Quotes

Welcome to the quotes page. When people say funny things, I write them down. I started doing this some time in 2003 and the collection has been steadily growing ever since. Around 2006 I introduced the voting system. If you like a quote, click the up arrow, if you don't like it, click the down arrow. That's it! Enjoy!
Quote #517Score: 10 + / -
(Buying Girl Scout cookies)
Brandon: How much are they?
Girl Scout: Four dollars.
Brandon: Holy shit! Four bucks!?
Girl Scout: No, one dollar. .. you just swore!
Brandon: ..No I didn't.
Quote #516Score: 1 + / -
Jabberwok42 (6:45:00 PM): i had a dream that you were going to pitch for the red sox and evil cyborgs were trying to kill you (so you wouldnt be able to pitch, you see...)
Quote #515Score: 10 + / -
Auto response from James (12:04:41 AM): :( i wish i wasnt radioactive anymore :(
Quote #514Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about Chinese food)
Laura: Ooo, what'd you get?
Kevin: Cholesterol.
Quote #513Score: 3 + / -
Army Sean: You have slain: Laura. You have 30 pounds of meat but can only carry 15 back to the wagon.
Quote #512Score: 5 + / -
Rosie: I don't think I'm drunk enough.
Clark James: Rosie.. you just said you could climb onto the bed on a spider web.
Quote #511Score: 3 + / -
Rosie: Where are we going to get helmets!?
Smashley: Let's take off our pants!
Quote #510Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: (holds up Rosie's camera with a picture of her on it)
Rosie: Hey! I have a camera like that!
yatpay: It's your camera!
Rosie: Oh. Who is that on it?
yatpay: It's you!
Quote #509Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: Hey Horia, are there squirrels in Romania?
Horia: Yeah.
yatpay: How'd they get there?
Horia: They're flying squirrels.
Quote #508Score: 3 + / -
[Commander] (7:44:22 PM): lol I didn't know you had this funny picture of sylie
yatpay (7:45:18 PM): which one?
[Commander] (7:46:47 PM): the one where her mouth is half open
yatpay (7:46:59 PM): ???
yatpay (7:47:07 PM): that's cocoa, lol
[Commander] (7:47:10 PM): what? *_*
yatpay (7:47:22 PM): in the favorites gallery?
[Commander] (7:47:24 PM): [long URL] this?
yatpay (7:47:34 PM): haha, yes. that is not your cat.
yatpay (7:47:38 PM): that is james' cat
[Commander] (7:47:44 PM): *_* holy shit
Quote #507Score: 3 + / -
Lone Beaver (7:42:02 PM): my pikachu is better than your pikachu
yatpay (7:42:49 PM): <-- pikachu
Lone Beaver (7:44:44 PM): <----
Quote #506Score: 2 + / -
pnkpizazz (7:41:03 PM): what if random ppl IMed me
pnkpizazz (7:41:06 PM): and they were lkem
pnkpizazz (7:41:07 PM): oh i'm a huge fan
yatpay (7:41:16 PM): you'll be all excited
pnkpizazz (7:41:50 PM): i'll be like oh do you want me to scan you my autograph
pnkpizazz (7:42:00 PM): then i'll remember that [Wacko] stole itand took it to south dakota with him
pnkpizazz (7:42:01 PM): and kill myself
Quote #505Score: 3 + / -
(18:32:31) pnkpizazz: i accidentely
(18:32:32) pnkpizazz: brought home
(18:32:35) pnkpizazz: my algebra book
(18:32:37) wackodood: lmao
Quote #504Score: 2 + / -
pnkpizazz (7:27:09 PM): can you just make up a quote for me so i can have 27 quotes
yatpay (7:27:18 PM): lol, why 27?
pnkpizazz (7:27:28 PM): because 2+7=9
pnkpizazz (7:27:30 PM): dhhh
pnkpizazz (7:27:34 PM): which is a factorial of 3
pnkpizazz (7:27:39 PM): which 4 less then 7
pnkpizazz (7:27:42 PM): which is my lucky number
pnkpizazz (7:27:54 PM): duhhhh
yatpay (7:28:27 PM): ...
pnkpizazz (7:28:53 PM): and 4 is YOUR lucky number
pnkpizazz (7:28:54 PM): so it works out
Quote #503Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about her mom not wanting her to go to Arisia)
[Reli's SN] (12:50:38 AM): she's scared I'll come home being all like
[Reli's SN] (12:50:55 AM): "re..li...phone...home..."
yatpay (12:50:59 AM): lmfao
Quote #502Score: 10 + / -
(While laying on a TempurPedic bed)
James: This feels too hard... and I sleep on a floor!
Quote #501Score: 3 + / -
Matt: I love SpaceShipOne but it's the only spaceship in the world so fuck.... *trails off*
Quote #499Score: 3 + / -
Brandon: Bryce is the A.J. of Thursday night.
Quote #498Score: 10 + / -
Muffie (2:01:24 PM): i'm trying to write a paper and it's not going very well at all
James (2:02:03 PM): :-(
Muffie (2:04:33 PM): i tried yelling at it
James (2:04:44 PM): lol
James (2:04:48 PM): did you hit it?
James (2:04:50 PM): slap it?
James (2:04:51 PM): lick it?
Muffie (2:04:52 PM): but that didn't help
Muffie (2:04:52 PM): then i tried eating fudge....that didn't help either
Quote #497Score: 3 + / -
Lone Beaver (2:08:35 AM): i hope to die at a party some day
Lone Beaver (2:08:44 AM): only with an explosive strapped to my chest
Quote #495Score: 3 + / -
yatpay (2:59:52 PM): go here: [old link to my webcam page] and tell me when you can see me
[Anonymous] (3:00:17 PM): will u be able to see me ?
Quote #494Score: 3 + / -
Laura: I think you may have had a little too much to drink there Rosie.
Rosie: Look at my pants they're so cool!!
--A little later..--
Rosie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Laura: Don't go in your pants...
Rosie: They're not my pants! Hahaha!
Quote #493Score: 0 + / -
(Watching the SpaceShipOne's X-Prize attempt on a NASA webcast)
DOKool (9:08:30 AM): who is this guy?
yatpay (9:08:39 AM): he's like, head of the x-prize
DOKool (9:08:52 AM): bit of a flare for the dramatic, eh?
yatpay (9:09:01 AM): haha, oh yeah.
DOKool (9:09:07 AM): i mean, jesus
DOKool (9:09:16 AM): i'm waiting for the part where he says that today, we celebrate our independence day
Quote #492Score: 5 + / -
(Before Wacko graduated high school)
yatpay (8:45:20 AM): you're up early!
wackodood (8:45:24 AM): ...
wackodood (8:45:26 AM): I have SCHOOL
Quote #491Score: 56 + / -
(Playing Megaman)
Brandon: You ever wonder if Megaman is just crazy and all the other robots are trying to stop him?
Quote #490Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about the news)
Brett: That guy totally got botox..
Kevin: No that's his real hair!
*Brett, Mike, and yatpay laugh*
Kevin: What?
Brett: I said botox!
Kevin: Ohh.. I thought that you said toupee.
yatpay: How do you mix up botox and toupee!?
Quote #488Score: 3 + / -
(18:44:58) Tom: I think that everything in life can fall under one of four categories.
(18:45:18) wackodood: it was five with socrates
(18:45:21) wackodood: but w/e
Quote #487Score: 10 + / -
(18:41:57) wackodood: that hurts, Becky
(18:42:20) pnkpizazz: so does my hamstring
(18:42:30) wackodood: touche
(18:42:37) pnkpizazz: >:o
(18:42:39) pnkpizazz: no!
(18:42:46) wackodood: what?
Quote #486Score: 1 + / -
(17:11:28) pnkpizazz: okay so you read harry potter right
(17:11:35) wackodood: umm
(17:11:38) wackodood: 1 - 3
(17:12:02) pnkpizazz: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(17:12:04) pnkpizazz: UMM
(17:12:05) pnkpizazz: HELLO
(17:12:06) pnkpizazz: THERE ARE 5
(17:12:10) wackodood: lmao
Quote #485Score: 1 + / -
In Matt's management class they'll have to go out into Worcester and talk to local businesses..
Professor: So you should go in pairs.. and wear shoes that you can run away in....
Quote #484Score: 3 + / -
(Talking about roleplaying)
yatpay: I'll be a female Elvish midget!
Rosie: ...are you making fun of me?
Quote #483Score: 3 + / -
Becky: Are you sure it's American history past the civil war?
yatpay: Becky.. I'm pretty sure that the American space program was American history past the civil war...
Quote #482Score: 5 + / -
(Playing chess)
Laura: That move's probably wrong but whatever.
Brett: Checkmate.
Laura: Fuck!
Quote #481Score: 0 + / -
(Playing chess, Laura is playing her second game ever and has inadvertently avoided the Fool's Mate)
Laura: Ha! See? I'm not a fool!
Brett: Checkmate.
Laura: Fuck!
Quote #480Score: 2 + / -
Bryce: With a camera and a wire in your eye the possibilities are endless.
Quote #478Score: 17 + / -
[Medusa's SN] (9:47:10 PM): How did you get the video onto the computer? like, what device?...
yatpay (9:47:17 PM): camera
yatpay (9:47:20 PM): video camera
*this conversation shown to wacko*
wackodood (9:51:06 PM): haha
wackodood (9:51:16 PM): I would say
wackodood (9:51:19 PM): "a tennis ball"
Quote #477Score: 4 + / -
(After the fire alarm was pulled twice in a week)
Matt: It's 3:18 in the morning! ... only another hour until the fire alarm..
Quote #476Score: 1 + / -
Good G Lovin 77 (11:20:19 PM): i was once ducttaped to the wall by a gang of indians
Quote #475Score: 1 + / -
Girl yelling in hallway: I'm not a virgin anymore guys!!
Quote #474Score: 6 + / -
(Talking about the Genesis probe which crashed into the desert at 193 mph instead of floating gently down on a parachute.)
yatpay: *Watching video of crash* Ahhh, noo! ARG! It.. it was going so fast!
Brett: Well yeah dude, it came from space! That's a long fall!
Quote #473Score: 2 + / -
*Looking at pictures from Wacko's trip through Western South Dakota*
(15:37:04) sfne stinks: oh no!
(15:37:10) sfne stinks: thems eatting cows!
(15:37:14) wackodood: yeah...
(15:37:15) wackodood: haha
(15:37:27) wackodood: they walk around all over the place in the black hills
(15:37:34) wackodood: it's like India
(15:37:41) wackodood: only the cows get killed later on... :-\
Quote #472Score: 4 + / -
(Laura can't smell. Like being blind but with smells.)
Bryce: *Talking about the "Hate Laura Club"* And you know what we do in the club? We just smell things!!
Quote #471Score: -1 + / -
Abby (12:50:00 AM): lol that's cute toilet paper
Quote #470Score: 19 + / -
Auto response from wackodood (11:20:09 PM): Woot woot. In Western South Dakota.
sfne stinks (11:22:12 PM): wackso so way out west
sfne stinks (11:22:24 PM): like that dumb little mouse
sfne stinks (11:22:26 PM): that went west
sfne stinks (11:22:32 PM): but then a cat ate his family..
sfne stinks(11:22:36 PM): Oh No wacko!!
sfne stinks (11:22:43 PM): dont let the cat eat your family!!
Quote #469Score: -4 + / -
Dan: *after being Airzooked* You do that again and I'm gonna shove my foot down your throat... well.. not really since it wouldn't fit but you know..
Quote #468Score: 7 + / -
Prof. Sternberg: I don't do numbers, I'm a mathematician.
Quote #467Score: 2 + / -
yatpay (4:01:30 PM): ... did you know that sucrose is formed by a 1-2 glycosidic linkage between glucose and fructose?
becky (4:01:56 PM): uhhhhh
becky (4:02:07 PM): supercalifragalistickexpialidocious
yatpay (4:02:14 PM): lmao
Quote #466Score: 1 + / -
Elaine: See that pillow? .. Kind of looks like my liver.
Quote #465Score: 1 + / -
[Reli's SN]: (3:49:58 PM): when I think of james I think of bunnies and jesus.
[Reli's SN]: (3:50:05 PM): of jesus bunnies, if you will.
Quote #464Score: 0 + / -
(At Clark there's a building called the "Sackler Science Center")
Joel: Sackler!? I thought it was Slacker!
Quote #463Score: 4 + / -
(00:45:00) James : i am of the playing the RCT and of t3h haveing coaster birth
(00:45:11) Steph: don't give birth on a coaster!!!
(00:45:25) Steph: pregnant people aren't supposed to ride coasters!!!
(00:46:46) James: LOL!
Quote #462Score: 7 + / -
yatpay: Do you know what the space station is?
Olivia (Steph's 2 year old cousin): You! *points to James*
Quote #461Score: 13 + / -
(Steph had taken care of James' guinea pig Septima for two weeks while he was away)
James: Here *hands Steph a Sam Goody gift card*
Steph: Aww, thank you!
James: ...shut up!
Quote #460Score: 10 + / -
James: I'm just fat up and down
Quote #459Score: 3 + / -
(KK is going to college in Iowa)
yatpay: So what're you going to study in Iowa?
KK: Biowa. No wait!
Quote #458Score: 0 + / -
wackodood (1:47:26 AM): I should be your uncle
Quote #457Score: 7 + / -
(Note the timestamps on this one...)
wackodood (1:59:38 AM): g'nite
wackodood (7:14:22 PM): brb
yatpay (7:14:25 PM): ...
Quote #456Score: 2 + / -
Michele: My power went out at my house, and I got wicked scared and called my mom. I thought it was like a terrorist attack!!
Quote #455Score: 1 + / -
(I had just captured a huge bug in my basement and I said how I was going to leave it there to see how long it lived without food (I had heard months).)
nickwins89 (3:26:15 AM): see how long it lives
nickwins89 (3:26:19 AM): UNDER YOUR FOOT!
Quote #453Score: 3 + / -
[Reli's SN] (2:12:25 PM): alright, I'm out like Stephen Hawking in the hokey pokey
Quote #452Score: 3 + / -
yatpay (1:26:00 AM): james. you need to stop using exclamation points in randomass places
[James' SN] (1:26:17 AM): no i! dont
Quote #450Score: 5 + / -
(Mozart)
wackodood (1:51:30 AM): I've been listening to the Magic Flute for almost an hour now
wackodood (1:51:34 AM): and I haven't heard one damn flute
Quote #448Score: 2 + / -
(Talking to Topaz on Skype)
Weather: *BRIGHT FLASH!*
yatpay: Whoa! Listen for this, it'll be really loud.
Weather: *rumble*
yatpay: Aw, that was disappointing..
Weather: BOOM!!!
yatpay: AHH HOLY SHIT!
Quote #447Score: 16 + / -
(Fireworks)
James: The box says it doesn't explode but I think it does..
Quote #446Score: 2 + / -
[WPI Mike's SN]: i get all my social skills from the simpsons, i just wait for a conversation who's topic gets close enough to a simpsons quote...
Quote #445Score: 6 + / -
Becky: You just made an ugly face.
yatpay's Mom: I just slammed my finger in a window!
Quote #444Score: 15 + / -
(A dead mouse)
Becky: I don't want to clean it up! It's all bloody! What if I get AIDS.. and die on impact!
yatpay: On impact with what?
Becky: AIDS!!
Quote #443Score: 4 + / -
(We found a mouse in the basement and our cat killed it and I wouldn't get rid of if.. I was going to Clark in August)
Becky: That's why we're getting rid of you in August! But your mousetrap is more expensive..
Quote #442Score: 2 + / -
Mr. Greg: The other day I realized I hate kids.
Quote #441Score: 6 + / -
yatpay (4:08:34 AM): UGG!!!! a bug just hit my fan and EXPLODED spewing bug juice all over my room!!!!
wackodood (4:08:48 AM): MONSTER KILL
Quote #439Score: 3 + / -
Willow: There's a bunch of shit under my keyboard... oh a laser! OW!! My fuckin' eye! Hey it still works!
Quote #438Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: So, what've you been up to lately?
Willow: I shot the mayor today.
Quote #437Score: 1 + / -
Willow: I make perfect shigglyboo sense!
Quote #436Score: 2 + / -
[Reli's SN] (6:45:10 PM): I have a secret weapon that helps me
yatpay (6:45:15 PM): red bull?
[Reli's SN] (6:45:18 PM): nope
yatpay (6:45:21 PM): amp?
[Reli's SN] (6:45:22 PM): lol, you're hilarious
[Reli's SN] (6:45:30 PM): lol, no
[Reli's SN] (6:45:31 PM): it's not a drink
yatpay (6:45:34 PM): pure caffeine?
[Reli's SN] (6:45:35 PM): or food
yatpay (6:45:37 PM): :-(
[Reli's SN] (6:45:37 PM): nope
[Reli's SN] (6:45:39 PM): hehehe
yatpay (6:45:43 PM): THE SPACE SHUTTLE!?!?!?
[Reli's SN] (6:45:48 PM): YES!!!!
[Reli's SN] (6:45:51 PM): HOW DID YOU GUESS?!?!??!?
yatpay (6:45:53 PM): w00t!!!
[Reli's SN] (6:46:01 PM): HAVE YOU BEEN READING MY MANIFESTO????!??!
Quote #435Score: 17 + / -
Pepto Bismol Commercial: Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach--
James: AIDS!
Quote #434Score: 12 + / -
(Talking about James' forum)
yatpay (11:07:36 AM): you should hold yourself up to the same standards =P
[James' SN] (11:07:43 AM): no
[James' SN] (11:07:49 AM): cause im Admin
[James' SN] (11:07:56 AM): im better then everyone..
Quote #433Score: 14 + / -
yatpay (2:21:58 PM): heh, my clark booklet tells me what kind of clothes i should bring for new england..
[James' SN] (2:22:47 PM): lol
[James' SN] (2:22:51 PM): pants
Quote #432Score: 11 + / -
[James' SN]: myspacebarisbroken.
Quote #431Score: 4 + / -
Anna: I have to get a graduation dress.
Rachel: Graudation dress?
Anna: For under the gown.
Rachel: ..you have to wear something under the gown?
Quote #430Score: 3 + / -
Rob: Flash photography frightens Mexicans.
Quote #429Score: 4 + / -
Uncle Brian: Is there really such a thing as normal?
Uncle Steven: There are certainly people a lot more normal than us.
Quote #428Score: 19 + / -
(At graduation)
Dr. Burke: I just want to be your principal.. one last time..
Muffie: Oh God, he's gonna take all our hats...
Quote #427Score: 2 + / -
(20:28:37) Eric: i have to read a book on baseball for english
(20:28:48) Tom: that sucks
(20:28:52) Tom: i hate baseball
(20:28:57) Eric: ya
(20:29:08) Eric: its about a guy who plays home plate i think
(20:29:12) Eric: the catcher in the rye
(20:29:26) Tom: the catcher in the rye isnt about baseball
Quote #425Score: 13 + / -
wackodood (3:13:42 AM): I remember mr. bucket
wackodood (3:13:53 AM): me and him aren't on speaking terms anymore
Later...
wackodood (3:17:46 AM): NO, MR. BUCKET
wackodood (3:18:05 AM): YOUR MOUTH IS NOT ROUND FOR THAT REASON!
Quote #424Score: 6 + / -
yatpay (3:58:24 AM): how the fuck do they take a picture of the galaxy that we're in!?
wackodood (3:58:44 AM): the aliens send them to us
wackodood (3:58:51 AM): via kazaa
Quote #423Score: 4 + / -
(While uncompressing 5 gigs of The Beatles... [to put that in perspective, that's 5000 megabytes, an average song is around 3 megabytes..)
(01:27:19) wackodood: if my power goes out while this is running
(01:27:22) wackodood: someone will die
Quote #421Score: 1 + / -
Mike H: So we meet again... JESUS.
Skye: Indeed we do... HITLER.
Quote #420Score: 20 + / -
James: *reading off a DVD* "World's Best X-Treme Sport Bloopers"!? How the hell.. it's like "Instead of his parachute opening, he died!"
Quote #419Score: 1 + / -
Miss Hiti: (Advice for the future)... and don't be afraid to try new things.. ... and now who wants to finish this melted ice cream?
Quote #418Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: Hey, what'd I get on that term paper?
Mr. Barth: What term paper?
Quote #417Score: 2 + / -
Muffie: What should we do with all the sticks? (from the reproduction of an ancient fish weir) Let's build a house.
Abby: Or a crop circle.
Quote #414Score: 0 + / -
Ms. Berkland (State Archaeologist): You're going to see... well, you're not going to see anything.
Quote #413Score: 10 + / -
Muffie: It's like a straight line but you have to turn a lot.
Quote #412Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: (Shows Muffie a picture of the first hydrogen bomb) See? it's too big. Too big to drop on people.
Muffie: Yeah. You have to throw people at it.
Quote #411Score: 4 + / -
Dr. Dragonas: What are you doing after school? (Meaning after graduation)
James: I'm going to be a hobo.
Dr. Dragonas: You can't afford to be a hobo.
Quote #410Score: 7 + / -
Dr. Peterson: It's a line! It's a plane! No! It's a three dimensional solid!
Quote #409Score: 7 + / -
Mr. Reilly: This is my last day of teaching... so of course I won't be teaching.
Quote #408Score: 8 + / -
James: I haven't watched ABC in... I don't think I've ever watched ABC!
Quote #407Score: 0 + / -
Mr. Carovillano: So what should we do with the prisoners?
Mark B: Kill them.
Mr. Carovillano: We can't do that, there are millions of people in prison.
Mark B: And we have millions of bullets!
Quote #406Score: 1 + / -
Beany: But I like most of my friends. No! I mean, all of my friends.
Quote #405Score: 11 + / -
James: How do you spell the word dock? D-O-C-K?
yatpay: Yeah..
James: ..I've never spelt that word in my whole life.
Quote #404Score: 3 + / -
Miss Hiti: I can't graduate because I don't have enough Whizz-Bong credits
Quote #403Score: 1 + / -
Jared: I don't even know what lake effect is I just say it a lot.
Quote #402Score: 9 + / -
(22:24:18) wackodood: have your glasses ever fallen into the toilet while you were taking a piss?
(22:24:39) [James' SN]: no
(22:24:40) [James' SN]: never
(22:24:43) [James' SN]: and if they did
(22:24:47) [James' SN]: i wouldnt pick them out
(22:24:51) [James' SN]: or ever use them
(22:25:23) wackodood: hahah!
Quote #401Score: 4 + / -
yatpay (7:39:17 PM): lol, i can't feel my thumb where i use the touchpad
wackodood (7:39:32 PM): you're so callous
Quote #400Score: 1 + / -
[Unnamed Staff Member]: Alright, who wants to go next? Bobby? Class: *laughs*
Bobby F: Why does everyone always laugh at me?
Quote #398Score: 1 + / -
(In the middle of English class.. Nick is sitting next to Miss Hiti)
Nick: I'm hungry. How 'bout you?
Miss Hiti: Yeah..
Nick: Wanna get something to eat?
Miss Hiti: ...
Quote #397Score: 1 + / -
(After the senior prank there was a rumor that the school was going to check the duct tape that held the desks together for fingerprints)
[Unnamed Staff Member]: This school can't afford paper, they're not going to look at duct tape for fingerprint analysis.
Quote #396Score: 1 + / -
Rachel: Sex created Dr. Burke. Sex is bad.
Quote #395Score: 2 + / -
Nick: *playing "Your Body is a Wonderland" on guitar*
Ms. Schlowski: Uh Nick, you're going to have to stop playing that. It's inappropriate for school.
Nick: Oh, OK. *starts playing "Hike Up Your Skirt a Little More and Show Your World to Me"*
Ms. Schlowski: Nick! One more time and you're after school.
Nick: *Plays intro to "She Fuckin' Hates me"*
Class: *laughs*
Ms. Schlowski: Nick!
Quote #394Score: 5 + / -
Ms. Schlowski: Now everyone be quiet!
Class: .....
Andre: You know when I was in third grade I wrote a story about a squirrel that could fly.
Ms. Schlowski: Andre get out!
Andre: It was a good story.
Quote #393Score: 1 + / -
Andre: What the hell does a black man have to do with white water rafting?
Quote #392Score: 0 + / -
Nick: Did you know that if you whip yourself with a Twizzler it looks like this?
Quote #390Score: 1 + / -
wackodood: foiled again
[Reli's SN]: FOILed?
[Reli's SN]: Are you a polynomial?
wackodood: just a monomial :-(
Quote #388Score: 4 + / -
(During the last class Psychology before the AP test)
yatpay: I'm never doing anything psychology related ever again.
Melissa M: I don't think I ever did.
Quote #387Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about Micahel Moore)
yatpay: He looks kind of like the alien from Men in Black.
Sean: He is.
Quote #386Score: -1 + / -
(We were in Latin class and came across the word "anus")
[Unnamed Person]: No, it does not mean she's an asshole, it actually means "old woman".
Nick: So all old women are assholes?
Quote #385Score: -2 + / -
(The night before the AP Physics test)
yatpay (11:00:20 PM): heh, all i've done is opened my book and immediately closed it
Thanh (11:00:31 PM): better than me
Thanh (11:00:36 PM): i've done nothing
yatpay (11:00:41 PM): hahaha, but you've been reviewing for a while
Thanh (11:00:44 PM): i was planning to study in a sec
yatpay (11:00:49 PM): i mean... that's all i've done for like, 3 weeks
Thanh (11:01:11 PM): i'm planning to study after this game of minesweeper
yatpay (11:01:19 PM): lmao
Thanh (11:01:27 PM): i get hooked to it once i started
Thanh (11:03:18 PM): i hate when i almost win the game then lose
yatpay (11:03:30 PM): lol, i hate the game
Thanh (11:03:38 PM): that always make me want to play another round
yatpay (11:03:46 PM): lol!
Quote #384Score: 0 + / -
[Unnamed Staff Member]: College Board should be in charge of homeland security... the people in Washington don't know what they are doing.
Quote #383Score: 10 + / -
yatpay (11:13:41 PM): man... i haven't been on a rollercoaster for the longest time..
[James' SN] (11:13:52 PM): same
[James' SN] (11:13:54 PM): oh wait
[James' SN] (11:14:03 PM): i was on one over the weekend
Quote #382Score: 2 + / -
Dr. Peterson: What... is your favorite color!? No, I mean.. the derivative of this..
Quote #381Score: 2 + / -
[Unnamed Staff Member]: I think a dress code is kind of ridiculous in this school since it's like.. "Let me hold your AK-47 while you go home and change your shoes."
Quote #380Score: 12 + / -
James: (talking about junior prom, which was a short cruise into Boston Harbor at night) The boat prom sucked. I mean, it was on a boat at night! What the hell am I looking at!?
Quote #377Score: 2 + / -
Mr. Carvillano: (talking about gay people..?) Well, that goes both ways. ..That was a really bad choice of words.
Quote #376Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: If you fell off a rollercoaster would you still ride rollercoasters?
James: Uhh..
yatpay: Like, if you fell off and broke your arm or something, would you still ride coasters?
James: Well.. if I still able to.
yatpay: So no matter how messed up you were, as long as you were physically capable of getting on you would ride it?
James: ..If I feel off twice I wouldn't.
Quote #375Score: 4 + / -
yatpay (9:06:19 PM): haha, people on nasa tv are such nerds
Steph (9:06 49 PM): people who watch NASA TV are such nerds...
yatpay (9:07:00 PM): lmao
Quote #374Score: 4 + / -
wackodood (11:11:07 PM): I could picture Dr. Burke as one of those people on willy wonka who eats the candy that makes you really round and bouncy like a ball
Quote #373Score: 1 + / -
Nick: I was at the carpet store the other day.. and I was wearing a hooded sweatshirt just wandering around by myself, my parents were somewhere else in the store. And a security guard starts following me.. where the hell am I going to hide a giant carpet roll!?
Quote #372Score: 3 + / -
Ariel: (Talking about her Sociology survey) We got some strange results from people who like can't read. Like "Age: Female"
Quote #370Score: 1 + / -
[Reli's SN]: Think you're all that, do you
SmarterChild: I will not think that I am all that do me!
Quote #369Score: 0 + / -
(Reli sent her conversation with Wacko to SmarterChild)
[Reli's SN]: [Reli's SN]: fwafwa.
wackodood: fwaffles?
[Reli's SN]: fweggo
[Reli's SN]: leggo my fweggo
wackodood: I like fwaffles better :-\
wackodood: you can have your fweggo
[Reli's SN]: fweggos ARE fwaffles
wackodood: FWUUU NO THEY FWARN'T
[Reli's SN]: FWEFFING LITTLE FWEFFER YOU, YES THEY FWAAAARE
[Reli's SN]: fweggos are fwaffles, by fweggos I no mean EGGS
wackodood: fweggos are synthesized fwaffles
wackodood: can't beat the fweal fwhing!
[Reli's SN]: FWI A FWAINFUL FWEATH
wackodood: Fwahahahahfhwahaa
SmarterChild: ...huh?
Quote #368Score: 1 + / -
yatpay (10:23:18 PM): my house is gonna be like in japan, no shoes allowed!
[Nick's SN] (10:23:42 PM): no girls either
yatpay (10:24:20 PM): that's not japanese!
[Nick's SN] (10:24:43 PM): thats the Japan i live in!
Quote #367Score: 7 + / -
wackodood (8:51:00 PM): god was like, "yo" and I was like "aight"
Quote #366Score: 1 + / -
Nick: I think candy canes should be made from crack cocaine because it would make kids a whole lot more fun to play with.
Quote #365Score: 0 + / -
Nick: Wouldn't it be cool if everything in life was 3D?
yatpay: ..you mean like it actually is?
Nick: ..yeah!
Quote #363Score: 7 + / -
yatpay (12:46:50): this is what we sent to the aliens via voyager...
wackodood (12:47:13 AM): cool
wackodood (12:47:20 AM): do we think aliens are retarded?
yatpay (12:47:27 AM): lmao
wackodood (12:47:30 AM): "here is a circle"
yatpay (12:47:36 AM): lmao!!
wackodood (12:47:36 AM): "here is a tangent function"
wackodood (12:47:44 AM): "I don't know what that is, but you can have it"
Quote #362Score: 13 + / -
James: My cats like never blink so I just stare at them until they blink. But Coco doesn't blink both eyes at the same time. She like, closes one, opens it, and then closes the other.
Quote #361Score: 5 + / -
Written on the board: Dr. P ishot!
Dr. Peterson: Is this a compliment or a threat?
Quote #360Score: 1 + / -
(In Latin)
Rachel: What's "quid"?
Zak: What.
Rachel: Quid.
Zak: What.
Rachel: Quid!
Zak and Nick: What!
Rachel: ...ohhh!
Nick: ..Who's on first?
Rachel: What?
Nick: Haha, nevermind.
Quote #357Score: 10 + / -
Mr. Barth: *hands behind back* How many of you, at least psychologically, support the environmental movement?
*A few students raise their hands*
Mr. Barth: OK.. *pulls out a bunch of papers from behind back* then you won't mind that I photocopied 12 pages on one! Ahh ha ha! It's crazy!!
Quote #356Score: 2 + / -
Dr. Peterson: I can be bought but I'm steep.. it would take the income of a small country.
Quote #354Score: 1 + / -
Thanh: Did you do the homework for phy- phy- the phy-, no, not physics, the phy.. the class we just came from!
yatpay: ..Calculus?
Thanh: Yeah!
Quote #353Score: 2 + / -
[Tom's SN] (3:10:00 AM): yeah
[Tom's SN] (3:10:16 AM): cant be toooo open minded
[Tom's SN] (3:10:23 AM): then you end up.. at a place like arisia
Quote #352Score: 1 + / -
yatpay (10:50:41 PM): so are you on the kernel panic special? [her laptop]
[Marjorie's SN] (10:51:01 PM): well, its been ok for the last few minutes
yatpay (10:51:05 PM): hahaha
[Marjorie's SN] signed off at 10:53:31 PM.
[Marjorie's SN] signed on at 10:54:11 PM.
yatpay (10:54:14 PM): lmao
yatpay (10:54:18 PM): was that what i think it was?
[Marjorie's SN] (10:54:28 PM): YOU CURSED IT!!!!!
[Marjorie's SN] (10:54:42 PM): it was running for a whole fifteen minutes with no problems!
Quote #351Score: 10 + / -
(For some reason James is afraid of popsicle sticks)
James: Oh my god... the other day I went to Ms. Lord's room and there was this huge bag of popsicle sticks on my desk.. I was like "ah!"
Quote #347Score: 0 + / -
Muffie's Uncle: Hey Cal, can I put googly eyes on the um......thingy dingy....the urinal?
Muffie's Dad: You mean the woodstove?
Muffie's Uncle: It's a stove...? oops......
Muffie: That's funny, I should tell that to my friend yatpay.
Muffie's Uncle: ........you don't have a friend named yatpay.
Quote #346Score: 2 + / -
(Watching Deep Impact right before the ending)
Astronaut: This is the closet to home we'll ever get..
Phil: Except when little pieces of you fly through the atmosphere!
Quote #345Score: 10 + / -
James: Knock knock! Who's there? The INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION!
Quote #344Score: 11 + / -
yatpay: Hey guess what, I got a $22,000 scholarship to WPI
James: Hey guess what I got..
yatpay: What?
James: ..a six foot cow kite.
Quote #343Score: 11 + / -
James: In psycho-cology we learned that a human being can only remember five things.. so here's a list of six things, and you have to read them off and not write them down or anything.
yatpay: OK.
James: *reads off list*
yatpay: *reads back list*
James: ...
yatpay: So did I get it right?
James: No..
yatpay: What'd I get wrong?
James: ...hahaha, maybe I should've written down the list.
Quote #340Score: 7 + / -
James: You know what's disgusting? Those commercials for those new McNuggets where they're like "Now with 100% real white meat!" it's like.. what was it before!?
Quote #339Score: 2 + / -
(I was at the eye doctor)
Eye doctor: Ok, so now we're going to measure the pressure in your eye.. *moves thing close to my eye*
yatpay: So what're you gonna do? Poke me in the eye?
Eye doctor: Uh, well, we're making contact with your cornea.
yatpay: Right so.. you're poking me in the eye.
Eye doctor: ...yes.
Quote #338Score: 12 + / -
(James was at an arcade taking pictures of an DDR pad with his old 35mm camera.)
Intimidating goth kid: You're taking pictures for a magazine aren't you?
James: No..
Intimidating goth kid: Yeah you are. Admit it.
James: I'm not..
Imtimidating goth kid: That's a nice camera. How much you pay for that?
James: Oh, uh.. I dunno, a couple.. something..
Intimidating goth kid: *moves closer* I wish I had a camera.
James: Yeah. You should, like, go get one.
Quote #337Score: 9 + / -
Show on Discovery Channel: This dirt road dates back 1000 years.
James: You could've paved it you know..
Quote #336Score: 1 + / -
Rachel (who has never met Wacko): Wacko's kind of cute in a creepy psycho kinda way.
Quote #335Score: 9 + / -
(Our normal lunch table had mysteriously disappeared so we had to move to the top of the cafeteria where the windows are.)
James: These tables suck!
yatpay: Well, there's sunlight..
James: Yeah, a window.. it's like sensory overload. *looks out window* I see a tree! Oh God!!
Quote #334Score: 0 + / -
Becky: Gabrielle why are you being so mean?
Meghan: What, do you have, like, PMS?
Gabrielle: No, but I have ADD!
Quote #331Score: 0 + / -
(Heard in hallway)
Student #1: Like that time that you kicked me after I had surgery..
Student #2: That was an accident!
Student #1: You kicked me seventeen times!!
Student #2: Yeah, by accident!
Quote #329Score: 2 + / -
Dr. Peterson: Did I say this during class yesterday or after school? ... It's becoming one big blur... with turkey wraps.
Quote #328Score: 8 + / -
Muffie: I stopped by James' house today and I was telling him how I didn't have any dinner last night except for some biscuits and he said "KFC biscuits?" and I said "No, the biscuits that come in the little can with that guy what goes 'heehee!'" and he goes "Oh I love those biscuits. Wait... Michael Jackson makes biscuits?
Quote #326Score: 8 + / -
Muffie: This morning I was sleeping and the alarm went off and the guy in my dream went "Hey, I dare you to sleep late" and I said "You're on!"
Quote #324Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: Becky, those brownies have been sitting there for two days.
Becky: I made them on Sunday!
yatpay: ...and today's Tuesday...
Quote #323Score: 8 + / -
James: But chocolate's the most deadly substance for cats! Besides cars. Cars and hammers.
Quote #322Score: 10 + / -
[James' SN]: :'( :( i wish i had a duck in my mailbox...
Quote #321Score: 2 + / -
Dan from Work: (Talking about necrophilia) ...if it wasn't for the fear of them waking up, I'd probably be into that sort of thing myself.
Quote #318Score: 9 + / -
James: Mrs. Fogarty said that the best time to have a baby is when you're pregnant. No wait.
Quote #317Score: 2 + / -
[Unnamed Staff Member #1]: The other day I felt like I was actually a teacher for a second.
[Unnamed Staff Member #2]: Oh I love when that feeling hits.
Quote #316Score: 9 + / -
James: I watched a movie last night.
yatpay: What movie?
James: When Good Comets Go Bad, I mean, Deep Impact.
Quote #314Score: 0 + / -
Amanda K: The driving instructors get like, wicked pissed when you drive on the wrong side of the yellow line.
Quote #311Score: 10 + / -
(Talking about the Old Man in the Mountain)
James' Dad: Someone you know died yesterday.
James: Who?
James' Dad: Someone really old.
James: ...Jesus!?
James' Dad: Noo, older.
James: ...Santa!?
James' Dad: Noope, older.
James: ....Jesus!?!?!
Quote #309Score: 5 + / -
Nick: Is there gravity on the space station?
yatpay: Hell no.
Nick: But what about Armegeddon?
yatpay: That movie didn't make any sense. Mir couldn't take that kind of rotation.. Mir was leaking!. Plus, you'd end up standing on the ends of the tunnels, not the way they showed it in the movie..
Nick: ..But Armegeddon is historical fact!
Quote #308Score: 5 + / -
(There's a sub at our school who used to go to the school)
Student: Isn't it annoying being back here?
Sub: Not really.. you see, this time I don't have to deal with anybody or anything... it's kind of like watching a sitcom.
Quote #307Score: 10 + / -
James: Sierra Mist isn't even refreshing.. It hurts my mouth!
Quote #305Score: 0 + / -
Pinder: Some people don't ever die.
Quote #302Score: 1 + / -
Dr. Peterson: e to the u...
Amanda: I don't like u!
Dr. Peterson: ..thank you!
Quote #301Score: 5 + / -
Amanda: *walks into Systems Engineering class which happens to be all male*
Mark C: Look! It's a girl! ..Let's get her!
Mrs. McCollum: Run! Don't walk!
Quote #300Score: 3 + / -
Renee: *looks at pictures of my cat* He looks like my cat. But my cat's white.
yatpay: So he looks like a cat..
Renee: ...shut up.
Quote #299Score: 1 + / -
(A muffin was left on a desk in a classroom)
Mr. Melvin: Anybody wanna eat this muffin?
Class: *stare*
Mr. Melvin: Fine! Just throw it away then.. *holds up trash barrel*
Student: *throws muffin at barrel. The muffin misses the barrel, bounces off the chalkboard and lands on the floor.*
Mr. Melvin: *picks up muffin and throws it in the trash*
LATER....
Mr. Melvin: *fishes muffin out of trash* Think I can get someone in the next class to eat this muffin?
Quote #298Score: 6 + / -
Student: Somebody steals my sandwich every day... So you know what I'm gonna do?
[Unnamed Staff Member]: Shit in the sandwich?
Quote #296Score: 3 + / -
Dr. Peterson: *after spraying water in the air for a while* I want to see if I can grow mushrooms on this floor...
Quote #293Score: 1 + / -
[Unnamed Staff Member]: You're drinking in my class and I've been telling you not to all year..
Nick: Yeah, you see... it's this thing that I have.
[Unnamed Staff Member]: This thing that you have?
Nick: Yeah, this thing.. it's called..
Zak: Thirst!
Nick: Yeah! This thing that I have called thirst.
Quote #291Score: 0 + / -
Dr. Peterson: If I have something robust, like, n^2... (a little later) If I have something really powerful.. Voldemort..
Quote #289Score: 10 + / -
Dr. Peterson: A calculator makes a wonderful tool, but it makes a lousy crutch.
Simone: I saw people stroking their calculators..
Dr. Peterson: It only makes a mediocre pet.
Quote #288Score: 6 + / -
Mr. Barth: Everyone take out a piece of paper. I drew it on the board, this is what a piece of paper looks like.
Quote #287Score: 5 + / -
Tyler: If I could, I would like to have sex with MIT as a whole.
Jared: As a hole? *makes a hole with his hand*
Quote #286Score: 3 + / -
Renee: *reading her thesis* Ok, so my argument is something like "Although drugs may open your mind they will eventually destroy it."
Miss Hiti: Well, can you really argue against that?
Mike B: I think we should do drugs in class and find out.
Quote #285Score: 0 + / -
(In English class)
Dr. Burke: *opens door* *looks around* I'm looking for Nikko Patten but apparently he's not here.
Miss Hiti: Oh, that's because he's not in this class.
Dr. Burke: *snaps fingers in disappointment* *leaves*.
~Five minutes later~
Dr. Burke: *opens door again* *looks around* *snaps fingers and leaves*
~Five minutes later~
James M: *opens door and is holding report cards*
Miss Hiti: Nikko Patten is not here!!
James M: Oh, uh.. ok. *leaves*
Quote #284Score: 1 + / -
(Still in English class. Our English class is in Mr. Melvin's room)
Speaker in wall: BEEEP! Mr. Melvin?
Miss Hiti: Oh, uh, he's not he--
Speaker in wall: Helloooo?
Miss Hiti: Yeah, he's--
Speaker in wall: *click*
Miss Hiti: ...OK!
Quote #283Score: 4 + / -
Mr. Barth: (Describing the best senior prank ever) So you all decide that you're going to move [Unnamed Staff Member]s car somewhere funny..
Student: Like in the middle of Ell pond.
Mr. Barth: Yeah! Like on a platform anchored in the middle of Ell Pond. You'd all get together and split up abilities.. The engineering people.. Lanza and Luxenberg would figure out how to do it.. Jimmy Mac would figure out how to film it from all the angles.. [yatpay] would make the website...
Quote #282Score: 6 + / -
Mr. Barth: In normal classes the dynamic is "Yaay, we got it right". With D block (us) the dynamic is "Yaay, I got it right and I'm so much smarter than you."
Quote #281Score: 2 + / -
Ms. Whitner: No one's allowed to die of pneumonia while taking the test.
Quote #280Score: 0 + / -
Mr. Schott: (On PA System) Can I have your announcements please -er- attention.
Quote #279Score: 2 + / -
Pat: So, exponential beats polynomial and factorial beats exponential..
Dr. Peterson: Yes.
yatpay: It's like Rock Paper Scissors!
Dr. Peterson: It's more like Rock Paper Dynamite.
Quote #276Score: 1 + / -
Mr. Carovillano: (Referring to Spectacle Island) It's named Spectacle Island 'cause it's supposed to look like spectacles. I guess it looks like spectacles on drugs or something.
Quote #275Score: 1 + / -
Nick: I'm gonna cut off my left leg.
yatpay: Oh?
Nick: Yeah. It's not pulling its own weight.
Quote #274Score: 1 + / -
Amanda: (Referring to Calculus) If it makes sense you're not allowed to do it.
Quote #273Score: 0 + / -
Dr. Peterson: Infinity times zero is not a happy camper.
Quote #272Score: 8 + / -
(Outside the cafetorium there was a table with information about joining the Army with two army guys sitting at it. There's a big banner hanging off the table that says "AN ARMY OF ONE")
Muffie: Army of one!? There's two guys there!
Quote #271Score: 3 + / -
Miss Hiti: Fill in the blank. Get the door...
Bobby: It's Dominoes.
Miss Hiti: OK, fill in the blank again. Maybe she's born with it...
Bobby: Maybe it's cancer.
Quote #270Score: 2 + / -
Dr. Peterson: L, as in what the.
Class: Huh? *confused*
MHS Dave: Hell! H-E double hockey sticks..
Class: *laughs*
Dr. Peterson: Yes..
Pat: Ohh! I was sitting here thinking "there's no L in fuck!"
Everyone: *laughs*
Dr. Peterson: Thank you Pat..
Quote #269Score: 10 + / -
James: My pants are wet for some reason and I don't know why.
Quote #268Score: 1 + / -
(Mr. Fogarty lost a finger when he was a kid in an electricity accident)
Mr. Fogarty: I need five helpers *holds up hand with four fingers*
Class: *laughs*
Mr. Fogarty: *puts hand down, puts up other hand* There.
Quote #267Score: 10 + / -
(James bought some blue tinted glasses, not sunglasses, regular glasses)
Mr. Fogarty: Take those off.
James: They're my glasses. I need them to see.
Mr. Fogarty: Sunglasses aren't allowed in the school.
James: They're not sunglasses.
Mr. Fogarty: They weren't blue yesterday!
James: Yeah I know... I bought them yesterday.
Mr. Fogarty: *glare* ... *walks off*
Quote #266Score: 2 + / -
Ms. Whitner: So what's the area of the circle..
Robert: pi r square.
Ms. Whitner: Pi are not square, pi are round.
Class: *stares*
Ms. Whitner: ...I waited all day for that.
Quote #264Score: 12 + / -
yatpay: They found a fossil of a ten foot long and four foot high guinea pig..
James: I wish that was my guinea pig... I'd ride it to school!
Quote #263Score: 1 + / -
In the Melrose police reports: Dog's foot stuck in other dog's bum on Penney Road.
Quote #262Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: As of now any homework that is not passed in a week after it was due will get a zero. Obviously there are some exceptions... if you are dead you don't have to pass it in.
Quote #261Score: 4 + / -
Freshman #1: *to James* Oh I love your hair!
Freshman #2: Oh me too!
Freshman #3: Shut up! Now he's gonna burn the school down!
Quote #260Score: 1 + / -
Andre: When I go to my 5 year reunion I'm gonna bring 5 kids, one for every year I've been out.
Quote #259Score: 2 + / -
Andre: But I'm not gonna take care of my kids.
Ms. Bartlett: Why?
Andre: I'm gonna be in jail.
Ms. Bartlett: What for?
Andre: Murder.
Quote #258Score: 1 + / -
Dr. Peterson: I am trying to demolish my grammar, which is hard because I went to Wellesley so it's been pounded into my cerebellum.. right behind the ability to drink tea.
Quote #256Score: 2 + / -
Mr. Barth: She [his baby daughter] just sits there... is she supposed to do stuff?
(Thanks to Amanda for the quote)
Quote #254Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: 2.5 cm... or alias .025 m
Quote #251Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: (Referring to thin film interference) You kind of had to pick that one up off the streets.
Quote #246Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: Now it's time for what you've all been waiting for..
Amanda: A demonstration?
Thanh: Another worksheet?
yatpay: Hawking radiation?
Matt A: The bell?
Quote #244Score: 5 + / -
(Someone made a comment to the effect that everyone in the room was white. Abby is Chinese)
Abby: ....Wait a minute! I'm not white!
Quote #243Score: 8 + / -
[Muffie's SN]: i'm supposed to be working on my anthro paper...
yatpay: me too
[Muffie's SN]: but instead of "maori" i accidentally typed "tetris"
yatpay: lmao
Quote #242Score: 1 + / -
Kenji: I got kicked out of Mrs. Gibbon's class for that... and I'm not even in her class.
Quote #240Score: 9 + / -
James: I can't wait till I get cancer...
Quote #239Score: 6 + / -
yatpay: Was Stevie Wonder always blind or did he learn piano first?
Muffie: Hang on, I'll go ask my mom.... Mommy! Ohh, never mind she's not here.... I'll ask kitty... kitty!
Quote #238Score: 7 + / -
James: Weee! I'm on Flashback! Ow my head hurts!
Quote #237Score: 3 + / -
Thanh: 10^-6 and 10^-19 is almost the same thing...
Quote #236Score: 0 + / -
(Talking about illegal immigrants)
Mark: These people are criminals! We are giving money to criminals! The moment they cross the border they become criminals!
Rachel: Well, we give money to criminals anyway. We have to feed the people in jail..
Mark: That's wrong too!
Quote #235Score: 5 + / -
Becky: *describing what Mir is* It's... that space thing... that the Russian people had... *points* in the air.
Quote #233Score: 4 + / -
Mr. Reilly: *subbing for a class and taking attendance* Who are you... you with the fat head.
Quote #230Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: This is the other great equation. You look at it and you just wanna cry!
Quote #229Score: 5 + / -
Dr. Peterson: My mind is a cesspool of useless information.
Quote #228Score: 1 + / -
yatpay: Never name your computer until you've used it for a while so you can name it for it's characteristics..
Edith: ...Sparky.
*yatpay and Commander laugh*
Edith: I named my computer "You Fucking Ass".
Quote #227Score: 2 + / -
(12:32 am on New Years)
Commander: What's today's date? Oh wait.
Quote #226Score: 3 + / -
(At New Years)
[Kitty's SN]: mm.. what's your resolution?
[Commander's SN]: uh
[Commander's SN]: the 1024 by 768 i think
[Commander's SN]: the one that looks like that
[Kitty's SN]: lol
[Kitty's SN]: no
[Kitty's SN]: your new years resolution!
[Kitty's SN]: silly
[Commander's SN]: oh, haha
Quote #224Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: lol, i love the kind of rollercoaster that ends by crashing into the ground at a 90 degree angle
[James' SN]: :)
[James' SN]: thats the best part!
Quote #223Score: 10 + / -
(James' watch starts beeping)
yatpay: Why is your watch beeping?
James: ..'cause it's happy.
Quote #222Score: 2 + / -
Becky: This is a boring ten seconds..
yatpay: How impatient can you get?
Quote #219Score: 1 + / -
Becky: I'm so hungry! No wait, I mean full!
Quote #218Score: 1 + / -
*Becky is watching the Nutcracker and there was a woman talking that I thought looked familiar*
yatpay: Isn't she on.... James Bond?
Becky: Princess Diaries.
yatpay: Oh.. well... that's the same thing.
Quote #217Score: -2 + / -
(I set up a light that changes colors slowly over a 10 minute cycle behind the Christmas tree)
*the light is green*
Becky: Wasn't that like.. blue before?
yatpay: Yup.
*five minutes later and the light is indigo now*
Becky: *notices light* Oh my God! OH MY GOD!!
*three minutes later and the light is green now*
Becky: *looks at light again* !! Are you serious!? I'm just gonna sit here until it changes
*two minutes later and the light is blue now*
Becky: Oh no! I didn't see it change!
*eight minutes later and the light is violet now*
Becky: *coughs violently and points to light*
Quote #216Score: 0 + / -
(I was watching something on the History Channel and they mentioned Osama Bin Laden)
Becky: Wait.... I'm confused.
yatpay: What?
Becky: Who's the guy they just caught?
yatpay: ..Saddam Hussein?
Becky: Ohh.. what'd he do?
yatpay: ...he was the tyrannical leader of Iraq.
Becky: Ohh.. then.. who did the World Trade Center?
yatpay: Osama Bin Laden.
Becky: Ohh... I thought they were like.. the same person.
Quote #215Score: 0 + / -
(A commercial for Fox Weather was on and it showed the recent snowstorm)
Becky: It's not snowing.... is it snowing!? *looks out window* ..It's not snowing... why are they showing commercials for snow?
Quote #214Score: 11 + / -
(GSA = Gay Straight Alliance.. it's a club at school)
James: GSA isn't about being gay.. it's about a bunch of straight people planning a Christmas party.
Quote #213Score: 12 + / -
James' Dad: *hands James a can of soda. The can says "Orange" on it* Here, I got you this from Veryfine. The lady said it was cherry.
James: But it says orange.
James' Dad: Yeah yeah, but it's cherry.
James: *opens can*
*orange liquid comes out*
James: *tatses liquid* Dad.. this is orange. Here, taste.
James' Dad: *tastes* Hey! This is orange!
James: And you're surprised!?
Quote #212Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: [My job] wants me to go in for another fucking drug test tomorrow..
James: you still work for them?
yatpay: apparently
Quote #211Score: 3 + / -
yatpay: Hey dad, you should come see [the third Lord of the Rings movie] with us. It'll be fun, you can see a three and half hour movie where you have no idea who anybody is or what's going on.
yatpay's Dad: ...that's how I live my life.
Quote #210Score: 1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: Now, generally speaking, women float better than men. So what can we conclude from this? Men are denser. take from that what you will..
Quote #209Score: 2 + / -
Mr. Carovillano: In medieval Europe they used to castrate little boys so their voices would stay the same and they could always sing soprano.
Pat: But... that defeats the whole purpose of being a musician!
Quote #205Score: 3 + / -
Emily's away message: breaking news! saddam hussein captured by military forces; osama bin laden declared world hide-and-seek champion.
Quote #200Score: 27 + / -
Nick: You know what I want to see?
yatpay: ...no, what?
Nick: Homeless Olympics. They could have races with grocery carts full of cans... Who can wear the most jackets... Jumping out of alleys and scaring the shit out of people...
Quote #197Score: 5 + / -
yatpay: Who was the first man on the moon?
Becky: ....Neil......Armstrong.
yatpay: Who was the second?
Becky: ....Buzz.
yatpay: Who was the third guy who stayed in the command module and orbited the moon?
Becky: ..Oh! Wasn't he that wicked old guy?
yatpay: ....You mean John Glenn?
Becky: *excited* Yeah! Wasn't he like, the oldest guy on the moon?
yatpay: ..no.
Becky: Ohh...
Quote #196Score: 1 + / -
(Talking about how Jared's System Engineering class is teaching us valuable life skills)
Neil: Oh no! We're trapped in the woods! Bust out Knoppix!
Quote #195Score: -1 + / -
(Talking about Ms. Whitner's ex-husband)
Dave F: Are you going to send him a Christmas card?
Amanda: I don't think she's going to send him a Christmas card Dave..
Ms. Whitner: Christmas card... I'll send him a Christmas drop dead!
Quote #193Score: 3 + / -
Commander's teacher: I gave Yu Yu Gao a 93 because I assume all quiet Chinese girls are intelligent.. I have no idea who Yu Yu Gao is.
Quote #192Score: 25 + / -
(Calling James on his cell phone)
yatpay: Where are you?
James: In the ocean...
Quote #190Score: 3 + / -
(Latin students will appreciate this..)
Marjorie: There is no vocative.. it's just a myth.
Quote #189Score: 9 + / -
James: You know the best part I love about the dentist? Oh wait.. that's not the dentist.. that's the pizza parlor.
Quote #188Score: -3 + / -
Mrs. Gilmartin: You are so provincial
Dan G: If I knew what that meant I'd say something back.
Quote #186Score: 2 + / -
The title on Commander's essay that "is supposed to be related to Oedipus" is "Fuck Your Mother: The Relationship Between Greek Tragedy and Modern Profanity"
Quote #184Score: 6 + / -
Mr. Reilly: OK.. so who got an answer?
Class: *silent*
Mr. Reilly: Come onnn... who knows the answer?
Studnet: We don't know!
Mr. Reilly: Oh.. well that's too bad because neither do I...
Quote #183Score: 3 + / -
Students: *singing Happy Birthday to a student*
Mr. Reilly: Thaaank you.
Student: Oh Mr. Reilly, is it your birthday too?
Mr. Reilly: Nooo....
Quote #182Score: 10 + / -
[James' SN]: I have to make a boom boom in my pants... will you eat my boom
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess.
Quote #181Score: 2 + / -
Muffie: Mr. Greg, [yatpay]'s got pneumonia so he can't make it to anime club this week.
Mr. Greg: Oh no! Is he sick?
Muffie: ...yes!
Mr. Greg: That's terrible! Is he ok?
Muffie: ..no!
Quote #180Score: 2 + / -
Becky: I was over my friend's house and her dad was making beer and I thought it was so cool. I saw him making it, I saw him put the meat in it.
yatpay: Meat? Why would he put meat in it?
Becky: I dunno, I saw him doing it..
yatpay: There's no meat in beer...
Becky: Maybe it was a different pot.
Aunt Teresa: Nothing like fermented meat..
Quote #179Score: 2 + / -
Becky: I think I'm made to be a teacher.... I like the stickers...
Quote #178Score: 2 + / -
yatpay: What are you doing?
Mr. Greg: Making graph paper..
yatpay: You know they make that right?
Quote #177Score: 10 + / -
(James was waiting for me on Main Street at 3AM so that we could go see a Space Station pass)
Cop: *pulls up and shines a light on James* Hey! What're you doing here!?
James: ... *points into the sky* ...Mars!
Cop: Oh... ok.... *drives away*
Quote #176Score: 10 + / -
James: *Is jumping on a handrail* I really shouldn't be jumping on thi-- *rail breaks off and falls down stairs making a very loud noise*
Everyone in room: *looks at James*
James: ...oops...
Quote #174Score: 23 + / -
(Somehow penicillin got brought up and I mentioned how I'm really really allergic to it..)
Wacko's Mom: I'll make some rice crispy treats... with just a little penicillin...
Wacko: No! Mom! No penicillin
Quote #173Score: 9 + / -
Wacko: *Wraps self in blanket* I'm a Mexican!
LATER...
Wacko: *Takes off blanket* Aww.. I am no longer a Mexican... I'm just a Swedish nerd..
Quote #172Score: 0 + / -
Phil: (Talking about buying a new space shuttle) Instead of buying another one, they should design a new one, you know, one that doesn't explode..
Quote #170Score: 3 + / -
Mr. Reilly: Halloween is for chiiildren and worshippers of the dead...... I don't do eiiiither.
Quote #168Score: 8 + / -
yatpay: *is watching TV and is on phone with Wacko* Pregnant lady... onnn... the TV.
Wacko: Male pregnancy.com?
yatpay: Noo.... female pregnancy.
Wacko: Aww, there's nothing special about female pregancy.. they get pregnant all the time.
Quote #167Score: 5 + / -
(This one's from when my Dad was in the army..)
(It was a nice day, and my Dad decided to fly a kite behind the supply station building. The fact that he was on duty didn't seem to bother him...)
yatpay's Dad's Commanding Officer: *Sees yatpay's Dad* Burke! What are you doing!?
yatpay's Dad: .. Sir! Flying a kite sir!
yatpay's Dad's Commanding Officer: Oh!... well!... carry on. *walks away*
Quote #164Score: 3 + / -
Miss Hiti: There's nothing worse than getting the same question wrong twice.
Mike B: I think getting stabbed in the face is worse!!
Quote #163Score: 7 + / -
(ISS = International Space Station)
wackodood: oh yeah, I got up this morning for ISS at 530
wackodood: but it was fucking raining
wackodood: and I was like, fuck youuuu
wackodood: well, not you
wackodood: the rain
Quote #162Score: 3 + / -
(On giving flowers on dates)
Mr. Carovillano: You stink, here, have some flowers.
Quote #161Score: 13 + / -
Mr. Barth: I just thought of the greatest Halloween costume for school ever. On Halloween, just skip school, don't even show up. The next day come in and say that you were invisible.
Quote #159Score: 5 + / -
(Just read it out loud..)
Ms. Whitner: What's the maximum height you can get out of something that you threw up at 50 meters per second?
Quote #158Score: -1 + / -
Ms. Whitner: Whenever I see something that looks tricky or doubtful, I try to avoid it. That's my life philosophy.
Quote #157Score: 3 + / -
(Talking about the Walk for Hunger)
Ms. Whitner: You go 20 miles and have 0 displacement.. what an obnoxious thing!
Quote #156Score: 5 + / -
-(-party) = party
physics = -party (physics is the opposite of a party)
physics^2 = (-party)^2
sqrt(physics)^2 = sqrt(-party)^2
physics = i*party (physics is an imaginary party)
(Thanks to Jared and Amanda for their "fit of brilliance")
Quote #155Score: 5 + / -
Ms. Whitner: Chalk is not destroyed, it is merely rendered useless.
Quote #154Score: 4 + / -
Dr. Dragonas: Hamburg has become a place away from home.
Quote #153Score: 3 + / -
Dave C: You're going to heaven Dr. Dragonas, you're a good person.
Dr. Dragonas: I'm going to hell in a handshake.
Quote #152Score: 13 + / -
James: Sean really has to stop attacking random people..
Quote #151Score: 2 + / -
(Our school was having a new speaker system installed)
Secretary on PA: Please excuse the interruption... uh.. we were just uh, testing the new PA system... It seems to be working.. Oh, uh.. if you can't hear this don't worry.. it's still being worked on.. Thank you.
Quote #149Score: 1 + / -
(On the way back from NYC)
Carmine: Let's play count the hookers! There's a hooker! There's a hooker!
Quote #148Score: 0 + / -
(After eating his first meal in a while..)
Mr. Greg: Wow, that was good. Food is so good.
Quote #144Score: 1 + / -
(At Canobie Lake Park, the ride Starblaster has very bright white lights shining on it, making it impossible to see any stars.)
yatpay: *to ride operator* What star, specifically, is this blasting?
James: Look around. Do you see any stars? No! 'Cause they blasted them all!
Quote #143Score: 7 + / -
*James hits yatpay*
(There's a bottle of lemonade on an outside mesh pocket thing on James' backpack)
yatpay: I'll steal your lemonade! *runs after James*
James: *runs away* I don't have any lemonade!
yatpay: Yeah you do!
James: *turns backpack around while talking* Where? I don't have any... *sees lemonade* fuck you!
Quote #142Score: 1 + / -
(Talking about a visual presentation, posters, etc)
Mr. Barth: Don't put little paragraphs on the poster like... who discovered the eye...
Quote #141Score: 10 + / -
yatpay: Guess what.
James: What? Did you get a new cat?
yatpay: Nope.
James: Ham?
yatpay: Nope.
James: What is it!? I said a new cat and ham, what else is there in this world!?
Quote #136Score: 4 + / -
Mr. Barth: Russia is a free democratic capitalism. They have McDonald's there.
Quote #132Score: 1 + / -
Pat O: Gerbils are so cute... until they eat their babies.
Quote #131Score: 2 + / -
Commander's Teacher: I think that every year, there should be a 13 year old orgy. every 13 year old in America should get naked and have sex, to get it out of their system.
Quote #128Score: 0 + / -
Commander's Teacher: (After wasting an entire class one only one presentation, the class is almost over) This is all because of your dumbass presentation.
Quote #127Score: 4 + / -
yatpay's Dad: Actually, if everybody stopped worrying about hungry people, the problem would correct itself.
yatpay: Wa?
yatpay's Dad: They'd all starve!
yatpay: Ohh..
Quote #126Score: 6 + / -
Wacko: Lead paint equals much fun.
Quote #125Score: 9 + / -
James: *to Muffie* I hate you so much, you're my best friend!
Quote #124Score: 5 + / -
Medusa: My science teacher.. for a different class.. got pissed at her class, so she made the class write down some goals.. They handed it in. She ripped up the paper and told the class that they aren't going to achieve those goals anyways...
Quote #122Score: -3 + / -
Mrs. Singer: Math is for people without souls.
Quote #119Score: 12 + / -
yatpay: I told my cousin how my babysitter was your sister and he said "Kelly [James's last name]!? She's friggin' crazy! The other day I saw her running down the street chasing some kid and beating him over the head with a baton!"
James: That was me!
Quote #118Score: 15 + / -
(James has about 2900 posts on ThrillNetwork's forums)
James: After I hit 3000 posts I'm quitting 'cause I hate TN...
(1000 posts later)
James: ........I hate TN so much...
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Quote Greats

Bryce - 173

James - 134

Brett - 133

Mel - 81

Tony - 75

yatpay - 65

Topaz - 56

Wacko - 49

Becky - 48

Vic - 48

Clark James - 38

Brandon - 32

Shawn - 32

Suz - 29

Nugget - 23

Muffie - 22

Mike - 19

Beager - 17

Matt C - 16

Dr. Peterson - 15

Mr. Reilly - 15

Nick - 15

Phil - 14

Goran - 13

Beany - 12

Rosie - 12

Yatpay's Dad - 12

Ms. Whitner - 11

Amanda - 10

Tekdino - 10

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