Terran?
yatpay: You'll have to put hoverjets under all your furniture so if other people come in you can float away
Quote #783Score: 0 + / -
Mel: Individual Jello pudding cakes!? That's individually awesome!
Quote #782Score: 2 + / -
(During our first "Intro to Formal Analysis" course)
Prof. Sternberg: Despite the fact that you'll freak out several times during the semester.. we'll still reach [our] goal.
Quote #780Score: 0 + / -
(At McDonalds, ordering a Happy Meal)
Brett: Oh, I've already got one of those cars, gimme a pony!
Quote #779Score: 0 + / -
(Brett's Happy Meal pony..)
Laura: You have to take the thing off her neck!
Brett: She's on a leash
yatpay: If she tries to fly she's going to die!
Brett: She flies in a circle! *swings pony around by "leash"*
Quote #778Score: 1 + / -
Brett: In the event of a fire, that's just what I want.. to be surrounded by fresh oxygen.
Quote #777Score: 2 + / -
(*After waiting for 20+ minutes for a hamburger with Mel*)
Brett: [The chef] just walked off for a coffee and our hamburgers are on fire..
Quote #776Score: 1 + / -
*Drives by "Christos Pizza"*
yatpay: Oh there's Christos (pronounced Kris-toes)
Laura: It's "Christ-ohs"!
Brett: Sounds like a cereal. Like Cheerios in blessed water.
Laura: You eat cereal with water!?
Brett: No, I eat my Christos with water!
Quote #775Score: 12 + / -
yatpay: If you were president for a day, what would you do?
Muffie: I would draw boobs on all the old presidents' [portraits].
Quote #774Score: 11 + / -
James: Ow! I bit my lip.. I thought it was cheese.
Quote #773Score: 22 + / -
James: I can't stand game shows that don't involve an obstacle course in the end.
Quote #772Score: 1 + / -
(We're at a cabin in the middle of nowhere and it's been totally silent for around 15 minutes)
yatpay's Dad: Wow!! A giant bag of peanuts!!
Quote #771Score: 4 + / -
(We're toasting marshmellows and mine caught fire)
Becky: Haha! Loser--AHHH!!! *marshmellow engulfed in flames*
Quote #770Score: 15 + / -
(James' hair is in between dyings so is greenish blondish brownish)
Steph: Your hair is a lovely shade of..
James: Ugly? I know.
Quote #769Score: 4 + / -
(Bryce played a game in creative acting class where his partner had to do an action that he said)
yatpay: You should've done something that was like.. impossible.
Quote #768Score: 0 + / -
(Brett is changing the Halo controls on my computer)
yatpay: What are you doing? You didn't change them did you?
Brett: ..not dramatically
yatpay: What'd you do?
Brett: Changed them dramatically!
Quote #767Score: 9 + / -
(We're all in Mike's car..)
Bryce: Hey, that girl looked right at me. How did she see me through the tinted windows? Are these windows tinted?
Bryce: Oh.. then I guess I was staring right at her!
Quote #766Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: What time is your first class?
Mike: Noon. But it doesn't matter because Bryce has class at 8 and he has three alarm clocks
Quote #764Score: -4 + / -
Mel: *Goes to sign "Two of my favorites are about Osaka and space" but lost track and instead signed "Two of my favorites are on fire"*
Quote #763Score: 3 + / -
Mel: Someday I'll duct tape your eyes shut.. then you'll see!
Brett: ..No he won't!
Quote #762Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: The only way the study center could be better is if it had a laser printer.
Bryce: The only way the study center could be better is if it had laser tag!!
Quote #761Score: -1 + / -
Laura: *looks at a bag* Is that Jesus!? Oh wait.. it's a girl.
Quote #760Score: 3 + / -
(When told about World Jump Day)
clark james: i moved to the western hemisphere to avoid foolishness like this
Quote #759Score: 6 + / -
[02:30:58] yatpay: http://pics.yatpay.net/05-08-20/21273.jpg
[02:31:36] clark james: oh man hes fucked
[02:32:01] yatpay: lmfao
[02:32:21] clark james: howd he get in there?
[02:32:29] yatpay: lol, no clue
[02:32:32] yatpay: i don't know how he got out either
[02:32:34] yatpay: i wasn't paying attention
[02:32:36] yatpay: and he was just out
[02:32:43] clark james: i think he died
[02:32:47] clark james: and they got a new one
[02:32:52] clark james: and didnt tell you
Quote #758Score: 12 + / -
(When shown this picture
[01:30:09] brandon: dumb goat
[01:30:15] brandon: like a sheep could go any faster
Quote #757Score: 5 + / -
[02:12:24] clark james: i watched a really weird movie last night
[02:12:38] clark james: it was just flashing squares for 13 minutes
[02:12:50] yatpay: lol, that is weird
[02:13:05] clark james: actually they were diamonds but i was tired and leaning over a little
Quote #756Score: 2 + / -
(Only "Clarkies" will get this..)
[02:15:34] yatpay: what building are you [living] in?
[02:15:38] clark james: dana
[02:15:42] clark james: commons
Quote #754Score: 2 + / -
(I told Jared I was going to some place with no electricity for a week..)
yatpay: one sec
ziplux: doesn't sound like a place you'd like
yatpay: 46 d 26' 28.20" N, 69 d 12' 10.58" W
ziplux: good old 46 d 26' 28.20" N, 69 d 12' 10.58" W
Quote #753Score: 3 + / -
Brandon: winter appeals to me much more now that i'm no longer a kid
yatpay: or responsible for shoveling
Brandon: and i enjoy car accidents
Quote #752Score: 1 + / -
Brett: ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT HARRY POTTER ISNT REAL?
Quote #751Score: 7 + / -
(Talking about the "Editorials")
[02:15:11] brandon: like it's jp - totally normal
[02:15:23] brandon: brandon - a little demented, maybe slightly evil
[02:15:32] brandon: bryce - total insanity
Quote #750Score: 4 + / -
(Talking about lightning strikes on a map)
[00:10:08] yatpay: heh, there's a big red blob over me, and headed towards you
[00:10:18] clark james: shit
[00:10:42] clark james: im so unprepared for a blob
[00:10:50] clark james: especially red
Quote #749Score: 1 + / -
[21:51:37] yatpay: each time i write one of these and you beat the stupid out of me a little more they get easier :D
[21:52:41] topaz: yaaay
[21:52:46] topaz: that's called "learning"
[21:52:50] topaz: it's very rare :P
Quote #748Score: 5 + / -
[00:17:53] clark james: whatve you been up to?
[00:18:19] yatpay: i've been following the [Space Shuttle Discovery] mission pretty closely
[00:18:26] yatpay: i'm even working on a music video about it
[00:18:26] yatpay: [URL that'll be expired by the time you read this]
[00:18:32] yatpay: you can get the preview there
[00:18:41] clark james: is it about that piece of foam
[00:18:52] clark james: or "foamy" as i like to call him
Quote #747Score: 4 + / -
[00:23:01] clark james: pimp my orbiter
Quote #745Score: 3 + / -
[19:33:29] yatpay: hey! you're watching the shuttle launch tomorrow right?
[19:33:36] yatpay: right right right???
[19:34:29] Nick: yeah I'm getting the guys together! I made a cake thats the bust of Neil Armstrong. Last Launch I made one of Buzz Aldrin...thats why it crashed
Quote #744Score: 1 + / -
(Nick took Latin with me in high school for all four years)
[19:26:48] yatpay: been keeping up on your latin? :D
[19:29:44] Nick: haha that ended sophomore year
[19:30:18] yatpay: lmao
Quote #743Score: 0 + / -
(After being shown a perl script)
[23:40:04] skye: did math just explode?
Quote #742Score: 4 + / -
yatpay: How long does a wedding take anyway?
yatpay's Dad: About one ten thousandth of a divorce.
Quote #741Score: 3 + / -
[22:48:45] mike: [removed]
[22:48:59] yatpay: yes?
[22:49:02] mike: oops that's my password
[22:49:07] mike: damn your instant message
[22:49:09] mike: lol
[22:49:14] yatpay: lmfao
Quote #740Score: 5 + / -
[02:13:20] clark james: i was on facebook last night and i added a bunch of people who i have no idea who they are
[02:13:28] clark james: ps i was drunk
Quote #739Score: 6 + / -
[02:14:24] yatpay: lol, i read this great quote online... "if i was gonna play hide and go seek, i would want anne frank on my team"
[02:14:40] clark james: haha
[02:14:58] clark james: id want a predator
Quote #738Score: 1 + / -
Chris: I dunno, the long hair, the lack of home comfort items purported to placate the exploited worker class
Chris: It all seems to point toward the undead
Chris: ok, I have no idea why I wrote undead
Chris: I was thinking hippy, and i wrote that instead
Quote #737Score: 12 + / -
[00:55:45] yatpay: dude, once you learn how to use [the new CanobieFan], it's going to explode
[00:56:04] james: :(
[00:56:19] yatpay: in a good way
[00:56:20] yatpay: lol
[00:56:22] james: ooh
[00:56:23] james: :)
Quote #736Score: 3 + / -
(Talking about yatpay: well, i do the part that i'm good at, he does the part he's good at
[23:57:34] Medusa1861: lol... if you did it in reverse... that...would be one messed up website
Quote #735Score: 12 + / -
[16:42:01] brandon: [link to a picture of a very ugly dog]
[16:42:15] yatpay: lmao
[16:42:29] yatpay: james: "who could love that!?"
[16:42:38] brandon: i guess somebody must
[16:42:43] brandon: it's been kept alive for this long
[16:43:02] brandon: unless of course it has just been consuming humans to survive
Quote #734Score: 17 + / -
[23:59] <Jason19> Is SFNE.com a good informative website?
[23:59] <James> no
[23:59] <James> its 300 12 year olds saying "I LOVE SROS!!"
Quote #733Score: 7 + / -
[01:28:13] yatpay: are you gonna come visit me and t3h laundrymat so i don't get super bored?
[01:29:25] james: superbowl?!
[01:29:39] yatpay: lmfao
Quote #732Score: 22 + / -
James: When I used to go to the Y, there was this room where you were supposed to keep you backpacks.. and one day I took a bag and walked outside and realized it wasn't mine.. and I was too embarassed to go back in and change bags.. so I just threw it in a bush and went and got my actual bag.
Quote #731Score: 10 + / -
Topaz: *Mind controls my SCV and makes it attack my Starport* Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Quote #730Score: 6 + / -
(We're watching the Deep Impact coverage on NASA TV)
NASA TV Guy: We may have hit some interior pockets of gas, which may have made the explosion larger.
[02:14:23] Wacko: I've got an interior pocket of gas waiting to be released
Quote #729Score: 11 + / -
Muffie: Isn't annihilate a funny word?
Muffie: Well, it's funny when you talk about it in the context of.. a dog..
Quote #728Score: 7 + / -
(Talking to his AI soldiers)
Brett: See? This is how walls work..
Quote #727Score: 2 + / -
[21:08:55] scootpchan: I dn't knw
[21:09:09] scootpchan: hmm.... my o's don't seem to work
[21:09:13] scootpchan: except in that sentence...
Quote #726Score: 19 + / -
(Putting a telescope together in the park)
James: This bomb is hard to assemble.
Quote #725Score: 1 + / -
(Zoe's from England)
[12:22:26] Zoe: since when is kansas a state?
[12:22:38] Zoe: i thought it was made up in that wizard of oz thing
[12:22:50] yatpay: lol, no, there is a kansas
[12:22:54] yatpay: it's a giant box of corn fields
[12:22:58] yatpay: the most boring place in the world
[12:23:06] Zoe: woah, you learn something new everyday
Quote #724Score: 1 + / -
[19:24:23] Greg: yeah, i only have a chair in my apartment, so you're all right
[19:24:29] yatpay: lol, wow
[19:24:33] yatpay: is it a nice chair?
[19:24:37] Greg: no
Quote #723Score: 6 + / -
[03:30:49] clark james: beakman's online!
[03:30:57] clark james: i dont know what to do
[03:31:10] clark james: im starstruck
[03:31:28] clark james: whats he doing up?
[03:38:10] clark james: probably experiments
Quote #722Score: -3 + / -
[22:09:35] Mel: We're all out of minerals and don't have any troops, and my last drone duked it out with the computer's last SCV.
[22:10:05] yatpay: lol, wow
[22:10:07] yatpay: who won?
[22:10:10] Mel: And they killed each other at the same time.
[22:10:58] Mel: So the computer didn't recognize a winner. It just sat there with our buildings. And my creep colonies were all like "Don't look at me. I can't unevolve into a drone and save your ass now."
Quote #720Score: 11 + / -
(Eating a yellow gumball)
James: Oh, this doesn't taste like lemon.. oh this doesn't taste good at all.. Oh! Oh! It tastes like mustard! *spits out window*
Quote #719Score: 5 + / -
[22:18:36] topaz: oh man
[22:18:39] topaz: i just realized
[22:18:44] topaz: when i do smily faces
[22:18:47] topaz: i should do them with a period
[22:18:49] topaz: not a colon
[22:18:50] topaz: . )
Quote #718Score: 1 + / -
Brett: Oh my god this is a disaster!! It can't get any worse!! ..yes it can!!!
Quote #717Score: 10 + / -
Becky: I really want this toaster.
yatpay: Why? Because it's round and shiny?
Becky: And red!
Quote #716Score: 25 + / -
James: Don't poke me.. I'm full of potatoes.
Quote #715Score: 2 + / -
[16:24] <Montu_Man> how do you do the large trout thing
[16:24] <Montu_Man> dammit i forget
[16:24] * JamminJ slaps Montu_Man around a bit with a large trout
[16:24] * pipesdrums slaps Montu_Man around a bit with a large trout
[16:24] * James slaps Montu_Man around a bit with a large trout
Quote #714Score: 0 + / -
SmarterChild: Do you have a pet?
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
Quote #713Score: 4 + / -
wackodood (11:17:04 PM): did I tell you
wackodood (11:17:11 PM): about all the shit my dad got us from china and japan
yatpay (11:17:16 PM): no, what'd he get?
wackodood (11:17:29 PM): star wars ep. III dvd
yatpay (11:17:33 PM): lmao
wackodood (11:17:36 PM): yeah
yatpay (11:17:41 PM): does it look professional?
wackodood (11:17:45 PM): no
wackodood (11:17:53 PM): it's a plastic bag with a dvd insert
yatpay (11:17:54 PM): haha
wackodood (11:18:00 PM): and the cd was scratched so it wouldn't play
yatpay (11:18:04 PM): lmao!!
Quote #712Score: 13 + / -
[Random person]: yeah me too. [Superman Ride of Steel] is an awesome ride. compared to [Six Flags New England] this place is going to sound cheesey but have you ever been to Canobie Lake Park?
james: I have
Quote #710Score: 13 + / -
[12:26:04] bryce: DDR scares me
[12:26:05] yatpay: lol, why?
[12:26:31] bryce: look at jurrasic park
[12:26:40] yatpay: .......
[12:26:43] bryce: when the fat guy hit the sign he didn't know where to go
[12:26:49] bryce: the arrow was all mixed up
[12:27:01] bryce: so DDR is the same thing
[12:27:11] bryce: the arrows are all mixed up
[12:27:26] bryce: how willl know where to go if a raptor shows up
[12:27:29] bryce: hmmmm?
[12:27:35] yatpay: so you're afraid that if you play ddr you'll be eaten by a dinosaur
[12:28:10] bryce: more or less
[15:21:06] james: Ah!
[15:21:27] james: now when I DDR...ill have to keep an eye out for raptors :(
Quote #709Score: 4 + / -
[01:55:53] bryce: operation blind BRyce !?!?!?!
Quote #708Score: 8 + / -
James: I ate whole pizza, threw up, ate another pizza, threw it up, then ate a third.. and my cat.
Quote #706Score: 11 + / -
[00:28:12] yatpay: [James] saw a funnel cloud yesterday
[00:28:35] Muffie: oh neat
[00:28:40] Muffie: i like funnel cake
[00:28:43] yatpay: hahaha
[00:28:47] yatpay: i'm making that a quote
[00:29:08] Muffie: whee!
[00:29:23] Muffie: i knew my love of funnel cake would pay off...someday
Quote #705Score: 5 + / -
(Mel, Mike, Bryce, yatpay, and Brett are in a Skype conversation. Brett has just joined and hasn't said anything when..)
Bryce: Let's make a deal.. if Brett gets a sex change and becomes a really hot girl, I'll go out with him.
Bryce: Ahh! I didn't know he was in the room! Well, a deal's a deal.
Quote #704Score: -1 + / -
(Someone was bugging Mel. Paul Zaloom played Beakman. If you don't know who Beakman is shame on you.)
[23:36:20] yatpay: tell him to buzz off or you'll set paul zaloom after him
[23:36:24] yatpay: ZALOOM!
[23:36:49] Mel: Oh man. He'd beat him up old school, but with a hip new flair that kids can understand.
Quote #703Score: 1 + / -
(Mel was telling the address of her old house in Canada so I could look it up in WorldWind)
[22:32:25] Mel: At least, I think we're 10. Once you get that far from civilization, street numbers are less important than....tractors.
Quote #702Score: 4 + / -
(Mel, Brett, and myself are on Skype, but no one's really saying anything when suddenly..)
Brett: Oh my god! I've been talking for like three minutes and my mic wasn't even plugged in!!
Quote #701Score: 7 + / -
Bryce: The key to a good website is a really flashy cursor.
Quote #700Score: -1 + / -
(When Mel was 9 years old and her and her dad were trying to set up their computer so they could play Myst. When they finally got it working it said that it failed because of an "internal error")
Mel: Oh no!!!
Mel's Dad: Don't worry, we'll fix it!
Mel: But it said "eternal error!"
Quote #699Score: -1 + / -
(Topaz and yatpay are playing Unreal Tournament while talking to each other and Mel on Skype)
Topaz: Oh man, the Cicada is awesome
yatpay: I dunno, it's a little jerky
Topaz: No, it's actually really smooth if you know what you're doing
Mel: There's no such thing as too much beef jerky
Quote #698Score: 28 + / -
James: I have to tell you something really stupid I did... involving fire.
Quote #697Score: 6 + / -
[12:08:17] *** Auto-response from james: Im driftwood! :)
Quote #696Score: 0 + / -
[02:16] <HoustonThrills> lol..."My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. And they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Damn right, I wanna trade cards. I'll trade this, but not my charizard."
Quote #695Score: 2 + / -
(Topaz is writing new widgets for Firefox)
[18:10:07] topaz: gah, now firefox crashes when it starts
[18:10:11] topaz: .....it's a feature!
Quote #694Score: 6 + / -
Mel: Do you know anything about robotics?
Mel's Dad: Oh yeah!
Mel: Wait, really?!
Mel's Dad: Yeah!
Mel: Well, have you actually like, made a robot?
Mel's Dad: *thinks for a second... points to Mel*
Mel: I am not a robot! I'm going to my room!
Quote #691Score: 3 + / -
MHS Brandon: *laughs at Matt's "written up for drinking" letter*
Matt: I love this letter!! *rips up letter*
MHS Brandon: You're gonna regret that in the morning..
Matt: I regret it already...
Quote #690Score: -1 + / -
Tony: *Reading off a DVD* What's TFD?
Mel: The... face.. dog.
Quote #689Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: *Explains how at Clark we often rate each other's burps on a scale of 1 to 10*
Becky: We do that in my dance class! ...We're not a very classy dance class..
Quote #687Score: 2 + / -
Muffie's roommate: You're home! And you've written obscenities on the door!
Quote #686Score: 20 + / -
James: OK, I'm going into the house.. I'm getting some water... water is currently in my hand.. and now I'm drinkin-ghghgh... I spilled some.
Quote #685Score: 9 + / -
[21:59:01] becky: omg.
[23:18:38] becky: i just said 'sux0r' to one of my friends
[23:18:39] becky: hahahhahahah
[23:18:44] becky: i have to like stop talking to you
[23:18:47] becky: for about a year
[23:18:52] becky: so i can forget leet
[23:18:55] becky: and be normal again
Quote #684Score: 7 + / -
(20:07:24) James: So.. how do you feel about lightup belts?
Quote #683Score: 7 + / -
(Bryce had been very sick for around 30 hours now..)
yatpay: Where's Bryce?
Mike: He's not in bed?
Mike: Oh shit!
Mike: He said he was going to try to take a shower... like two hours ago!!
Quote #682Score: 10 + / -
[23:10:29] James: ooh
[23:10:29] James: lol
[23:10:33] James: i get it
[23:10:36] James: i get jokes..
Quote #680Score: 1 + / -
[00:44:02] ziplux: i can't stop eating these graham crackers
Quote #679Score: 5 + / -
[21:40:45] becky: because you're like
[21:40:50] becky: a dinosaur that hates plants
[21:40:58] becky: a herbosaur
[21:40:59] becky: or something
[21:41:06] becky: oh no thats the one that likes plants
[21:41:16] becky: meatosauraus
[21:41:19] yatpay: lol, carnivore.....?
[21:41:22] becky: i dont know!
[21:41:24] becky: oh
[21:41:24] becky: hahaha
Quote #678Score: 8 + / -
[21:50:38] becky: no effing clue mate
[21:50:44] becky: i just turned australian for a sec
Quote #677Score: 1 + / -
Brett: If you dumped crude oil on me I would light myself on fire and chase you.
Quote #676Score: 4 + / -
[11:40:46] Tony: Whoa. I had an apple right next to my stressball, and I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing ... and well, nothing happened, but let's just say there are times when we're reminded just how fragile life is.
Quote #675Score: 3 + / -
[19:30:11] Skye: i'll sneak [into Anime Boston 2005] the metal gear way
[19:30:20] yatpay: right
[19:30:24] Skye: and that is in a book
[19:30:32] yatpay: box?
[19:30:44] Skye: uhhhh yea that could work
[19:31:02] Skye: sneaking in in a book would be the wishbone way
[19:31:18] yatpay: lol, wishbone
Quote #674Score: 2 + / -
Horia's away message: Sleeping with a vampire.... the vampire is me.
Quote #673Score: 2 + / -
*Listening to an audio file from Evangelion*
Brett: Wait, I know that... "I don't want to die"?
yatpay: How did you know that?
Brett: I killed a Japanese woman once..
Quote #672Score: 2 + / -
Brett: I don't remember meeting anyone in this room!
Tony: I don't remember meeting you Brett.
Brett: I don't think we ever did meet! I'm Brett!
Tony: Hi, I'm Tony!
Brett: Glad to meet you! *shakes hands*
Quote #671Score: 11 + / -
[12:26:53] yatpay: hahahaha, i have a joke for you...
[12:26:59] James: no you dont
[12:27:03] yatpay: i get this daily joke e-mail that comes like, once every three weeks
[12:27:05] yatpay: and today's was hilarious
[12:27:12] yatpay: Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.
[12:27:25] yatpay: it's not even a joke! it's just sad!! lol
[12:27:31] James: lololol
[12:27:41] James: thats like...
[12:27:45] yatpay: haha, it sounded like something you'd come up with
[12:28:03] James: why did the twin towers fall down... someone crashed a jet into them...
Quote #670Score: 4 + / -
Matt *While drunk* Timeout for thinking..
Quote #669Score: -1 + / -
(While playing Risk, people would sometimes try hit the other person's dice with their own to change the outcome..)
SPOC Guy: Some kind of combination of Risk and bocci ball..
Quote #668Score: 8 + / -
Bryce: *Playing Risk* China is attacking stupid India.
Quote #667Score: 1 + / -
Laura: *Playing Risk* How are 3 men going to defend China!?
Quote #666Score: 11 + / -
James: im in line at [six flags] :-)
Muffie: you must be wetting yourself with joy
Muffie: i'm so happy for you :-D
Muffie: i'm at work
Muffie: that's almost like being in line for a ride
Muffie: except i get to watch movies
Muffie: and when i'm done, there's no ride
Quote #665Score: 4 + / -
Ryan: What is that?
Tony: Capsule Corp?
Mel: ...that's the copyright symbol!
Quote #664Score: 4 + / -
yatpay: *reading online trivia* Every year 98% of the atoms in your body are replaced.
Matt: That's good.
yatpay: Is it?
Matt: Who wants the same atoms?
Quote #663Score: 0 + / -
[23:51:41] ziplux: that gives a new meaning to the word "sux0r".
Quote #662Score: 8 + / -
(20:24:18) Becky: hey have you ever had pineapples?
(20:33:41) wacko: are you
(20:33:44) wacko: joking?
Quote #661Score: 0 + / -
Laura: If I was a dog I'd live.. uh.. um.. well, I'm not a dog so it doesn't matter.
Quote #660Score: 4 + / -
Bryce: Ug.. I've got so much to do today.. I have to watch Pokemon...
Quote #659Score: 4 + / -
Matt: (Referring to a friend who has no class on Friday so he "drinks Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday) I call him an alcoholic and he calls me a loser.
Quote #658Score: 5 + / -
News Anchor: Is God gay? Find out next.
Quote #657Score: 27 + / -
James left this as feedback on eBay: "i think the puzzle is missing a piece..or i might have lost it the day it came.."
Quote #656Score: 3 + / -
Mike: Peeing is an important part of my lifestyle.
Quote #654Score: 1 + / -
Bryce: Wait, Law and Order isn't the news!?
Quote #653Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: Hey, how do I like, find out phone numbers to places?
Quote #652Score: 2 + / -
Tony: My friend and I made a battle bot once.
yatpay: Yeah but you never finished it right?
yatpay: How much did you do?
Tony: Plans.. a wheel....
Tony: Hey! There was a motor attached to that wheel.
Quote #651Score: 10 + / -
Auto response from James (1:27:16 PM): Im a magazine rack.....
Quote #648Score: 1 + / -
Valentine -sensei: That is my opinion.. and hence the opinion of the class.
Quote #647Score: 1 + / -
Bryce: (Talking about homework) Did you write it down? Is it on the internet? ..How old are you?
Quote #646Score: 4 + / -
Brandon : the most efficient and effective form of comedy that even you could use is what i like to call the sudden non-sequitur response
Brandon : along with the combination of inherently funny sounding words or ideas
Brandon : it's simple
Brandon : i'll give you an example
Brandon : you're at a party
Brandon : some girl goes "are you having a good time?"
Brandon : you wait a second
Brandon : look at her dead serious and go
Brandon : "butt sex?"
Brandon : hahaha
Brandon : it doesn't make any sense
Brandon : but it's funny
Brandon : you laugh before your brain can even register that it's not funny
Quote #644Score: 1 + / -
Mike: You should shave.
Mike: Wanna shave?
Mike: Aww... ... ...why not?
Quote #643Score: 11 + / -
[18:55] <VFRideman> hows it going
[18:55] * VFRideman has quit IRC (Leaving)
[18:56] <sfne_stinks> its going good.. i mean.. bye
Quote #642Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: What's this mean? *points to a diagram*
Bryce: I think it means that this......
yatpay: This what?
yatpay: You were in the middle of a sentence and just trailed off.
Bryce: It got tiresome.
Quote #641Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: My deodorant is MIA.
Quote #640Score: 1 + / -
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:18 AM): oh man
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:22 AM): i finished last exile
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:29 AM): i am above and beyond my anime goal
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:35 AM): i am so happy
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:42 AM): i am finally doing something with my life
[Bryce's SN] (3:03:46 AM): i never felt so productive
Quote #639Score: 10 + / -
James (11:45:20 PM): Welcome, James! You have 2051 unread messages: Inbox(37), Bulk(2014)
Quote #638Score: 1 + / -
[Bryce's SN] (11:15:29 PM): my anime goal this break is to finish Utena
yatpay (11:15:58 PM): heh
yatpay (11:16:00 PM): good to set an anime goal
Quote #637Score: 13 + / -
(Messing around with some rocket simulator..)
James (11:59:25 PM): what do i do now?
yatpay (11:59:35 PM): just hit go or whatever
yatpay (11:59:38 PM): and then launch
James (11:59:40 PM): i did..
yatpay (11:59:43 PM): and turn up the time accel
James (11:59:44 PM): do i just wait now?
yatpay (11:59:44 PM): to like, 50
James (11:59:58 PM): i did 1000 :(
yatpay (12:00:02 AM): lmfao
James (12:00:52 AM): what is the goal?
yatpay (12:00:58 AM): lol, i don't know
yatpay (12:01:00 AM): i think to go to mars
yatpay (12:01:04 AM): i didn't read the guy's post
yatpay (12:01:10 AM): did you crash?
yatpay (12:01:26 AM): lol, my probe went off screen
James (12:01:28 AM): lololol
James (12:01:31 AM): i did a flip
James (12:01:35 AM): 4 in a row..
yatpay (12:01:36 AM): lmfao!!
yatpay (12:01:42 AM): you changed all the numbers didn't you!?
James (12:01:46 AM): its going down and flipping
James (12:01:49 AM): i changed them all
yatpay (12:01:56 AM): roflmfao
James (12:01:57 AM): like a few are like 758 666 394
James (12:02:07 AM): ooh now its flipping the other way
James (12:02:28 AM): time = 345.0
James (12:02:33 AM): still going
James (12:02:44 AM): lololololol
James (12:03:02 AM): VEHICLE LOSS : RE ENTRY
Quote #636Score: 14 + / -
yatpay (10:43:41 AM): where are you of the at?
James (10:44:14 AM): lol
James (10:44:35 AM): son3ofnyl33trsdontwor
James (10:44:58 AM): qwrtyuioasdfhjl'xcn.
yatpay (10:45:03 AM): O.o
James (10:45:06 AM): thatsallthatwor
James (10:45:42 AM): nosac3
yatpay (10:46:02 AM): what happened to your letters?
James (10:46:11 AM): DONTNOW
yatpay (10:46:13 AM): lmao
Quote #635Score: 4 + / -
Matt: Whoa.. I just typed "Paris Hilton" into the facebook [a social networking site aimed at college students].. and so many people showed up. ... I'm going to ask every one of them to be my friend!
Quote #634Score: 2 + / -
Matt: This is a challenge for me! Drink all night and go to class in the morning.. but I'm going to shut the door.. before I say that again.
Quote #633Score: 0 + / -
MHS Brandon: How late is the [Moonlight Cafe] open till?
yatpay: 3 in the morning.
MHS Brandon: Is it really? I might have to... go there in a drunken stupor and order some food.
Quote #631Score: 11 + / -
Muffie (9:00:41 PM): i'm so much like me it's scary
Quote #629Score: 1 + / -
wackodood (3:41:20 PM): "I see you're compiling your kernel manually, is it because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could be using Genkernel
Quote #628Score: 0 + / -
Skye (10:02:55 PM): i'm going to use a [medium rocket engine] to shoot a ball bearing [from a pvc pipe]
yatpay (10:03:04 PM): that is the stupidest idea i've ever heard
Skye (10:03:10 PM): or 1000 match heads
yatpay (10:03:16 PM): i stand corrected
Quote #627Score: 14 + / -
yatpay (12:16:08 AM): lol, we're listening to "the racist song"
James (12:16:21 AM): oh
yatpay (12:16:30 AM): "everyone's a little bit racist! sometimes!"
yatpay (12:16:35 AM): lol, it's awesome
James (12:16:36 AM): im sitting alone in the dark.
James (12:16:38 AM): alone
Quote #626Score: 13 + / -
yatpay (5:20:04 PM): lol, look [NASA's] getting creative... look at the helmets: [long link]
James (5:20:49 PM): lol
James (5:20:55 PM): YAY NASA KNOWS PHOTOSHOP!
yatpay (5:21:03 PM): hahaha
James (5:21:35 PM): if only they knew how to not make shuttles blow up
Quote #625Score: 2 + / -
Matt: I will drink! And there will be laughter and merriment.
Quote #624Score: 5 + / -
pnkpizazz (10:25:09 PM): only you
pnkpizazz (10:25:10 PM): would
pnkpizazz (10:25:12 PM): go against
pnkpizazz (10:25:17 PM): the standard way of writing the date
pnkpizazz (10:25:19 PM): and call it retarded
Quote #623Score: 4 + / -
Random guy on phone: Hey. I just got out of bed with my girlfriend.
Matt: .. *hangs up*
Quote #622Score: 12 + / -
James (1:16:38 PM): :( ooh you didnt ask..
James (1:17:12 PM): yatpay : Whats the insider game?
James (1:17:19 PM): sfne stinks : oh its like [No Limits]
James (1:17:25 PM): yatpay : oooh
James (1:17:36 PM): sfne stinks : yeah like NL only with the insider ride..
James (1:17:43 PM): yatpay : whats an insider ride
James (1:17:50 PM): sfne stinks : ill get a pic.
Quote #621Score: 2 + / -
(After a long awkward silence in a conversation)
Mike: Did you know I had a hedgehog?
Mike: His name was Bacon... he died of cancer. Apparently hedgehogs get cancer a lot.. for some reason.
Quote #620Score: 0 + / -
MHS Brandon: I'm so hungry!
yatpay: Want some ramen?
MHS Brandon: No. I'd rather eat feces.
Quote #619Score: 4 + / -
Skye (11:48:13 PM): MY LOGIC IS INFALABLE!!!!!!
yatpay (11:48:38 PM): lol, your logic is anything but infallable
Skye (11:48:48 PM): inflatable??
yatpay (11:49:16 PM): perhaps
Quote #618Score: 4 + / -
(I'm sitting at my desk when suddenly...)
... a few seconds later...
Matt: *opens door* Owwww.... walked into the fuckin' door...
Quote #617Score: 3 + / -
Clark James: What is this in my ear?!
Mike: It's gum!!
Quote #616Score: 4 + / -
yatpay: Is there even anything downtown? ... in downtown Albuquerque?
Brett: There are a few buildings... one of them is green.
Quote #615Score: 0 + / -
nickwins89 (12:25:40 AM): well then, what planet shoudl we colonize first?
yatpay (12:26:03 AM): mars
nickwins89 (12:26:13 AM): but mars is like, cursed or soemthing right?
yatpay (12:26:22 AM): lol, no
Quote #614Score: 0 + / -
Leah: How do you make the website?
yatpay: *opens putty and starts scrolling through HTML code* This is the main page..
Leah: So you.. speak computer.
Quote #613Score: 8 + / -
Becky: I already know HTML.
yatpay: Since when do you know HTML?
Becky: From Livejournal.. I know it all, like, <marquee>..
Becky: What? What else is there?
Quote #612Score: 14 + / -
James (9:58:03 PM): whats CPU Usage.. and is it ok that im using 100%
James (9:58:07 PM): and its not going down..
James (9:58:08 PM): at all...
Quote #611Score: 8 + / -
Bryce: *to Rosie* you're like Hannibal Lecter, except he's more pretty and he knows how to use his tongue.
Quote #610Score: 0 + / -
Rosie: I found pencils in your bed! You've been sleeping with pencils. *looks at Mike* You've got pencils too!
Mike: I can mess around with pencils since I'm single
Bryce: I'm single too!
Bryce: I'm single.. when you're not around!
Quote #609Score: 7 + / -
(17:07:54) pnkpizazz: be dumb like me... its easier i swear
(17:08:00) wackodood: but I can't feign stupidity for long though
(17:08:53) wackodood: I'll be like "yo lolzkthnxendoplasmicreticulum"
Quote #608Score: 0 + / -
Bryce: *opens door* I thought I'd find you here.
yatpay: ..my room?
Bryce: I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed
Quote #607Score: 11 + / -
Brandon: If I found myself stuck outside in a blizzard in Worcester I would cut open a homeless man and sleep inside him.
Quote #606Score: 0 + / -
(In response to "What do you do if a tsunami comes?)
Matt: You dig a hole!
Quote #605Score: 2 + / -
(Rosie was buying a DVD off me for $1)
Rosie: Here you go *hands yatpay a dollar*
(A few minutes later)
Rosie: Oh, before I forget, here's your dollar *hands yatpay a dollar*
yatpay: ...you just paid me.
Quote #604Score: 0 + / -
Smashley: How's Talia?
Mike: Still asian.
Quote #603Score: 5 + / -
Brandon: My typical day consists of waiting to eat.
Quote #602Score: 0 + / -
Valentine -sensei: (Something in Japanese)
Valentine -sensei: Yes, when in doubt just randomly agree to whatever it is that sensei is saying.
Quote #600Score: 1 + / -
(Singing the theme to Katamari Damacy)
Bryce: Na naaa, na na na na na na na katamari tsunami...
Quote #599Score: 1 + / -
yatpay's Grandmother: What's your e-mail number?
Quote #598Score: 0 + / -
(Me and Mike both read Real Life Comics and the artist, also the main character of the comic, just asked his girlfriend to marry him.)
yatpay (11:03:26 AM): i think it's so funny how he met her through the comic
scootpchan (11:03:41 AM): i know, that's crazy
scootpchan (11:03:51 AM): ...i need to start a webcomic...
yatpay (11:03:55 AM): lmao
Quote #597Score: 10 + / -
James: *Sprays laptop keyboard with air in a can* Gah! Ech! Ahh! Like, half my cat just came out!!
Quote #596Score: -1 + / -
(At WPI Mike's first electrical and computer engineering class at WPI)
Prof. Cyganski: Is anyone here really good at sports?
Random student: Come on, this is WPI!
Quote #595Score: 1 + / -
[Bryce's SN] (10:37:29 PM): hey freak boy
yatpay (10:37:34 PM): lol, wtf
[Bryce's SN] (10:37:39 PM): what cha talking about
yatpay (10:37:43 PM): eh?
[Bryce's SN] (10:37:51 PM): what are you talking about
[Bryce's SN] (10:37:57 PM): that is my new what's up
yatpay (10:38:01 PM): lol, that's terrible
[Bryce's SN] (10:39:06 PM): i know
[Bryce's SN] (10:40:03 PM): but if by terrible you mean brilliant
[Bryce's SN] (10:40:07 PM): then yes terrible
yatpay (10:40:09 PM): haha
yatpay (10:40:19 PM): lol, how have i lived without your logic
[Bryce's SN] (10:40:48 PM): i dunno, the question is how have i lived this long WITH my logic
yatpay (10:41:17 PM): lmfao
Quote #594Score: 4 + / -
(James and Wacko were waiting for me in Boston. When I got down there and found them...)
Wacko: Is it immoral to pay a homeless person a dollar to dance for the camera?
Quote #592Score: 23 + / -
(While watching Fight Club)
yatpay: I wouldn't fight Brad Pitt.. he'd kick my ass.
James: Who would you fight?
James: Stephen Hawking?
Quote #591Score: 5 + / -
Becky: Oh my god! It gets cold in South Dakota?!
Quote #590Score: 2 + / -
yatpay (9:53:23 PM): i need one of those things people have when they break their neck so i don't have to support my own head
wackodood (9:53:34 PM): oh... kay
Quote #589Score: 40 + / -
Brandon: Technically me and Tim (his roommate) should clash since.. he's black and I'm.. a racist.
Quote #588Score: 1 + / -
(While Matt is half asleep)
yatpay: *Reading off the biology review* Matt! Quick! "In receptor-mediated endocytosis, receptor-ligand complexes first accumulate in BLANK before being endocytosed into the cell."
Matt: Dunkin' Donuts!
Quote #587Score: 4 + / -
pnkpizazz (10:14:41 PM): i had to use my phone calculator to add 7.50+6.50+4.25 the other day
yatpay (10:15:03 PM): 18.35?
pnkpizazz (10:15:14 PM): WHAT?!
yatpay (10:15:15 PM): ah shit
yatpay (10:15:17 PM): i read it wrong
yatpay (10:15:20 PM): lol
yatpay (10:15:22 PM): how did i do that
pnkpizazz (10:15:28 PM): i dunno
pnkpizazz (10:15:29 PM): but
pnkpizazz (10:15:31 PM): i think
yatpay (10:15:32 PM): 18.25
pnkpizazz (10:15:42 PM): umm
pnkpizazz (10:15:42 PM): no
pnkpizazz (10:15:44 PM): 17.25
pnkpizazz (10:15:46 PM): dumbass
yatpay (10:15:57 PM): nope
yatpay (10:16:00 PM): 18.25
pnkpizazz (10:16:03 PM): no...
pnkpizazz (10:16:09 PM): OMG!!!
yatpay (10:16:09 PM): 7.50 + 6.50 = 7 + 7 = 14
yatpay (10:16:14 PM): 14 + 4.25 = 18.25
pnkpizazz (10:16:18 PM): I CAN'T EVEN ADD ON A CALCULATOR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yatpay (10:16:23 PM): lmao, oh no!
pnkpizazz (10:16:40 PM): WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
pnkpizazz (10:16:44 PM): and i thought i just got gipped a dollar
Quote #586Score: 4 + / -
pnkpizazz (10:00:18 PM): can you write me a thesis statment about anne frank?
pnkpizazz (10:00:20 PM): please?
wackodood (10:00:33 PM): SHE WAS ONE HORNY TEEN
Quote #585Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: Wouldn't it be ironic if Rosie ("Veggieburger") got in a car accident and became a vegetable?
Clark James: I think it'd be better if she got turned into a meat product.
Quote #584Score: 6 + / -
wackodood (5:24:52 PM): you know how when you write your email in the "unsubscribe" thing on spam mail?
wackodood (5:25:17 PM): and they usually end up sending you more spam
wackodood (5:25:20 PM): well
wackodood (5:25:29 PM): I did some research on the website that was spamming me
wackodood (5:25:35 PM): and found the owner's email address
yatpay (5:25:38 PM): hahaha
wackodood (5:25:38 PM): and "added" it
yatpay (5:25:40 PM): lmao
Quote #582Score: 3 + / -
topaz2078 (2:00:20 AM): even your lag lags
Quote #581Score: 8 + / -
Mike: I'm gonna go tequila up this mocktail.
Quote #579Score: 2 + / -
Tony: (While wearing a leather jacket) I likes to eat the cow and I likes to wear the cow.
Quote #578Score: 2 + / -
Matt: If I'm still talking to you in an hour wake me up..
Quote #577Score: 8 + / -
(Talking about spun-up blindfolded hall racing)
yatpay: You'll go bouncing off the walls and into people's rooms..
Bryce: That's what I do anyway.
Quote #576Score: 1 + / -
(Talking about the game Stealth, where everyone has a target to "kill")
Brett: I think Mike has me.
Brett: I don't know I just like making assumptions.
Quote #575Score: 14 + / -
James (8:34:31 PM): ooh i have my new Engrish on
yatpay (8:34:37 PM): oh?
yatpay (8:34:39 PM): what is it?
James (8:35:10 PM): stick with coffee and alcohol
yatpay (8:35:21 PM): heh, link?
James (8:35:52 PM): [link]
yatpay (8:36:02 PM): hahaha
James (8:36:28 PM): i got the black one
James (8:36:35 PM): because im a sad teen :(
Quote #574Score: 2 + / -
(Joe had just taken us to Best Buy so Bryce could by Katamari Damacy)
Bryce: What's that?
Joe: Cat shrimp. I could go for some cat shrimp.
Bryce: No wait, that's squid.
Joe: Oh yeah.
Bryce: What the hell is cat shrimp?
Joe: I don't know but I kinda want one..
Quote #573Score: 3 + / -
Mike: (When woken up) Just let me do the toast..
Quote #572Score: 2 + / -
(Things are said in Japanese)
Valentine -sensei: there is... a small bomb.
Quote #571Score: 1 + / -
(Note the timestamps on this one)
yatpay (8:07:34 PM): how's the jello goin
Skye (8:07:48 PM): have been able to start
Skye (8:50:49 PM): havn't*\
yatpay (8:50:57 PM): nice reflexes
Skye (8:51:30 PM): shut up
Quote #570Score: 4 + / -
(Brett's from Albuquerque)
yatpay: So how hot does it get in Albuquerque?
Brett: ..you ever see a sandal melt on a sidewalk?
Quote #569Score: 18 + / -
Brandon: Pirates don't know how to say "can't"... they only know how to say "arr".
Quote #568Score: 5 + / -
Bryce: We should sneak milk into vegans' meals.
Brandon: How about urine?
Quote #567Score: 8 + / -
Brandon: Why is it normal to drink on a Friday night but not Monday morning?
Quote #566Score: 4 + / -
(Talking about the TI-89 calculator, Wacko just got one)
yatpay (7:27:42 PM): it could probably make a sandwich
wackodood (7:28:32 PM): *looks that up in the manual*
yatpay (7:28:35 PM): lol
yatpay (7:28:45 PM): sandwich(ham,cheese)
wackodood (7:29:16 PM): with respect to rye
yatpay (7:29:19 PM): lmao
Quote #565Score: 6 + / -
(I walk in)
Bryce: The door was open?
Bryce: I could've been raped... I wouldn't have even noticed.
Quote #564Score: 13 + / -
(Skye said that he was going to build a railgun.... this is about a month later)
yatpay (11:33:00 PM): how's the railgun :-D
Skye (11:33:37 PM): the people i was suposed to work with fell out on me
Skye (11:33:46 PM): we are makeing 50 gallons of jello now
yatpay (11:33:51 PM): O_O
Skye (11:34:03 PM): want some??
yatpay (11:34:05 PM): lol, no
(So I told James about it...)
yatpay (11:42:27 PM): ............skye is going to try to make 50 gallons of jello
James (11:43:07 PM): ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
James (11:43:09 PM): why?!
yatpay (11:43:12 PM): lol, i don't know
James (11:43:13 PM): whats he putting it in?
James (11:43:15 PM): bathtub?
James (11:43:18 PM): and if so
James (11:43:23 PM): i want to see it / play in it
(A little later...)
James (11:46:13 PM): now i want to try it
(Then on the phone a little later...)
yatpay: I think that if you went in under your head you'd die cause you wouldn't be able to get it out because of the suction!
James: I'd use a snorkel! ...I'd sleep under there! I'd be the first person to live under Jello!
Quote #563Score: 3 + / -
(Talking about the Mario Mushroom)
Bryce: They're not so much a happy mushroom as they are a "what the hell am I?" mushroom.
Quote #562Score: 1 + / -
(Things are said in Japanese)
Valentine -sensei: <big> biru (building).. or even better, <big> beeru (beer).
Quote #560Score: 3 + / -
Quote #559Score: 7 + / -
Rosie: *looks at my homework* Is that physics?
yatpay: ..that's Japanese.
Quote #558Score: 4 + / -
Valentine -sensei: Somehow KFC has convinced the Japanese that a real American Christmas Eve involves ordering take out... at KFC.
Quote #557Score: 55 + / -
Mike: Monkeys are born without anuses.
Brandon: ...are you an idiot?
Quote #556Score: 3 + / -
yatpay (9:32:56 PM): skeedily bap!
topaz2078 (9:33:11 PM): top of skeedily bap!
Quote #555Score: 1 + / -
(Talking about "Where's Waldo?")
Willow (12:14:09 AM): i cheat now that i have photoshop, i just filter out all the colors but red n white
Quote #554Score: 2 + / -
(This is old but whatever)
(At Arisia '02 Willow was going to meet me in the lobby at 9:00, I get there and Willow doesn't show up until around 9:08)
Willow: *looks down from mezzanine, right above the clock on the wall* Hey!
yatpay: Hey! You're late!
Willow: *looks at clock* *moves clock to 9:00* No I'm not!
Quote #553Score: 6 + / -
(After watching Princess Mononoke)
Mike: [yatpay], if you were a god you'd be the space spirit.
Bryce: What god would I be?
Mike: Shut up.
Quote #552Score: 3 + / -
Bryce: Did somebody shave me last night?
Quote #551Score: 2 + / -
yatpay (12:08:03 PM): lol, did you see that guy outside the caf
Bryce (12:08:10 PM): what?
Bryce (12:08:12 PM): when?
yatpay (12:08:17 PM): this guy handing out flyers for pizza
yatpay (12:08:20 PM): with no phone number or store name
Bryce (12:08:26 PM): lol
Bryce (12:08:27 PM): what?
yatpay (12:08:29 PM): he said he'll be there every monday around noon with ten pizzas in his car
Bryce (12:08:30 PM): that is ridiculous
Bryce (12:09:02 PM): i would never buy pizza from a guy in the back his car
yatpay (12:09:37 PM): lmfao, i know!
Quote #550Score: 3 + / -
(After talking about a schizophrenic person who talked to imaginary people.)
Bryce: That's kind of weird... and by kind of I mean extremely.. and by weird I mean crazy.
Quote #549Score: 2 + / -
(I've been waking Mike and Bryce up for breakfast at 8 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday)
Bryce: (half asleep) Is it even 8 yet?
yatpay: It's 8:16.
Bryce: My life's... passing me by.
Quote #548Score: 5 + / -
Clark James: Smashley, you know how you hate when people write the wrong "you're"? I hate when people draw the swastika the wrong way.
Quote #547Score: 5 + / -
Smashley: Do we look like Ludacris fans?
Clark James: I don't know, it's dark.
Quote #546Score: 23 + / -
Clark James: Fartman Fartman... that's my pen name. ..I write romance novels.
Brandon: "The Fruit of her Loins " by Fartman Fartman
Quote #545Score: 2 + / -
Smashley: I have no problem kicking a guy in the balls if they piss me off.
Clark James: I have no problem not being your friend ever!
Quote #544Score: 7 + / -
Clark James: Mike, you're like an action figure: pants sold separately.
Quote #543Score: 1 + / -
Mike: I would paint with shit if it didn't smell so bad.
Quote #542Score: 2 + / -
(Mike was in his room for a few minutes when Smash, who was lying motionless on the bed covered in blankets and stuff, suddenly sat up.)
Mike: Whoa! Smashley! I didn't know you were there!
Smashley: Neither did I!
Quote #541Score: -1 + / -
Valentine -sensei: If you're happy and you know it clap your cheek... If you're not take the heel of your hand and hit yourself in the forehead.
Quote #540Score: 1 + / -
(Things are said in Japanese)
Valentine -sensei: When is Independence Day?
Lopez -san: <June>. No wait..
Valentine -sensei: Well, some people celebrate it then but they're just wrong.
Quote #539Score: 2 + / -
Valentine -sensei: When we were in Japan we were at a movie theater and saw a sign that said "Survivors will be violated".
Quote #538Score: 0 + / -
[Reli] (12:11:30 AM): okay, this is scaring me
[Reli] (12:11:36 AM): you're going to think I'm insane and all
[Reli] (12:11:38 AM): but my computer
[Reli] (12:11:42 AM): is making sounds
[Reli] (12:11:45 AM): like michael jackson
yatpay (12:11:49 AM): awesome!
[Reli] (12:11:51 AM): like it keeps going "oh!"
[Reli] (12:11:54 AM): "oh!"
Quote #537Score: 0 + / -
DOKool (5:22:26 PM): latest conspiracy:
DOKool (5:22:44 PM): karl rove bribed rockstar to release GTA:SA in october to cancel out the youth vote
yatpay (5:22:55 PM): lmao
Quote #536Score: 3 + / -
KingDragon2078 (5:09:46 PM): hey do you know your cars at all?
yatpay (5:10:20 PM): cars?
KingDragon2078 (5:10:22 PM): yeah
KingDragon2078 (5:10:48 PM): like Nissan, Toyoda, Ford...
yatpay (5:11:07 PM): what about them?
KingDragon2078 (5:11:28 PM): do you know what a Nissan Skyline GTR M-Spec is?
yatpay (5:11:39 PM): lol, a car
Quote #535Score: 1 + / -
(16:59:23) Masha: Is it possible that you died?
(16:59:54) [Reli]: quite
(17:00:00) [Reli]: I hear fingernail growth continues after death
(17:00:06) [Reli]: so it could be my growing fingernails striking the keys
(17:00:08) [Reli]: and doing the typing
(17:00:33) Masha: How many fingers do you have?
(17:00:41) [Reli]: like, thirty
Quote #534Score: 1 + / -
Wacko's Mom: So no one knows who won the election yet
Wacko: Yeah they do, it's on the front page of The Register *points to local newspaper*
Wacko's Mom: *trying to read upside down* 'Bank recaptures White House?'... Oh, Bush.
Quote #533Score: 3 + / -
(20:18:06) Wacko: Gandhi's wife's name was Kasturbai
(20:18:16) Wacko: and the suggestions for MS word check was 'masturbation'
(20:18:20) Wacko: like, the only one
(20:18:27) Wacko: 'masturbation', 'masturbating'
(20:18:31) Wacko: not even like
(20:18:35) Wacko: Kansas
Quote #532Score: 5 + / -
(Bryce is playing Grand Theft Auto a few days after GTA: San Andreas came out)
yatpay: Is this the new one?
Tim: No, in the new one you're black!
Brandon: Yeah, it's more accurate.
Tim: *kind of glares at Brandon*
Brandon: No wait! Not because of that! Haha, I meant it's more realistic... never mind..
Quote #531Score: 10 + / -
Auto response from James (12:24:39 PM): if only i had more space to make my away messa